I read this artical while sitting at my desk during work. All I here is Blah Blah Blah. Some of us who are spouses of a Solider realize that all along we have been an independet person before marriage. Our Husbands are only an appendige. Can you live without an Arm? Yes. What about a Leg? Yes!!! Those making money off a sad story to tell or how hard it is for deployment left behinds, are sad and lonley people who should have already known who they were!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all have our Stories!!!!!!!
I am a National Guard wife (previous Marine wife of 14 years) and each deployment has been different. My husband was deployed with the Marines 3 times and is getting ready to deploy with the National Guard for the 2nd time. It does get easier, and you do realize what you can do by yourself when you're faced with it. People are different and handle things differently. So to anyone struggling with deployment, it does get better. And to the other lady that posted a reply, we all don't find ourselves at the same time. It takes some longer than others to realize we've always had the ability to make it alone. So to all the spouses, God Bless and keep your head up!!
I read this artical while sitting at my desk during work. All I here is Blah Blah Blah. Some of us who are spouses of a Solider realize that all along we have been an independet person before marriage. Our Husbands are only an appendige. Can you live without an Arm? Yes. What about a Leg? Yes!!! Those making money off a sad story to tell or how hard it is for deployment left behinds, are sad and lonley people who should have already known who they were!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We all have our Stories!!!!!!!
Ouch, little rough there aren't you. Yes, we all have our stories but isn't it great that maybe by sharing them, someone else can benefit. Not everyone comes from the same background or has a good support system. For those, like you who are strong and confident and independent, remember that it is a blessing and not everyone gets to be so blessed in this life. I applaud this woman for putting her story together in a book to show that she struggled but that she was able to grow and triumph during a really tough time in her life. I hope a lot of people get her book and if she makes a ton of money off of it, good for her. Plus, if it helps some wives get through a deployment better and maybe even save a marriage or two, how wonderful is that!!
My wife raised a Son while I was deployed twice. Never needed any thing. Never asked for anything. My mother raised three children when my Dad passed. Never asked for anything. IMO about 27% of these young wives are nothing but a bunch of cry babies. But when divorce time comes around they sure know how to stick out the ole hand and ask for that MONEY.
Mixed emotions on this article ... glad the book author is sharing her experiences and if it helps somebody else, great!
I remember the days of snail mail and no family support groups ... and when many wives didn't have others around them in like circumstances because their husbands were draftees out of Podunk, XX. I wonder if it wasn't easier to adjust then when one didn't have an expectation of frequent or personal communication via e-mail/phone/internet. One expected little and often that was exactly what one got. No disappointments. I hadn't realized how much things had changed til our daughter was deployed to Iraq ... and we got a safe-arrival e-mail followed up several days later by a phone call. Though distant from her unit's CONUS station, we also got frequent e-mail updates from her unit's family support group and, a couple times, phone calls from them.
Ok be a military member first and then become a dependent. And you can see and deal with both sides. You have to be strong. First deployments are hard. The military member are over there fighting and trying to stay alive. If they can deal with that. Spouses should be able to deal with being alone
I know how hard it is to be a spouse, but I think we also need to think a little about the parents of the soldier. How the parents are coping with the deployment, especialy the Mother. I'm both a spouse and a mother. But all the time that my son has been in Afghanistan, not one person has asked me, how I'am feeling. I, was a military wife for 26yrs. So I feel we need to include the parents. Remember those soldiers, they had parents before they had spouses. So keep that in mind, when the soldiers come home. It should be a reunion, not only for the spouses.
Glad you brought this up. You are right, there is not as much thought concerning the parents as to the spouses durng deployment. I try to bring up this very topic when involved in conversations along the lines of our Troops deployments.
I often think back to 1969 when my mom and dad saw me off at the airport on my way to Vietnam. I was wounded and after spending 3 months in the hospital in Japan was reunited with my parents back home.
Thirty five years later (2004), there are my parents, along with my wife of 37 years, 3 daughters, and 8 grandchildren seeing me off at the airport on my way to Iraq. Made the whole tour safe and sound this time.
As a parent its hard enough to see your young sons and daughters off on a dangerous deployment. And as our Military in Iraq is made up of nearly half Gaurdsmen and Reservist, some parents are seeing their older sons and daughters off again on dangerous deployments along with the son/daughter-in-law, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.
As for deployment struggles concerning my wife, on her part, there was never a negative attitude concerning the deployment once deployed (can't say that before deployment though). This allowed me to concentrate on my duties and missions as a team leader. My wife was every much a Trooper as those serving in Iraq.
When I first saw the heading, I thought this was going to be about a complaining spouse; however, after reading the article, that does not appear to be the case. I have not read the book, but nowhere in the article did the author complain that her husband had to deploy or his deployment was too long. It seems to be about her struggles and how she overcame the issues surrounding the deployment which was her husband's first.
I think this is a great story. Some folks may get something out of it, others may not. I am on my second deployment (although the 2 were 10 years apart). For the first deployment, my wife and I had no children and now we have 2. My wife has had struggles with each of them. In our case, the second deployment has been more difficult because of the challenge of raising 2 young children on her own. Hearing how someone else has dealt with these difficulties - or just knowing that she is not alone - can provide great assistance, especially in a case like ours where there is no FSG or network of spouses of deployed soldiers. I am an individual augmentee and did not deploy with a unit. My wife is a strong woman, and a good wife and mother. The struggles she goes through are not an indication of how good of a spouse/mother she is.
As someone earlier mentioned, every deployment is different and everyone handles the deployment in a different manner. It will be more challenging for some than others. Personally, I would be concerned if my wife went through the deployment with ease. That would indicate she really doesn't need me around and/or didn't notice a significant difference with my departure. That would tell me either there is a problem in our relationship, or I was not pulling my weight while I was home.
In the end, I very much respect the spouses of deployed soldiers. I truly believe they have the more difficult job. I can focus on my work while my wife must deal with all of the problems at home, the children, and worrying about me. We do get to communicate often, but sometimes, that can make things worse.
My boyfriend has been deployed since Sept 2007 and it is very hard especially when in the beginning we were talking everyday and in contact all the time, well as i know with the Army things change, now he is always away and if i hear fr him once every 10th day by email thats alot, we have not had any phone communication since Nov. and i was spoiled by talking all the time now nothing...it does become lonely and i do try to keep busy..i worry about him day and night as his missions are so dangerous yet critical to him and his soldiers..i stand behind him all the way..he has no idea when he will get to come home, but i know i cannot wait for that moment for us to be together...i always wanted to be an Army wife and when he gets back to the states looks like that will happen, than i can go with him wherever he goes unless of course he deploys to a place where i cannot be which i hope that will not happen, but u never know..i have sleepless nights and worry alot, but its in the lord's hands and out of my control, so for now i have to go on with my life and wait patiently till the day my love of my life will be here with me...but i do feel for all of us in this situation, i think when u have children it does not make it easier in a sense however time passess quickly than when u r alone....i need to look into a hearts apart group here and get involved with that i think that is good for the mental state to talk amongst other military girlfriends and spouses...god bless to all and to our Soldiers doing a great job...
This is the reason I stayed single during the time I stayed in the Army for twenty years. My nephew got married after reenlisting in the Army and now they are seperated.
