Hello,

I hope this is the right place to post - if it isn't, will someone please let me know?

My name is Pam and my 18 year old son is in the process of enlisting. I've been reading all the posts on this board for a couple of weeks and it has really helped.

I am so incredibly proud of my son, but so incredibly scared. Can't eat, can't sleep, etc. Is anyone else going through the same emotional roller coaster?

I've promised him that he has my support in anything he chooses to do - I can't let him see me cry.

He will be going to MEPS next week and plans on selecting 11b Infantry.

Hi Pam,
My husband is presently deployed and although it is a little different than having a son deployed, I think there may be things that are very similiar. Emotions do go up and down. Some days are easier than others. It helps to talk to others who are in similiar situations. Your son is lucky to have a supportive mother who cares about him. That will go a long way!

Moving to Parents of Military at Noon EST

quote:

Originally posted by 13937137:
Hello,

I hope this is the right place to post - if it isn't, will someone please let me know?

My name is Pam and my 18 year old son is in the process of enlisting. I've been reading all the posts on this board for a couple of weeks and it has really helped.

I am so incredibly proud of my son, but so incredibly scared. Can't eat, can't sleep, etc. Is anyone else going through the same emotional roller coaster?
I've promised him that he has my support in anything he chooses to do - I can't let him see me cry.

He will be going to MEPS next week and plans on selecting 11b Infantry.

Pam, you are not alone. Two years ago, my son (then 18) went off to Parris Island for his Marine Corps training. There I was, a 42 yr old father who had served six years in the Coast Guard and 17 yrs as a federal officer. Yet, while he was there, I lost my appetite along with 20 lbs which wasn't a bad thing. I went through some serious insomnia.

His graduation was in Sept of '06 and suddenly, it all cleared up...and yes, those 20 lbs came back.

Keep coming in here, reading and posting. We're all in this together.

Don
Proud father of a US Marine Corporal, AAV's

Hi Pam. It's great that you are supportive of your son's decision. We all go through the emotional roller coaster whether it be a son, daughter, husband, wife, mom, dad, etc. It's not easy but we have each other to give support.

I go through that emotional roller coaster every time my husband has orders for a mission overseas in a danger area whether it be for a week, month, year.

There is a support group for military moms. It is called Blue Star Mothers of America. Just google their name and you'll find their website. Great group of people. I had them speak at a Family Day when my husband was deployed. They are very supportive of parents. (They also have Blue Star Fathers.)

Hang around here and you will also meet up with many military moms.

Welcome!

Thanks so much everyone!
And I will check out the Blue Star Mothers of America.

Don, if I lose 20 lbs. can I send them to you? I don't want them back

I guess I'm stuck with that awful feeling for a while day in and day out - that nervous, I'm gonna throw up feeling like when a cop pulls you over for speeding.

I'm also running interference for my son in the family. My dad served in the USMC - signed up and went to Korea, got out and joined the army and went back to Korea. He keeps coming up w/ a million reasons why his only grandson shouldn't join (I think it's fear).

Anyway - my stock answer to all their carryings on is : "I spent the last 18 years raising him and protecting him - that job is over. Now my role is to support him". I've been repeating that mantra over and over again.

Thanks again,

Pam

quote:

Anyway - my stock answer to all their carryings on is : "I spent the last 18 years raising him and protecting him - that job is over. Now my role is to support him". I've been repeating that mantra over and over again.

That's what we Mom's do! Sometimes it's hard to support them doing something that scares the *ell out of you, but we do it.

I never lost a pound! I've had to up my stomach meds and I looked like crap from no sleep, but I managed to hang on to my 20 lbs. Oh yeah, I found myself wanting to strangle my own Mother once. My best therapy is scrapbooking all his pictures and putting together things to send.

quote:

Originally posted by 13937137:
Thanks so much everyone!
Don, if I lose 20 lbs. can I send them to you? I don't want them back
I guess I'm stuck with that awful feeling for a while day in and day out - that nervous, I'm gonna throw up feeling like when a cop pulls you over for speeding.
I'm also running interference for my son in the family. My dad served in the USMC - signed up and went to Korea, got out and joined the army and went back to Korea. He keeps coming up w/ a million reasons why his only grandson shouldn't join (I think it's fear).

Anyway - my stock answer to all their carryings on is : "I spent the last 18 years raising him and protecting him - that job is over. Now my role is to support him". I've been repeating that mantra over and over again.
Thanks again,
Pam

Hello Pam! Welcome to the wonderful world of military parenthood! I say that tounge-in-cheek, as I have only been a military parent for 6 months.

I totally understand the hyper-anxious state you are in right now. Cop pulling you over is a really good way to describe it! For me, it is a "chicken little" type feeling that the sky is falling. Good thing is I know it is not! LOL! Otherwise, I'd be certifiable

I think Don sent me five of his lost pounds. I actually gained weight this summer while my 17-year-old daughter was at basic training. I turned to food, TV, books, and the Internet to get through it...no exercise.

My daughter Kayla's grandfather also served during the Korean war (not in Korea...was in Panama). However, her grandparents were totally against her joining the Army National Guard. Plus, lots of others seemed so freaked out about it when we told them that is what she is doing. "Oh my, that's too bad! Aren't you afraid she will have to go to Iraq?" While all the time I am so proud of her I want to shout to the world "My daughter is joining the military...so proud of her!!!" What is the point of joining if you don't want to do the job???

People are kind of insensitive sometimes. They will get over it. Kayla's grandma was one of her staunchest letter-writing/care package-sending people while in Basic (second to mom of course!), and sent us money to re-do her room while she was gone.

Anyway, sorry to go on and on! You might want to check out a thread on the boot camp board called "letter from reception". I sort of accidentally started this thread when my daughter first got to basic in June, and it grew into a "monster". Lots of parents on there, some are relatively new with kids in basic right now. Be prepared to read for a couple of hours...it is about 30 pages long at this point. The link is

http://forums.military.com/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/2681962206/m/7090015781001

Also, didn't get whether your son is Army, but there is a great parent board at "go army parents dot com". Take out the spaces and don't spell out "dot"...you get the drift...
Look for the link to the forums on the upper right hand side of the main page and then click on the basic training board.

Best to you and your son during the next few weeks! Feel free to ask any questions you may have.

Kayla's mom

Gosh you folks are great!

Dustin is joining the Army.
Right now he's in an awful state of limbo - it's driving him out of his mind. His recruiter told him he'd be going to MEPS - was supposed to leave on thurs. get dropped off in a hotel so he could be at MEPS on Fri. Well.... it never happened. He had Lasek done on his eyes this past spring and they are processing his medical waiver.. blah, blah, blah.

It wouldn't be so bad if they would let him know what is going on. He is working full time and needs to ask for the time off work and he just can't seem to get a straight answer out of the SSGT.


So, now it looks like he'll be going to MEPS sometime this week. He just wants to hurry up and get it done already.

Thanks for the link Kayla's mom - I've already read through it (yes, it took a while!) I think I've read virtually every thread on this whole forum - whether it applied to our situation or not.

Thanks again everyone - it's really nice to know there is somewhere I can run to when it all gets overwhelming.

Pam

Hi Pam,

My name is Debbie and my son, Kyle, just left last week for Ft. Benning, Georgia to start basics. I,too, am on that same roller coaster, although I am now able to talk about Kyle/army without tears welling up in my eyes.........one baby step forward!
His recruiter called us three seperate days and would say to be ready in "x amount of hours, your leaving for MEPS". Then he'd call back and say, "nevermind, not today. But be ready tomorrow." Kyle's, too, was medical hangups. That certainly doesn't help an already emotional time. So I do feel for you and your son. Now Kyle is in processing in Georgia anxiously waiting to begin basics. I have received TWO letters from him, yes, two!!. One Wednesday and one today. I cried like a baby through the first one but was able to be a big girl through the letter today!! Another step forward.....

In his letter he said he was at the end of processing so he hoped to start basics yesterday or today. Until he 'moves down range', he won't have a permanant address where we can write him back. He sounds excited to get things going and has already seen and heard some crazy stories.

I will say that I went to a funeral yesterday of a family friend and he received full military honors. Guns fired, trumpet played, flag given to his widow, etc. I looked at those soldiers in a way I'd never done before..............

Anyway, it sounds like my son will be just a few weeks ahead of your son in basics so maybe we can share stories and help each other out. I'd like that! Where will your son be going for basics?

Debbie

Hi Debbie,

I've been reading about you and Kyle in some of the other threads. My son Dustin will be headed for Benning as well.

I just woke up, it's Sunday morning, the coffee's on and already I'm crying. This is insane! All because of the funeral you mentioned. I still can't talk/think about it all w/o the waterworks starting.

Have you read through Infantry OSUT - 14 week journal of a young man going through at Bennning? It really answered a lot of questions for me.

I'll be keeping you and Kyle in my prayers.

Pam

Hi Pam,

Kyle called this morning. (If thats what you want to call it). Apparently they only get 3 minutes to call and it takes the first 2 minutes to get through using the calling card. Try and prepare your son for the fact that they will be treated "like crap" and "nothing, because were just privates" according to Kyle. Sounds like even in processing they are yelled at constantly and nothing you do is correct. He said in one letter that there are recruits that have to wear red vests because they can't take it and are under 24 hour watch, can't have shoe laces, etc.... I understand the part about how the military has to break you in order to make you a soldier/man. Kyle undserstands that, too, but as a mom it's hard to know your 'precious firstborn' is being treated so badly. It's all headgames right now. Kyle knew this going in, though, so I think he is dong okay. He was able to tell me in our very short conversation that he will actually get to 'move downrange' (impressive, huh?)on Thursday. He is anxious for the first 3 weeks of basics because that's when the real breaking down begins but he also knows that he needs to get through that so he can start to earn the respect of his drill sgts. and move up the food chain a little, so to speak. He also made it clear again the letters are so important so once I get his address so we can write, I'm going to make sure everyone and there mothers are writing him Anyway, just tell your son to prepare his head just as much as he is preparing his body.

I have not read the journal your talking about, but I will. Have you gone to Soldiers chapel. Someone told me about it. They posts pic's of processing, bootcamp, graduatuon, etc. from Ft. Benning.

I hope your morning gets better. I did well while talking to Kyle and managed to keep it together afterwards. Although I can only do that for a short while then something will be said or done and then I'll lose it but I need to go teach my preschool Sunday School class and they don't need a basketcase teacher!

Where are you from? Our time zones are pretty close. I'm in Oregon.

I'll talk to you soon,

Debbie

Hi Debbie,

I'm so glad you got to talk to Kyle - even if it was only for a minute. Take what you can get, right?

We're in Pennsylvania.

My morning's better - I told my sister about reading about the funeral and bursting into tears. She just doesn't understand, she never had children. She said "well.. it's like sending him off for his first day of kindergarten". Uh..no, it's not. I was pretty sure on that first day of K'garten that no one was going to try to KILL him.

Best wishes to Kyle for an easy first 3 weeks of Basic!

Pam
(the Mom who isn't crying at the moment! Hooray! LOL)

Pam,

Yea, no tears right now!!!! Good job, Pam!!!!!

So I guess I was way off on the time zone thing. Oregon couldn't be farther away!

I did okay through church and then BAM! my friends asked me if I'd heard from Kyle yet and I was telling them about the letters and phone calls. I made it through the first few minutes of the conversation, then here come the tears. It's okay because they'll cry with me I'm sure this too shall pass.

Kindergarten/Army??? hmm........yea, not the same.

You have a great day.
Debbie

Hi Debbie,

I was thinking about you this morning, wondering if Kyle will be able to call you because of it being a holiday.

Dustin told me last night that he hopes he goes on the 15th. The waiting is driving him out of his mind. He should go to MEPS sometime this week and that will finally get the ball rolling.

I'm now being bombarded with questions that I don't have answers to. After about the 4th or 5th one I start to blow up. It's like the stress level is right up to here and anyone that adds on the top of it risks getting their head chewed off.. grrr! lol

Like:

Where will he go after OSUT? I don't know.
How often will he call home? I don't know.
How often can he come home? I don't know.

And the list goes on and on......

The same people keep asking me the same questions every other day. Like I found my crystal ball and now have answers I wish...

Oh, and I'm 3 lbs. down - I think maybe I can use this to my advantage lol.

Happy Labor Day!

Pam
no tears yet today, woohoo!

I'm here to tell you, the worry never stops. My son is stationed in Biloxi, MS. He's never been through a hurricane before and is not allowed to evac the base. He's liking all the excitement and I'm not so much. I'm on the phone telling him what to watch out for and he's telling me, "Mom the weather doesn't stop what I do". Yeah right. "If someone needs help I will be out in it". Great. Time for Mom to concentrate on other things today. I've watched enough weather channel to destroy several hundred brain cells. He will be fine. My best advice to all of you, try not to invent things to worry about. The maternal brain is just wired that way and it's hard to control it. I am most definitly a "work in progress". Still.

Have a great Labor Day!

That is too funny about the repeated questions being asked non-stop. I get that, as well, but mostly from my mom and it's driving me crazy.
She says,"If you hear from Kyle, will you let me know?" I say yes.
When you hear from Kyle will you let me know? yes.
when you hear from......YES!!!!!!!!!YES!!!!!
Then it's "when you talk to him ask what he wants for his b-day (he turns 22 9/26),cookies, $, what can I send him. Do you have an address? I feel bad him being there for his b-day and holidays. How's he doing? Ask him this...Ask him that.......When you hear from Kyle will you let me know? It just makes me sad."
WHAT? HELLO???
I kind of lost it with her and exlpained that the few seconds I get to talk to him ARE NOT going to be spent asking him HER questions just so she can feel better.

I know what you mean about your stress level being on overload. My poor, poor children I have a 20 year old son that recently moved back home. Enough said there. Then I have a 17 year old son that will be a senior. Then a soon to be 13 year old daughter. They all need to just paste on there happy faces until I get off this roller coaster ride kidding. I know it's hard on them, too. Actually, I do feel so much better in just a week. I know I will always be on a roller coaster (til Kyle comes home) but hopefully it's one of those kind you see at kiddy parks and not the one I was on last week that you see at Disneyland. Ha
I wasn't enjoying Disneyland!. I hope your able to go to the kiddy park soon

The waiting is definately the hardest part right now. For Kyle, too. He wants to get in and get basics going. And I want that permanant address so I can write.

I was reading about Ft. Sam and the AIT/medic 68w training there and some people gave a not so good light on that fort. Party fort, 19 yr. olds coming back on weekends drunk, etc.

Does anyone out there have any info. on Ft. Sam? Good or bad. Also some were talking about Bravo, Delta, Foxtrot, etc. (of which I don't understand) and they said your experience at Ft. Sam depends greatly on which of those you get in to. Help?

Pam, congrats on the 3 pounds!! Oh, and when you do find your crystal ball, can I be the first to know?

Have a great day

Debbie

quote:

Posted Mon 01 September 2008 09:23 AM Hide Post
I'm here to tell you, the worry never stops. My son is stationed in Biloxi, MS. He's never been through a hurricane before and is not allowed to evac the base. He's liking all the excitement and I'm not so much. I'm on the phone telling him what to watch out for and he's telling me, "Mom the weather doesn't stop what I do". Yeah right. "If someone needs help I will be out in it". Great. Time for Mom to concentrate on other things today. I've watched enough weather channel to destroy several hundred brain cells. He will be fine. My best advice to all of you, try not to invent things to worry about. The maternal brain is just wired that way and it's hard to control it. I am most definitly a "work in progress". Still.

Have a great Labor Day!

Yikes!

Keep us updated - I'm sure he'll be absolutely fine, but I know I'd be worrying too.

Best wishes!

Pam

Debbie,

Hooray! I'm not alone w/ the questions! Oh how misery loves company lol

They are seriously getting on my last nerve.

I've been really concerned about the alcohol as well. From what I've read, it seems that Infantry guys drink heavy and I worry about that. I know I'm driving Dustin nuts, but I keep reminding him of all the harm that stems from alcohol use/abuse. Like: Hypothetically, if you took 100 soldiers that have gotten busted down in rank/pay, etc. due to behavior, how many of that 100 do you think were alcohol related? - He keeps assuring me that he has no intention whatsoever of doing anything, blah, blah blah... He's starting to roll his eyes at me every time I bring it up.

Dustin is my only one. He's also the only grandchild, nephew, etc. in the whole family. I wish they all had someone else to focus on right now. My Dad just left and he thinks I should be trying hard to redirect Dustin to join the Coast Guard. I know it's just fear - he thinks his only grandchild will be much safer in the Coast Guard than Army Infantry.

I told him that Dustin does not want to join the CG - he's made his decision on what he wants to do and that's his choice. I finally (for about the 12th time) asked him "What do you want me to do? Ground him?" LOL

Off to find some busy work!

Pam

Hi-

I have to face the facts-my son is soon to be 22. He really is an adult now and can make his own choices (hate that part) but one main reason he joined is for the schooling as well as to gain the strength to walk away from poor choices he's made in the past. Nothing really bad, just unwise choices that had him not progressing forward. Of coarse if he just would of listened to Mom......

Anyway, I just don't want any stupid people making things harder for the ones that really want to stay focused and do well at AIT. One messes up and they all suffer kind of thing. Hopefully, Kyle will stay focused.