I have a problem. Saturday my wife and i have to go to the recruiters office to sign more paper work before i can join. Monday i retake the asvab i need a 50 and above i scored a 49 because i'm joinnig with a waiver, then tuesday if all goes well im signing my contract. Now my problem is my wife and i are having problems and we want to get divorced. what would be the best thing to do now in my situation to leave her ass now b4 i join or after? i wanna know because i'm sick of this ***** and ready to leave her ass she won't even answer my phone calls so now how am i suppose to take her to the recruiters office to fill out paper work..I'm stressed out enough with everything else going on and need some guidance please some one help me.

Wifey blues Son? Ha ha ha man oh man they can sure mess up a good thing can't they? Alright Hortiz, let's slow down and sort this out.

First off you're not going to get very far full of anger and frustration so take a minute, take a few deep breaths and relax. It's the cool head which always prevails and you're going to need one to get though this. Boot camp ain't no joke and it's even worse with a woman playing with your mind.

Depending on your situation, if you handle this correctly you walk away a free man. Consequently if you handle this badly she gets half your paycheck. So let's start at the beginning to see what we're working with.

How old are you both?
How long have you been married?
Are there children involved?
What state are you in?

In one sentence or less, why are you divorcing? Is she angry with you over another woman, you couldn't get along, she was with another guy, etc.? This isn't trying to get into your business, just trying to sort this out to better understand why she won't support you in this by refusing to go to the RSS with you.

Now, instead of locking horns with your wife where you're both fussing and fighting all the time, how about taking a non emotional reasonable tone with her no matter what she says or does? If you stay consistent and don't allow yourself to become drawn into any fighting with her, you'll have a clear mind to think all of this through and you won't get burned nearly as bad as you will if you lose it.

well first off i'm 26, we've been married for 4 years now and we have 2 kids, I live in Florida. She thinks its not working out anymore but i'm starting to think the same now. theres no one else involved its just well it started to go down hill when i lost my job, then we had to move in with her parents. I don't get along too well with her parents to well and when i **** up she seems to take their side on things so i guess thats ****ed. She wanted to divorce me when i told her i wanted to join the military but then told her she knew i've been interested in doing so for years now and shes been kinda supported. Then the Army denied me the waiver for asthma which i don't have ......long story there and now i've been approved by the marines and really feel like this is my destiny,like it was meant to happen and she just keeps on telling me its not going to work out "just like the army" she says. So i don't really know where to go from here but things are going to be moving along pretty fast within the next few months. Thank you for your responce by the way i really appreciate it believe it or not. But i'm not too depressed about leaving her, theres plenty of fish in the sea and the marines cover alot of it right??? lol the kids part is probly whats gonna hurt the most.

Your not able to enlist while there is pending legal issues. Those need to be resolved first. Then you run into problems with being a single parent after the divorce. There is nothing wrong with holding out and letting the divorce be started after boot camp (assuming you and her are able to work something out privetly for that). As Deano brought up, she will get a big chunk of your tiny check for support. But even if this is straightend out prior to enlisting, she would still get it.
The kids part is hard, but managable. Even if you two work it out and stay, you will most likely not see them much due to deployments, training, school etc... Keeping that in mind for me after my divorce made it a lot easier.


Also, Marines is always capitalized. Not doing so is a sure fire way to offend.

So let’s break it down to what’s really going on here. You’re getting beered up with the fellas while mommas at work and you’re staying out later and later because they understand you and you’re fed up with all the BS you’re hearing from your wife and her folks. Now that everyone is coming at you, you feel like you’re in so deep that your best option is enlisting in the military “to help turn my life around so I can make something of myself.”

Ha ha ha ha ha I know you’re hatin’ life right now ha ha ha ha ha. Like so many of us around here, I’ve been there done that myself! You ain’t the first and won’t be the last. It’s all part of learning how to be a man.

Naw Dude, you ain’t broke and there’s nothing to fix. You’re just another man who got married way too young and had children way before you were ready. You still haven’t found or lived you yet so how can you give others what you haven’t learned?

Big Dog, why do you think the Army turned you down for something you don’t have and the Corps opened up to you so easily? You’re instincts are right, your true destiny.

These feelings of restlessness and wanting to do something greater than yourself have been eating away at your for awhile, haven’t they? You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re bored and sick of looking at the same old things day after day. You want excitement in your everyday life where every fiber of your being is challenged to the max and you know you’ve actually done something useful.

Brah, the heart of a man, especially a Warrior, can never be chained by a woman or even by our own children if we want them too. We’ve got to be true to ourselves and live our own destiny otherwise we’re no good to anyone around us, especially ourselves. So no matter what your wife says or which buttons she pushes to provoke whatever responses she wants out of you, do what YOU know YOU have to do in order to live the life YOU know YOU are destined to live. Otherwise you’ll end up bitter and resentful towards youself and her for not being the man you know you are meant to be.

The question now is how serious are you? Are you willing to put everything, and I mean everything, aside in order to become the real you that is trying to emerge? You obviously love your children with all of your heart. Are you willing to give them up for awhile while you pursue your inner you? Are you willing to allow nothing, and I mean nothing, to stop you from achieving your goal of becoming a Marine?

This brings up the fundamental question which ultimately decides whether you make it through boot camp or not. Are you enlisting to serve your Country and take whatever comes your way, or are you enlisting simply just to run away from a bad situation? One way or another, your ultimate decision will change your life forever so be darned sure you make the right one for you. Take your family in consideration to be sure, but make the decision based on your needs as a human being, not what others expect or want from you.

If you do decide to enlist after answering these questions, think long and hard about trying out for Marine Infantry because you’re a natural born Grunt if I ever saw one. But once again, it all comes down to how bad you want it. It’s already in you. Question now is what are you going to do with it?

If you’re totally locked on and completely serious, I’ll help you and your family prepare for what’s coming. If not, no harm no foul as it’s all part of our human growth experience. Either way I respect you Big Dog.

Best of luck in whatever you choose.