I was informed last night that my 18 yr old son had decided to join the Marines. Now please don't get me wrong, I would be the proudest momma around if he joins the service. My father was a WWII vet & both my brother & my ex husband were in the military.
My problem is that I feel he was taken advantage of by the recruiter. He took off on his own to Michigan from Florida (girlfriend) And he came to the rude awakening that the job market is 10x worse up there then here. We had discussed the military during his senior year & he decided against it. Now, out of the blue, BAM! he is signing up. From what he told me last night, the recruiter had him believe he was making the best choice by joining the Marines & that he didn't need to check with any other of the armed services to see what his options were.
I literally begged him to check with Navy/Army/AF/Coast Guard & narrow it down from there.
This recruiter already had him signed up to go to Lansing today for his physical & everything...and has told him that he should be in the engineering field (I also begged him not to sign anything until he made a clear 'educated' decision) The Recruiter was driving him to Lansing - he won't be back until tomorrow but has promised to call as soon as he does.
I have sent him all the links I could find on comparing the different branches so he can make an informed decision.
I will support him & be his rock no matter what he decides but I want him to have the best he can get.
It just scares me that someone he has put his trust in is telling him he doesn't need to check out all his options.

Thanks in advance for any help you can give me

Dear Maggie, It sounds to me like you raised a young man and gave him a good work ethic, pride and the ability to make decisions. What a great gift you have given him and his country, and the world.

Often, I talk to parents of 18 - 21 year young men and women who make a choice that is not exactly what there parents would have chosen. Whether it is college, the military, marriage or one of a dozen other good, decent and legal decisions – I tell the parents to trust the child they have raise.

Once the decision is made the parents, IMN2BHO, need to love them, support them, encourage them and pray for them.

Yes, I understand in our hearts “they will always be our baby,” but in reality when they reach 18 they are adults. Again, trust the child that you raised.

My favorite book says:

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I wish the very best for you and you son,

Bruce

Please stay around this forum and keep us posted.

I agree with you about the choice thing. It's really frustrating as a mother. BUT...my son didn't listen to me either, and he's very happy with it.

Good Luck. It's not easy. My baby boy's happy, but I miss him something terrible.

My nephew made a rash decision on what job he chose when going into the Army -- and he realized his mistake when he went to his advanced training. Now, I could have throttled him when he told me what MOS he chose. But then I realized that if you're going to make a mistake, this is the type of mistake and the age to do it.

Your son is not choosing between a life of crime versus the military. He's simply choosing one branch over the other. And if he realizes too late that he should have looked at all his options? Then he's learned a valuable life lesson at a young age. And he can choose another branch of the military when his Marine commitment is over.

This will be okay. And he's blessed to have a supportive Mom.

I have to say that my husband and I have the utmost respect for the Marines. (and my husband was in the Navy for over 24 years)

All recruiters are going to tell them that their branch is the best way to go, best offers, bonuses, etc.

Hang in there and just keep lovin' him.


Sgt Mom

We raised our sons with a love of the military, but we always preached to them to go to college and get their education, then join as an officer into a career that they can pursue outside the military.

Our first born, joined the Army, he dropped out of college and told us that he prefered to go into the military. We of course told him to finish school and become an officer, he informed us that he might want to be an officer, but he felt the best way to be the best officer would be to serve at least a term as an enlisted man.

We then encouraged him to seek a job that he could pursue as a civilian also, but he chose the Infantry.

He is happy with his choice and although as his parents we still thought our way was better, it was in fact better for us, not for him.

Support him and be proud. The Marine Corp is a fine branch of service and I am sure he will do well.

Thank you all so much for your support & advice! It is so appreciated. I am going to support him no matter the decision...I just didnt want him to not check all his options based on what this one recruiter says But if this is what he chooses, I am happy for him & have nothing but the utmost respect for Marines & and any service personnel for that matter...

Looks like I will be spending a lot of time here in the future LOL

Thanks again & I look forward to getting to know everyone here.

Maggie

quote:

Originally posted by AlwaysMyBabyBoy:
Thank you all so much for your support & advice! It is so appreciated. I am going to support him no matter the decision...I just didnt want him to not check all his options based on what this one recruiter says But if this is what he chooses, I am happy for him & have nothing but the utmost respect for Marines & and any service personnel for that matter...

Looks like I will be spending a lot of time here in the future LOL

Thanks again & I look forward to getting to know everyone here.

Maggie

He'll be fine and you'll be fine.

I agree that it's hard to see your child make such an important decision and not be a part of it. We are always looking out for thier best interests. Mom's don't give a rat's behind about enlistment quota's either! Thankfully I got to meet with my son's AF recruiter. My son wanted to make sure all of my questions were answered. He was 21 and didn't really have to do that but he knew I had reservations and felt it was best to shut me up. If it were me I would try to aquire as much information about basic and his career field as I could. Not sure if the recruiter will speak with you over the phone or not. If I were to run into my son's recuiter again I would tell him thank you for helping my son make the best decision of his life. This comes after 1 deployment to Iraq with another one soon to come. It was still the best decision he made for himself. The AF has made him a better more accountable person. Your son has chosen to become a Marine. While that is scary for you it will be the biggest challenge of his life. Something that once accomplished he will be very proud of. It's so hard to sit back and not have input into our kids lives. The hardest things I have ever done are leaving my son for basic, after graduation and before his last deployment. You will reach a point where pride will replace the sadness. Worry is still going to be right up there, but that never stops.

My son also disappeared for a few hours while out looking for a job and then came back and informed me he had enlisted. It was something he had thought about after graduating high school, but he hadn't mentioned it again for a couple of years so it never even occured to me that he was still considering it.

The job market is really bad right now, even for educated young men with degrees. He was frustrated with working for peanuts in fields for which he wasn't trained. The army seemed like a good way to get additional training and to not have to worry about everyday things such as a roof over his head, food, bills, etc.

So far, it has turned out to be a good thing. When he calls, he tells me that he likes it there (although he once said it was 'boring' - imagine that!). He is happy with his decision and I'm happy that he's happy. There are many benefits (and I don't just mean monetary) to joining the military and although I wouldn't have chosen it for him, I support him 100% and am coming around to his way of thinking - this is a very good thing for him, and will pay off in the long run.

So, no worries - you are in good company here. Many of us parents were blindsided by our son's decision to join. It will all work out and your son is so lucky to have a supportive family. There are others who are in the military whose family never write or otherwise support them, and I think that's just heartbreaking.