Hello every1, well it happened. The last letter I received from my son wasn't actually for me allthough it was addressed to me it contained to letters for his Aunt and Uncle on his Dad's side of the family. I knew it was clearly a mistake on his part because he knows their address like the back of his hand and I did forward the letters along to them but I couldn't help but read the first... I get SO excited getting any and ALL news from my son I wanted something to read... well, I regretted it after the fact because in his letter to his Uncle he tells him how he and his buddies are planning to "party hearty" during their first real break off base you fill in the blanks as to the varied activities he mentioned. Now this news is devastating to me to hear because my son has been dry now for about 14 months before enlisting and he told me he was committed to not drink anymore because it does nothing but cause him problems! I am very concerned that the "comraderie" of boot camp may be his downfall and then what? I've decided to write him and go ahead and broach this subject with him and give him some motherly advice. For those of you who have had or have loved ones whom have had drinking problems you will really understand my concern about this! Any other reflections on this would be helpful.
I would approach it from a "military" view. So many get in trouble after boot camp letting wild. Articlle 15's and such drinking and driving, being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Is it worth all he just went threw to loose it all. I hope it works out.
I say tread lightly in this area. If you want to bring up drinking, I suggest you just do this in a way to suggest that you have learned through another source that sometimes boot camp graduates drink too much and you want to remind him of how much better he does when he does not drink.
If you jump into this to give motherly advice based on the letters, I imagine that you will get just the opposite reaction that you expect. First off, you will be revealing that you breached his personal privacy by reading letters not addressed to you. Secondly, he will resent your intrusion into the "manly" plans that he was discussing with his uncle, particularly since this was based on the first issue.
While he was in Iraq, I did read occasionally read my son's emails, particularly when I had not heard from him in a while. Although I didn't necessarily agree with everything he was stating, I never did and never will bring up to him the contents of those emails or that I even read them. I was concerned about him and wanted to hear from him but I am not about to discuss issues that he did not bring up with me. From that point of view, I certainly understand you reading your son's letters (and that may have been his intent by sending them to you) but you really cannot reveal to him this invasion of privacy. On top of that, you invaded his uncle's privacy by reading a letter that was not addressed to you.
Now for the good part -- His first real break off base will be with you in tow. This will occur on Family Day if he is in OSUT or graduation from BCT if he has follow on AIT. For Family Day, he will be told that he cannot drink, drive or use drugs. He will take a urine test when he gets back to the base. Those who violate their orders (and these are orders, not suggestions) suffer the consequences. With BCT and follow on AIT, he may have a little more time if he has to change duty stations for AIT, but very little. You will still be there and can reinforce his non-drinking status.
As a Mom and fellow worrier, I feel your pain. Before my son even graduated BMT I felt the urge to ask him, "Just what happens if someone gets caught, lets say, public intox? Or fighting? Or fooling around with a female in BMT? I really did want to know what the SOP was for these sort of infractions. He just rolls his eyes and states the facts. Good, at least he has divulged to his Mother that he did indeed possess the knowledge of the conscequences of such actions. Then I go on with a gleam in my eye, "anyone stupid enough to try anything"? Knowing that I am such a worry wart the little heathen pranked me this week using a friend for the "front man" on the phone. "Mrs. *****, it seems your son was found running in the middle of the road naked". It goes on and on but let's just say it sounded REAL. I was close to tears and I'm not one to cry. My mind was a buzz with the burning question of "was alcohol involved"? The gig was up when I asked if I could speak with my son. The bad words started flying and suffice it to say I needed a drink and he'd better never do that to me again! When he sounded sad that I fell for it, I just said to him; Alcohol can make intelligent people do extremely stupid things just make sure you remember that! When he comes home on leave in a few months he'd better sleep with one eye open....
Hi! I really appreciate your replies, there is a lot of sound sensible advice in them thank you! And OFKev-Mom, you help me laugh LOL that was a lowwwwwwww prank your son played WHOO HOO I'd be jumping too!! Well, I actually got to speak with my son YESTERDAY!!! He was able to get a pass and call me. I asked him if he had written me and he said he thought he had. I explained to him that allthough I had received an envelope from him it contained letters for his Aunt and Uncle. I went on and told him that out of my excitement to hear anything about him that I had read the letters and I read something he probably didn't want me to. He was not upset he just said, "Mabe" and I continued with my concerns that he may get into drinking which can only brings problems for him. Well he told me he's not primarily concerned with that right now but rather or not he will pass TODAYS PT TEST since he did not pass the last one. He said if he doesn't pass this one TODAY he thinks they're going to push him back to Phase 1. Does anyone know about this? I asked him if he thought his buddies whom had passed the PT TEST had done anything differntly than him and he just said they're just faster. He also said that he gets short of breath. Now this concerns me more since he had smoked before enlisting at which point he laid those nasties aside, thank God~ I asked him if he had consulted with a DR but he doesn't see the need. Please help us pray he passes this PT TEST TODAY!! many thanks
If someone is unable to pass a PT test at one of the designated checkpoints, and they are really trying, sometimes they will get cycled back into the previous phase to give them the chance to get in better physical condition. If this does happen (hopefully it won't), he will just be delayed for a couple of weeks. It's not a huge deal at this point and happens quite regularly.
Now this concerns me more since he had smoked before enlisting at which point he laid those nasties aside,
How long before he left for basic did he give up the cigs? If he just recently stopped it may take awhile for him to get his lungs back into shape. Keeping in mind most of those who quit don't start a punishing regiment of PT right away. Most I've ever seen just get nasty and gain weight! I've never smoked...anything so my issues are not related to cigs. LOL Going through basic in the summer has to be tough. IMO most of the guys/gals going through basic are not in excellent physical condition when they get there. But they sure are when they leave! Let him know that even if he does get held back not to let that get him down. He's doing something that 80% of the US population couldn't do without some SERIOUS conditioning. Me included!
you fill in the blanks as to the varied activities he mentioned. Now this news is devastating to me to hear because my son has been dry now for about 14 months before enlisting and he told me he was committed to not drink anymore because it does nothing but cause him problems! I am very concerned that the "comraderie" of boot camp may be his downfall and then what? I've decided to write him and go ahead and broach this subject with him and give him some motherly advice. For those of you who have had or have loved ones whom have had drinking problems you will really understand my concern about this! Any other reflections on this would be helpful.
