Hi
My name is Deborah and my son "Bear" left for Ft.Benning yesterday (7.7.08)at 5:30am. I knew my son was going to join the Army this January. But somehow...it didn't sink in...until yesterday...I truely didn't understand how I would feel. As time grew closer for him to leave...I just kept telling myself...he's going to band camp (Bear played the Trombone in the high school band)and he'll be back. But yesterday.. I realized that what was really happening was ...I was saying goodbye to his childhood. He was leaving for Ft. Benning but in reality.. between Basic, post training (Medic training), Jump school and eventually his deployment.. he really won't be gone for 10 weeks but 4 years. I just couldn't believe the actual feelings that overwhelmed me yesterday. I was flooded with saddness, grief, and an anxiety that shook me to my core. My husband and younger son were a tremendous comfort. I did alot of praying yesterday and went to the Lord for comfort. I can say that God listened to my prayers and gave me peace in my heart by this morning. You see, I know that my son is safe and on US soil. I know he will give his all to finish basic training. And i know that joining the Army was something Bear wanted to do. I want to be happy for my son...I want to cheer him on in his dream of being a United States Solider. I gave Uncle Sam my Son...and the price was his childhood...and in return..the Army will give me back a Man... a strong warrior. I think as a parent...we do our best to prepare our children for the day when they leave and cleave but we sometimes fail to prepare Ourselves! Here's something I did...and it's bringing me comfort... I posted a picture of my son up on the fridge and next to the picture is the schedule of daily activties that I found on the Fort Benning/Army website. Now I don't know if on day one he really is getting up at 4:30am or if he really is getting a CAC Card(id cards) and Dental Phase I at 0900...or even if he's really in bed and lights out at 2100...but it gives me some comfort "kinda knowing" what he's doing throughout the day. Of course...I have to factor in the time zone difference... Georgia is 3 hours ahead of Gilbert, Arizona. I have heard some parents get that phone call within 48 hours and some haven't gotten a call in over 3 weeks...so i don't get my hopes up... i just press into the Lord and leave the worring to Him...His shoulders are bigger than mine One more tip... check out this website www.soldierschapel.info On this website is alot of great info...and maybe...a picture of your soldier!

So you see... I think I'm growing up just as much as Bear these days. I'm beginning to understand the change in my parental role. I miss my son and I love my son...deeply... but I need to look forward at all the great things God has in store for both me and Bear!

Tonight...like every night..I'll be praying for my son. In fact...I'll be praying for all of "Our Children".
I'm also going to pray for "Us..You and Me" those of Us that have children in the Military.

God Bless and Take Care-
Deborah
Arizona Army Mom

p.s I originally Posted this under: Parent Sign-in

Excellent post. Just about sums it up about us Moms dealing with "the moment" we let them go. Our eyes can see them leaving and experiencing all these new things. Our hearts are still loving them like the day God gave them to us. And that's just what Mom's do. If my son ever gets annoyed with me about the tears or whatever I just spout off, "Sorry, but that just what Mom's do, deal with it".

Hi Deborah, Beautifully written!!
I espec like the sentence you gave the Army your son and they will return a man to you.
I look back on my sons career with the USNavy, which spans 17 years. 17 deployments; schools; "the sandbox"; Kuwait...and every time he "comes home" I am amazed by the changes that have happened over these years. Now he's talking "retirement" and wonder how these years flew by so fast, for me. I look at this self confident man full of leadership skills that astound me.
He recently said "Mom, do you know that the kids that I am training now were being born when I joined the service?". It seems like just yesterday we were headed to Orlando to see him graduate from bootcamp..the kid with the lump on his head from banging the flag into his forehead.
Love and hugs to you all!
Jean

To: OFKev-Mom & Easyrider 195 (Proudest Navy Mom in RI)

Thank you for your responses to my post. You bring me comfort and a sense of "kinship".

By the way..Easyrider 195...after 17 years.. I'm sure you have many "pearls of wisdom" for those of us who are learning "how-to" parent a soldier...sooo.. any "Pearls" you want to toss my way...would be greatly appreciated!

You see... on my "Mom" resume... I have 19 years of parenting a child... but I have only 3 days of parenting a soldier...and I want to rise to the occasion and be the best I can be!

Happy to hear from you, Keep in touch!
Deborah
Arizona Army Mom

Hi Deborah my son also left for FT. Benning on 7/2/08. He is supposed to start boot camp on 7/10/08 Do you know when your son starts? Your post really hit my heart I can really relate to what your feeling . I too did not expect the depth of sadness, grief and anxiety I felt. At times I thought I was ok then all of a sudden the tears would come and I could not stop them. I never got the 48hr phone call BUT I did get a letter yesterday. I can not believe how one small letter can make me feel so much better. SO hang in there your letter or call will come. I do the same thing you do with the schedule and time. We live in Calif. so I have to do the time thing too. Its funny the things that bring moms comfort. I will keep Bear in my prayers along with my son Nick and all the men and woman who are so brave.

Hi Deborah, my son too left for Ft. Benning but on June 12 so he's been in BCT now for about 3 weeks. You type a beautiful endearing piece. You were blessed in that you at least knew your son's plans well ahead of the time that he left. I didn't learn about my son's decision unti about a month prior to his leaving, when he decided to tell me he had been speaking to recruiters... but since my son told me to not go around blue all the time acting like he's dead allready, I had to be so cautious with my reaction. However, I wasn't going to be "moody" as he thought as long as I knew this is what he truly wants and I told him that and that I will back him up 100% if thats the case but that, as his mom I may still be concerned for him. I too found that schedule! There is a multitude of lit. available if you know where to look. I'm trying to learn as much as I can about the Army so I can be the best supporter of my son. However, it's the prayers that sustain me. I go to God daily and trust my son to His care. This gives me the greatest peace. Also, just prior to my son's leaving, I said a prayer with him. I did cry before he left but not in his presence and went to God in prayer, and then after I dropped him off, the tears started rolling then too... and God is GOOD~ my son has drawn closer to the Lord since he's been at BCT! I was very concerned about getting letters and phone calls. Check out my post on phone calls and letters to learn more. Lord bless.

Hi Mom2the_Zombie83!

I did happen to read your post under phone calls and letters and I remember thinking...how blessed you are to know that your son is actually taking time for the Lord. This must give you great comfort. I also thought to myself...I hope my son Bear takes time to be fed and led by the Lord. I do a morning devotional, sent from the OS Hillman website, and today's devotional was based off of the following passage:

"After that ye have suffered awhile, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle you." —1 Peter 5:10

This was a great passage for the "season" we military parents are in. And I plan to share this passage with Bear... as soon as I know where to send his letters... and let him know that the trials he faces are only there to grow his "roots" and keep him strong.

I just want to thank you for sharing that your son is going to church services. It brings joy and comfort to the heart knowing that our children are drawing their strength from the Lord.

Blessings-
Deborah
Arizona Army Mom

Hi Deborah!

If you like, I will lift your son up in prayer for not only safety and well being but also for the Lord to put a burning desire in his heart to draw close to God in a way he never has before. This is always part of my prayers when I pray for my grown kids. As further encouragement, I had given my son Robert a personalized cross as a going away gift (it is a very unique cross I've NEVER seen the likes of before fashioned on a soldier's dogtags and the shape of a cross cut out on the top tag) I found it on walmart.comif you're interested look under jewelry- men's necklaces and it should be there. Robert was thrilled when I gave it to him; I was so happy he was pleased! I've also found a Soldier's bible I'm having shipped to me then I'm going to send it to my son (now that I know he's been active in church services there-I feel certain he will appreciate it! If you're interested in finding this bible go to [URL=thekjvstore.com ]Military bible available[/URL] and click on *Outdoor/Military in the column to the left of the page. I look forward to hearing back from you. Lord bless.

Mom2The_Zombie83-
Thanks for the great tips. Next time I hit walmart.. I will take a look at the crosses. Also thanks for the heads-up on the military bible. I will have to check out the url.

Blessings-
Deborah
Arizona Army Mom

Hello,
My name is Debbie and my son, Kyle, just left for basics at Fort Benning last week. From the time he enlisted, it was 12 days until he had to leave. I am consumed with every emotion imagineable. I really didn't have time to prepare my heart for this, although I do know the quickness was probably the best for my son. I have been searching the internet to find out as much as I can about the army, basics, Fort Benning and AIT (medic). I was so comforted to find this website. Deborah with a son named Bear, I can truely relate to your letter. Thankyou.

I do have some questions and would like anyone's help. My son told me he would get to make one quick phone call after getting to Fort Benning but wasn't sure when it would be. He flew out on Friday (Oregon).I told him to call my cell phone and would have it on 24/7. Then on Sunday afternoon, he tried to call collect to our home number as well as his grandparents home number. We all missed the calls (church). I am so sad to think that is his one phone call.

Does the army have you call collect? He is not schelduled to start basics until Sept. 12 so I was hopeing he would get to keep his cell phone until that time. I'm not sure why he had to fly out so soon if he is not schelduled to start basics for another couple of weeks??

Also, how do I know how to get a letter to him?

Hi Debbie,
I know its hard... but believe me just as your son will adjust and adapt so will you.... :-)

The first part of basic training is MEPS or in-processing, they are held there until the next classes open up. Sometimes they are there only a few days other times it can be longer. .... they also have to 'store' all their personal things (cell phones, 'street' clothing and anything they may have with them not on the list of things they are able to have. They don't have an address their (so to speak), but will once they actually begin basic training. As soon as this occurs you will receive a letter from the unit commander with this information and other important info. (I haven't seen the letter ... when my eldest was in basic (over 7 years ago...) they didn't send out letters. My younger son completed basic in June ... he's married (he went in after finishing his B.S.) so his wife rec'd the letter (since she's next of kin). She immediately let us know his address, etc. and always kept us up to speed when she heard from him (I also got a couple calls too :-) and to relay messages from him which was great! In the meantime, you can start writing letters ... or just jotting down stuff so you remember to write it in your letters... and then as soon as you get his address you can mail the letters.
At first, you will not be able to send anything (packages). At some point your son's platoon will 'earn' this privilege... then you should only send what your son indicates he can receive. Everything, such as time off, phone calls, junk food, candy... will have to be earned throughout these weeks.

At first it will be tough. For sure, your son (just like all our sons and daughters... will hate it. Imagine, you lose your 'freedom' and are told 'what' to do and 'when' to do it .... Drill Sergeants are tough as nails but not abusive. Their job is very important. There are times things will not be 'fair', or they will seem impossible...

Its a tough thing for Moms to understand but this tough training prepares and teaches them to operate as a unit of brothers (and sisters) who watch out for one another. This preparation is absolutely essential ... especially in these times.

Hang in there ... this site is great for information and support, you are also welcome to contact me with any other questions.
mm

Hello,
Thankyou for your helpful insight.

I read through another website that cell phones are permitted during basics at Ft. Benning now. That would be wonderful!! fingers crossed......

I understand the tough training, and do think Kyle will do well. It's the crazy, ridiculous things I worry about. As a mom, I need to learn to let go........Hard lesson.

I'm sure I'll be contacting you again soon

Debbie

Until you get that official address from your son, he will only be able to make collect calls to you. After you get the official address, you can send him phone cards which will make the calls easier. Be sure and check out the fine print on the back. Some of them charge as much as 30 minutes for a 1 minute call so you want to make sure how much you're getting for what you pay.

I wouldn't count on cell phones being allowed in BCT, and probably not in AIT, because those would be detrimental to discipline. If you think about all the problems that high schools are going through with kids using cell phones in class, think about those same kids (and most of the recruits are barely older than high school kids) away from home and friends for an extended period of time. As mortarmom noted, he will have to earn phone privileges.

Be advised that Kyle will call at the some of the worst times you can imagine. Just let people around you know that he is in boot camp and excuse yourself but definitely take the call. My son either called us during church or just as the food was being delivered to our table at a restaurant. I think it's an ESP that he has. We tried moving our church time around (we have three services) and he still called right in the middle of the sermon. Just remember, God will wait for you. He knows what you are going through and what it's like to send a son away from home. Keep that cell phone with you at all times and sit toward the back so you can slip out when the call comes in.

Cav Scout dad

Hello......I did keep my cell phone with me and turned on vibrate so that I would'nt miss that call but for some strange reason, Kyle called our house number. I even made him repeat back to me my cell number before he left to insure he knew it!! Speed dial #10 doesn't call mom on just any phone........

I read the info about cell phones at basics from another forum that I found written by recruits that had just been at Ft. Benning. Kyle did take his but obviously isn't using it so it must of gotten locked up

Good point about God knowing what it's like to send His Son away from home. Thanks.

I'll waite for the 'official' letter............thanks for your advice.

Debbie