I AM ENJOYING THESE "RULES"...MY WIFE WILL NOT BE...AFTER 43 YEARS, SHE DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW EVERYTHING :-)

RONCO

I need not worry about sleeping on the couch. Since my Wife hits the rack early, we sleep in separate bedrooms anyway. Works for me!

KEEP YOUR BOAT AFLOAT AND YOUR TREE WATERED

RONCO

My boat is solid with no leaks and my "Tree" is well watered and beginning to bloom......slowly.

ALL

Since many of the other Mil.com Forums have their "Babe of the Day," I was wondering if we should start our own thread with one. Of course, all pics would be in good taste without ANY nudity and for the gals, they can post their "Guy of the Day." Is anyone for this or not?

A pic of a B-17 from an airshow that I "smuggled" out from another Forum:



Is that the "H" or the "G" version?

SHE'S BEAUTIFUL, VET!!

RONCO

Uhhhhhhh...which one? The "Cubs, Yankees" girls or the B-17?

I have seen a lot over the past 70 years but I fail to see why the Post Office needs to advertise, support a bike rider who only rides in France, flies in a private jet and makes $14 million per year. All this on taxpayers money. I have mailed letters in countries that didn't have electricity but knew what a Post Office was.

Catherine Bell from JAG

You hear about the 15 year old girl standing before the Family Court Judge as he was making his ruling?

Judge- Young lady, I've decided that you're going to go home and live with your mother.

Girl- No way!

Judge, a bit astonished- Why not?

Girl- My mother beats me up.

Judge- Well, in light of the new evidence I ammend my decision. You'll live with your father.

Girl- He beats me too.

Judge- Well who the heck do I let you go and live with?

Girl ponders for a moment and says- Let me live with The New York Mets. They never beat nobody.

Kevin

You can substitute my YANKEES for the Mets.

My Man-o-the-Day:



"Our Country won't go on forever, if we stay soft as we are now. There won't
be any AMERICA because some foreign soldiery will invade us and take our
women and breed a hardier race!"
-Lt. Gen. Lewis B. "Chesty" Puller, USMC

Joke time:

You hear about that kid with the spiked hair? ( blue hair, green hair, orange, purple) I found myself staring him down, because I hate his guts. But he turned out to be very polite and said, "Pardon me sir, but just think back-no matter how long ago it was for you-when you were my age. Didn't you ever do anything wild, defiant, just to break chops?"

I had to respond-"Yea kid, when I was your age I was in my second tour in Nam and I got really drunk one night and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you was my long lost son."

Kevin

That was rich!

It was the first day of school and a new student named Pedro Martinez, the son of a Mexican restaurateur, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, "Let's begin by re viewing some Americanhistory. "Who said 'Give me Liberty, or give me Death?'"

She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Pedro, who had his hand up.

"Patrick Henry, 1775."

"Very good!" apprised the teacher. "Now, who said, "Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth?"

Again, no response except from Pedro: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."

The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed! Pedro, who is new to our country, knows more about it's history than you do!"

She heard a loud whisper: "Screw the Mexicans!"

"Who said that?" she demanded.

Pedro put his hand up. "Jim Bowie, 1836."

At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm gonna puke."

The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Now, who said that?"

Again, Pedro. "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."

Now furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"

Pedro jumped out of his chair waving his hand and shouting to the teacher, "Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"

Now, with almost a mob hysteria, someone said, "You little sh*t. If you say anything else, I'll kill you!"

Pedro frantically yelled at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."

The teacher fainted, and as the class gathered around her on the floor, someone said, "Oh sh*t, we're in BIG trouble now!"

Pedro whispered, "Saddam Hussein, 2003."

SAY GOODNITE, GEORGE

Vet

I actually thought it was going to be a Little Johnny joke, at first. Funny stuff, none the less.