Hi all,
I'm posting here today for support. My son (married with two kids) is deploying. I am very proud of him for his decision to join the Army and proud of how he has succeeded thru boot camp and AIT. I knew he was deploying and know where he is deploying. Overall, a "safe" place and job. But today, it hit me. I am a shaking mess. Tears come at the drop of a hat. Just wanted to know if any of you have been there, done that and could share any reassurances and positive thoughts. I hope you know that I will share back when and if needed anytime.

I am confident my son is capable and not only will do well, but will thrive as he is really looking forward to traveling. My DIL and grandgirls will probably have a harder time and I'll be there to support them every step of the way in whatever way is needed. But I'm having a truly selfish MOM day before all that has to be done. I really thank you for listening and hearing me thus far.
Melanie

I'm sorry.

You're in the right place for support. Lots and lots of Moms and Dads here have been exactly where you are.

It's fine to have a down day. Sometimes the best thing to do is have a good cry, get it all out, and then move on.

It may not hit you all at once either. It tends to come and go sometimes.

Hang in there!



Sgt Mom

Thanks to you both. I couldn't get my husband on the phone and just needed to share how I was feeling at that exact moment. I'm back to my regular self at this point. I've known a couple of months he was deploying; it just hit me today though. Again, thanks for the support and I'll probably be back again.
Melanie

Hi! Been there, done that just a couple days ago!!!! LOL! What helped me the most was remembering he cares alot about the people he's deploying with, and they care about him, too. What helped a lot was advice and comfort I found from kind people on this forum, too. Finally what helped the most was praying, and remembering deep through all of me that LOVE is the basis of all life, even things I may not understand at the time. Love. Keep your heart open and your head high--there is no shame in a mom's tears, no kidding.

Just got a call from the son that he's one of 4 IA - destined for Iraq or Afghanistan or Africa. I was positive on the phone. He was not in a good place. His wife was just moving to where he is and now that's probably not wise. It would be a 9 month deployment. He's navy. Was told that it won't necessarily be in the job he was trained for - strange to me.

I thought Obama was curtailing these destinations.

Son's wife hung up on him when he told her so he called me to get some stability in it all. Now today I have to call the wife to see if I can get her onboard as he doesn't need to go to such destinations with this on his mind or he won't come back.

Any tips will be welcomed.

As an American who lives in Canada - I have no support system but here. I see the Canadian parades of heroes almost weekly. It's sad. My heart goes out to them and its a constant source of concern that my son could be deployed too.

How many deployments does a navy guy get in his 6 year term to such hotbeds? He's done an extended stay in Japan (not a hotbed but takes him away) - now this and when he gets back - if he gets back after the 9 months - he will have his boat out - will that mean he gets flown to his boat after deployment? That means very little time onshore.

I worry that his marriage won't survive this not that I will convey that to him but rather sad.

I always thought he should be a lifer as he has that military attitude but I am rethinking that - not persuading him in anyway but if in his 6 year term he's only had a week here and there with his wife - as strong as I am - not sure I could deal with that.

Now to call her - find out why she hung up on him when he gave her the news and try to get her turned around. <sigh>

quote:

Originally posted by darlah2:
I thought Obama was curtailing these destinations.

If you've noticed since taking office he's changed his tone.

It's not the Army's war, or the Marine's war, it's the counrty's. everyone in every branch is stepping up to do their part in joint ops thus never seen. IA duty is part of that. Many actually vollunteer for IA. Some, after doing IA go "blue to green" and finish out their careers in the Army.

quote:

How many deployments does a navy guy get in his 6 year term to such hotbeds? He's done an extended stay in Japan (not a hotbed but takes him away) - now this and when he gets back - if he gets back after the 9 months - he will have his boat out - will that mean he gets flown to his boat after deployment? That means very little time onshore.

Depends on his rating, what's going on at the time, etc

quote:

I worry that his marriage won't survive this not that I will convey that to him but rather sad.

That's between him and her.

quote:

I always thought he should be a lifer as he has that military attitude but I am rethinking that - not persuading him in anyway but if in his 6 year term he's only had a week here and there with his wife - as strong as I am - not sure I could deal with that.

Again, between him and her and what they can deal with, not what you can deal with. Some survive, some don't. If she's unwilling to deal, or thinks its somehow his fault, chances go down.

Good luck!

quote:

he will have his boat out - will that mean he gets flown to his boat after deployment?

I didn't realize that sub sailors were doing IA. Did he volunteer for this? Or are you confusing boats and ships?

If he is on a boat then he will probably be flown to wherever the boat is.

quote:

Originally posted by mturnb:
I didn't realize that sub sailors were doing IA.

Yup. Had a bunch in Groton and in Kings Bay when we were there. DH vollunteered, but was rejected because he was a nuke on sea duty.

Sorry to hear about sons deployment. And hopefully you turned wifey's head around.
She should know by now its not all peaches
and apples. There will be alot of time apart.
Hence, the lonley sailor saga. Sad, really.
Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of your son and wishing him and his well.

To the American living in Canada. I too am an American living in Canada, and our son will be deploying soon. I understand your frustrations and the feeling of "no support" living here. You feel very isolated, and yes I too feel for the loss of Canadian soldiers, it is tragic and breaks my heart to watch the processions down the highway of heroes, but it's different being around people from your own country and the way that they view things. We are very proud of our country and our son. I just wish there weren't any wars to fight.

Momof - I'm hoping you pop back in here to check the thread. I was just wondering how you are doing.


Sgt Mom

Hi,
I've been doing good and no more meltdowns since son left. He is doing great and has settled in well. I've talked to him a couple fo times and he has access to the computer most every day so can communicate back and forth. He has gotten a combat patch for his time in Saudi and is thriving. We miss him greatly but everything is going as well as it can be with him on the other side of the world. lol

Thanks for checking up on me. I've been meaning to get back in here before now.
Thanks,
Melanie

I'm glad to hear you are doing better with it all. You will have moments, days, what ever where it all hits you. But, you get through it.


Hang in there!


Sgt Mom

I hope and pray things are going better for you. Maybe I will need some tips from you when Myson leaves next month.
chin up