Is it just me, or do people seem extra stupid? I've had co-workers tell me the most heart-breaking stories about soldiers injuries and/or deaths. This is after they've just asked me how my soldier son is doing in A-stan! Or they compare him going off to the war to their son going off to college ("I'm soooo worried that he's not eating and partying too much") They seem compelled to tell me about anyone they ever knew who was killed in battle. I realize that they might be uncomfortable and not know what to say, but jeez! Or people who want to discuss their political views, with very anti-military, anti-war sentiments. Hell, nobody is pro-war, especially the mom of a deployed soldier! But people seem to believe that if you're a military family, that you must think war is great! At least once a day I'm stopped in my tracks by the insensitivity or lack of common sense shown by so-called adults. Is it just me? Has anyone else noticed or experienced this?

Yes, people are stupid. And there are a fair number of even stupider ones out there these days, it seems.

There are also many people who might not know what to say, or feel awkward, or be desperately struggling to come up with some military "connection" to talk to you about. It doesn't excuse the insensitive comments. But its almost like being pregnant, with the myriad terrible stories people felt compelled to share for some unknown reason.

If you really feel like engaging some of the more insensitive ones, go ahead. It might be better to take the high road with a flat, "Thank you for sharing", Or "We're terribly proud of our son for his service but don't feel the need to discuss politics." Whatever works for you. (Hugs)

Bama, you beat me to it. I was so tempted to just have a one word post of YES.

Anyway, OP I think that Bama has it right. They are trying to make a connection to military life and don't know what else to say. It happens in all types of things. I hear it occasionally about my son (Cav Scout) but I also get the same thing about motorcycles. Someone will see me carrying my helmet and then proceed to tell me about Aunt Betty's third cousin's son-in-law's best friend's co-worker who was killed on a motorcycle 20 years ago.

They're probably not trying to be mean or insensitive but just don't know how to deal with it.

quote:

Originally posted by mturnb:
.... but I also get the same thing about motorcycles. Someone will see me carrying my helmet and then proceed to tell me about Aunt Betty's third cousin's son-in-law's best friend's co-worker who was killed on a motorcycle 20 years ago.

They're probably not trying to be mean or insensitive but just don't know how to deal with it.

Classic!

and to answer the question in the title..."Yes, yes they are."

Don
Proud father of a U.S. Marine

there are 2 groups of people in America today. Those who know we are at war and those who watched the Micheal Jackson memorial

I agree the short answer to this is YES!

Sometime rent the movie Idiocracy. I swear one day people will look back on that movie as a documentary!



Sgt Mom

quote:

Originally posted by sgtmom:
I agree the short answer to this is YES!

Sometime rent the movie Idiocracy. I swear one day people will look back on that movie as a documentary!
Sgt Mom

No need to rent it, it's on Comedy Central all weekend.

OMG, yes....People are stupid. I dealt with that constantly when my 19 yr old son was in Iraq. I came from a little town (population 900) where everyone knew each other and we were related to half of them. Loved my small town, but I couldn't go ANYwhere (stores, gas stations, post office, restaurants, front yard!) without several people asking me about my son. I realize that they meant well and were genuinely concerned about him...But I was never able to put his deployment on a shelf for a day because of the constant daily reminders from well meaning friends and neighbors. I ended up moving to Florida half way through his 15 month tour because I needed not have my coping levels depend on how many reminders I got each day. I ran a lic. daycare in my home so that was another group of well meaning people reminding me of the dangers that my son may encounter. Every. Single. Day....and then there are the ones who would say things like " I heard he is part of the Co. Commanders private security...Man, now THAT's a HUGE target.... "
Gee thanks, I will sleep better tonight, I bet!
Anyway, my son has since returned from Iraq safely...And Florida agrees with me greatly!

I've experienced the same. My 18 (19 next week) year old son left last week for Italy and ended up in Germany. He is part of the 173 Airborne Combat Team which is due to be redeployed to 'Stan in a few months. When I post comments about his leaving and how hard it has been, I get all kinds of comparisons. The best one yet - a Facebook 'friend' compared it to when her 8 year old went to church camp! Gotta love em!

At first I was offended - how could someone possibly think the two were even remotely the same? I'm in agreement with the others on this site. Unless we are ready to call them on it (and possibly lose a friend), we just have to smile and say 'thanks for thinking of us'. I do believe they mean well, just don't know how to express it.