I am angry right now.
I have served, my husband has served, our fathers served before us and we have taken great care to instill a sense of patriotism and a love for God and country into our sons.
Our oldest is currently at Benning in Infantry training with the 2/58th. I had posted earlier regarding his injury but to make a long story short, this kid has talked about nothing else his entire life than serving in the military. He is tough and has excelled throughout his training up to the point he was injured. All the letters we have received have been positive and full of pride at being in the Infantry, and his willingness to deploy. After his injury military doctors told him that he has some deformity in his legs and that they would be discharging him. He was and is devastated by this news. He has begged and pleaded to be allow to continue and has been denied. As it turns out the doctors believe he fractured his leg on a ruck march, but he did not quit, he fractured it worse the next morning while running in PT. That does not sound like a coward to me.
When he went to join the Army he was offered several different jobs, Infantry was not among them. He told the recruiter that he only wanted a combat position, they tried very hard to get him to sign and take the oath under ones of these other jobs, and he walked out telling them it is Infantry or nothing at all. About an hour later we watched him take his oath of service in the US Army as an Infantryman. He is not and has never been a coward. I have watched him stand off against over 30 teens all older than him, in defense of his younger brother. By the time I arrived one teen was on the ground searching for his teeth while my eldest stood off against the other. He was known as a fighter and a defender of the weak all throughout his school years. He has fought in martial arts sparring tournaments since the age of 5, he has three MMA fights and three MMA wins to his credit. He is not a coward.
Now to why I am angry.

We received a very sad letter yesterday, one that would have been hard to read even without the one short sentence that angered us all and broke our hearts. In it he stated how horrible it was to watch his unit go out without him, he had been a squad leader and throughout his training very proud of himself and his unit. He told us how hard it was to turn in his equipment and that in formation he had to stand to the side and could no longer stand with his unit. He told us that his DS’s had shaken his hand and that all his comrades were sorry to see him go and that this at least helped him deal with the situation, knowing that he had their respect as a man. But this is not what has us angry.

At the end of his letter he said the very hardest thing of all was dealing with the DS’s of the other units. He said they often called him broken dick and one even flipped him off and that he could hardly bear their looks of disgust and their treatment. He said that it was hard to not respond and to maintain discipline.

I ask you all; do you think this is proper treatment of a young man who would give anything to be able to continue? One that would march on a fractured leg just to finish the march? One that told us in his letter that there is nothing he would not do in order to stay.
How and why would those who are teaching our young men about Army values and courage so disdain a courageous young man who has lost everything he ever dreamed for? Was he not willing to serve? Was he not willing to die if need be? Does he not at least deserve more respect than that given to those who flee to Canada to avoid such service?

I am appalled at this treatment, I find it dishonorable and detestable, I find it no better than the treatment thrown at our brave soldiers when they returned from Vietnam by the war protesting public, I find it as detestable as the actions of the crazy church that so dishonor the funerals of our fallen dead, I find it as reprehensible as the dishonor shown our Marine recruiters by the city of Berkeley and what really hurts is this treatment was given to my son by the very military that I, my husband and our fathers before us have fought so hard to uphold and defend, the military that we taught him to love and respect and the one that he would have willingly died for.

I'm sorry to hear that your son has encountered a medical problem. Hopefully it will not give him problems as he goes forward.

That being said, this is a condition that precludes him from serving. In no way is the Army stating that he is a coward. They are saying that he cannot remain in the Army because he could just be moving from one area to another in a fire fight and have his leg break again. That would then endanger his life and the lifes of those around him as they try to rescue him.

As to the comments made by the other drill sergeants, they were obviously responding to appearance without knowing the facts. Had they known that he had broken his leg on a march and was being discharged, they most likely would have said nothing.

The military can be a harsh bunch. The people standing on the side of formation are referred to, politely, as sick, lame and lazy. Impolitely they are referred to in other fashions, as your son learned. It wasn't appropriate but a lot of what happens in the military is inappropriate outside the military.

I imagine that those who belittled your son would probably apologize if they knew all the facts. They don't and probably never will. I realize that nerves are raw all around in your family but this is one of those "water off a duck's back" type things. I am not defending their actions (as I feel they were inappropriate also), I'm just saying that there is no need to dwell on this because nothing can be done about it.

Now is the time to rally around your son and remind him of all the great things he has done in the past and will do in the future. Letting your anger fester (which it obviously has as this is not the first post that you have made about this) is not healthy for you or your son. This situation is very similar to what happens when a person gets fired from a job. There is initial anger but, if one is to move forward with one's life, everything must be put in the past and energy needs to be redirected toward the future. Those that don't are the ones that end up without jobs for years. From a corporate standpoint, I've been there and done that at a time when my industry had NO open jobs. I actually had to move into a different industry and I absolutely love the job that I was doing. This was not a small thing on my part either. I didn't quite have a 6-figure income (but almost) and took a $70,000 pay cut.

Your son is going to feel bad for a while, justifiably so. That's OK. Take some time to process this and then you and he need to look beyond this and figure out what to do with the rest of his life. It took me almost three months to come to grips with the fact that I wasn't going to get another job doing what I loved. At that point, I applied myself toward redirecting my life. Your son is in this same position. He loved being infantry but can no longer do it, through no fault of his own. He will need some time to get over it. You, on the other hand, can commismerate with him but should start looking at things to help your son come up with a new life plan. You know what he likes and doesn't like. You can start gathering information about schools and training programs, or whatever else he may want to do, so he will have information available when he gets over the anger and is ready to move on.

quote:

Originally posted by mturnb:
In no way is the Army stating that he is a coward. [QUOTE]
I know that, if you read my comments they are not directed at the army for finding a medical problem nor for discharging him.

[QUOTE]
As to the comments made by the other drill sergeants, they were obviously responding to appearance without knowing the facts. Had they known that he had broken his leg on a march and was being discharged, they most likely would have said nothing.[QUOTE]

Perhaps, but he will never know that will he.

[QUOTE]
The people standing on the side of formation are referred to, politely, as sick, lame and lazy. Impolitely they are referred to in other fashions, as your son learned. It wasn't appropriate but a lot of what happens in the military is inappropriate outside the military.[QUOTE]

That is sad to know that all the sick and injured are refered to in such a matter.
[QUOTE]

Now is the time to rally around your son and remind him of all the great things he has done in the past and will do in the future. .[QUOTE]

You can be assured that we will do so.
[QUOTE]
Letting your anger fester (which it obviously has as this is not the first post that you have made about this) is not healthy for you or your son.[QUOTE]

Please direct me to an angry post regarding my son, I have posted for some advice and that I was very sorry to hear he was having problems but no posts about any anger at the Army until this one. I posted about his injurt and requested prayer and asked questions about his options based on what he had told me in a phone call. I have not posted anything negative about the army nor about his treatment until this post.
[QUOTE]
You, on the other hand, can commismerate with him but should start looking at things to help your son come up with a new life plan. You know what he likes and doesn't like. You can start gathering information about schools and training programs, or whatever else he may want to do, so he will have information available when he gets over the anger and is ready to move on.

We are already working on this in preperation for his return and none of the anger we have towards his treatment will be discussed with him. I agree it is not healthy to do so.

First of all I thank to thank and commend you and your family for your service and commitment to the honorable profession of the US military.

Then, let me remind you that there are JERKS everywhere. Put on a uniform and even having the privilege and responsibility of servicing as a DS doesn’t weed them all out. A hand shake from the DS who knew him should be worth 1000 “fingers” from those who don’t know him.

The most important thing is your son’s health – be sure he get what ever medical attention he needs. Now is the time to tall to VA about what benefits he is entitled to.

I’m confidant that there is a viral roll for him self where in the future of America. Many American heroes do not wear a uniform.

With prays for a bright tomorrow,

Bruce

Thanks Bruce

I realize there are jerks, but it is hard to think that he is having to go through this along with his disapointment about his medical condition.
As far as the family is concerned we will be fine once he gets home, I think the hardest part for us all is knowing he is there and that he is going through this and we are powerless to do anything about it. It is making us all crazy.

If they are going to send him home, we are just hoping and praying they will do it quick.

I am not sure if he has any benefits with the VA, I think we will have to wait and see how his discahrge papers read. He went in on a waiver so I am pretty sure it will be a pre-existing condition. Anyway in the end that will not matter. he is still on our insurance policy so as long as we can get him signed up for some college class's we will be able to carry him and treat him until he is healed.

Again thanks for posting, I am not angry anymore, I am just sad and worried for him and hoping they will get him out soon

Keep us posted, please.

quote:

Then, let me remind you that there are JERKS everywhere. .

Oh yeah! Those Jerks had no clue, never will. Best they be forgotten and left to answer for thier behavior to a higher power someday. My biggest hope is that someone clued them in and they have to live with what they did.