(I wrote this for a Wannabe with a Wife but it goes for Wannabes with a Husband as well.)

http://marinewives.com/

Marine Wives is an excellent resource because theres a lot more involved than just getting your wife and children registered into DEERS (dependent computer program) for benefits. She'll have to address some type of housing, schools for the Kids, commissary/food shopping, setting up in new places from scrath and a heck of a lot more.

Being a military spouse is no easy task so we tend to stick together, share what works/what doesn't and generally help each other out in anyway we can. Spouse websites help facilitate our process because we don't have the chain of command you do so we're pretty much left to our own resourcefulness.

1. Be very proactive and handle things before they come up or she'll get buried in details at critical moments when she won't have a lot of time.

2. Always always always take whatever supporting documentation she needs whenever she goes to get anything done officially or she'll have to reschedule and still bring it anyway. Saves a lot of time and grief.

3. Call ahead to make sure she knows what she's supposed to bring so she doesn't fall into the trap of No. 2 written above.

4. Deal with military members whenever possible because a lot of DOD civilians, especially women, have never served so they're generally part of the "no" or "can't do it" crowd. If they say "no" then Wifey asks if they're a vet. If they say yes then she has room to maneuver but if not she should still pitch them but generally its a waste of time. No harm in trying because thats her job anyway.

5. Always live off base because you'll receive a basic allowance for housing (BAH) based on the geographical area you're living in. If the BAH is 1600, then you rent a place for 1200 and pocket the rest which you'll use for household utility bills, etc. It'll also offset your basic allowance for subsistence (BAS-food allowance) since you have kids who''ll eat you out of house and home anyway.

6. She should also find the base personal ad bulletin board where you'll find everything from household goods to houses, cars, etc. because someone is always leaving or getting a divorce. Great deals on good stuff which will save you a ton of money. In fact, if you stay in you'll advertise things too because you simply won't want to take everything when you PCS (transfer) or get out.

7. Don't buy a super fancy car because you'll need two reliable ones for you to get to work and her to get the kids to school and her own job too. Plus you don't want to be eating ramen noodles from payday to payday because you're "fancy car broke" and you'll be surprised to see how much this happens and how it drives people crazy.

8. Biggest thing she has to do is establish her own life and identify separate from you or she'll be just another lost wife living in her husband's shawdow. How can she be a truly effective military wife if she's always feeling insecure and needing you when you won't always be around? You even read in the Spouses Forum here where wives are questioning whether they should go to a command function her husband's unit is putting on while he's away. It's infinitely better for her friends to come over with their kids for an afternoon barbeque or multi family saturday nite movie fest/sleep over where they all help her help your children to forget their separation from you anxieties by having fun filled family oriented events.

9. Trust her by being mature and encouraging her to go out with her friends. This always pays off big time when you're gone because you won't worry about where she is or what she's doing because you'll know who shes with and are confident they've got her best interests at heart. True friends will help her when she needs it and will be rock solid with you too because they'll want to see you succeed.

1O. Always be prepared for instant changes. The Baby and I had just arrived in California and were three days into the setting up process when we received Wifey's call from Iraq telling us to hold fast because we might be going to Virginia instead. Weird feeling standing on a beach with a nine year old not knowing where you're going to be living and wondering how you're going to undo everything you've just done. Ha ha ha, hey, it goes with the territory and keeps life interesting to say the least! Your wife and kids have to have a sense of humor and adventure because everything you do affects everything they do.

This is pretty much the basics of the military family/spouse's life. If you have any more questions drop me an email and I'll be only to happy to help in anyway that I can.

Devil Dawg and proud Navy Husband to the end! Ur-RAH!!!!!

Semper Fi/Go Navy!
Dino

BAS(food allowance) is for the military member who resides off base or is otherwise authorized seperate rations. It is not for dependents.