Note: shamelessly stolen from those great folks at the goatlocker

MEMO
From: Wardroom
To: Chief Petty Officers
Subject: Sensitivity Training.

It has been brought to the Department Head's attention that some Chief
Petty Officers throughout the command have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their Division Officers.
Due to complaints received from some Division Officers who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with Officers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided from
the Officer wardroom so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late.

INSTEAD OF: And when the f??k do you expect me to do this?


TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible.

INSTEAD OF: No f??king way.


TRY SAYING: Really?

INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh*tting me!


TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with...

INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh*t.


TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project.

INSTEAD OF: It's not my f??king problem.


TRY SAYING: That's interesting.

INSTEAD OF: What the f??k?


TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented.

INSTEAD OF: This sh*t won't work.


TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that.

INSTEAD OF: Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?


TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues.

INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a$$.


TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir?

INSTEAD OF: Eat sh*t and die.


TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it?

INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a$$.


TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.

INSTEAD OF: f??k it, I'm on salary.


TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand.

INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a$$.


TRY SAYING: I love a challenge.

INSTEAD OF: This job sucks.


TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that?

INSTEAD OF: Who the hell died and made you boss?


TRY SAYING: I see.

INSTEAD OF: Blow me.


TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive.

INSTEAD OF: He's a prick.


TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter.

INSTEAD OF: She's a ball-busting b#^$%$.


TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training.

INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f??k you're doing.


Thank You for your assistance in this matter, with a little work we

can all communicate with each other more effectively.

Thats some funny shat right there..

That's been around for a while in a couple different formats....still funny though.

Looks like those Chiefs that I left the Navy to need to Train their Officers better. That is all.

Kind of reminds me of one of our JG's on USS LASTSHIP that tried to grow a mustache. We told him to rub some butter on his lip and let the cat lick it off...

Good stuff... I'm going to have to pass this around my office.