My boyfriend wants to join the Marines, and I don't know what to do! We have a 5 month old baby and he says that we are going to get married but I am scared as to what is going to happen to my baby and I.. I am not sure of the process as to what happens to the wives when the men are on duty, ie; housing, jobs for the spouses and child care... does anybody know anything about this? Please help!

Hi, This is a good place to start with your questions and I am sure you will get some help here. I also suggest you google Sgt. Grit and go to the Marine forums, there is a forum on that site for wives, girlfriends, etc of Marines and you can get specific answers to your questions there.

My advice to you is the biggest question you need to answer is if you want to be married to your boyfriend. If you do, and he is committed to joining the Marines- well I personally believe you will need to support him in that decision. I may be old fashioned but I believe when you agree to marry a person you are marrying their dreams, so you better be willing to help them follow those dreams. That doesn't mean you give up on your dreams- he should support them too. You will just have to figure out if his dreams will work with your dreams- but I find people that love each other enough to stay married usually can sort that part out no matter how impossible it may seem to others.

i dont know a lot but i know bits and pieces.

my brother and his wive got married after he finished boot camp and school. they had a kid who was less than a year before going to boot camp.

his wife [girlfirend at the time] lived with her family while he was in boot camp, so she didnt have to worry about housing. but i think ive read somewhere with the marines that you will have to budget about 2 months without him getting paid.

im pretty sure that once hes past boot camp that he will start receiving BAH, which is based off his station. [i may be wrong about this so someone let me know if i am.]

once hes at his PDS however if your married he can apply for base housing or BAH. so you can get a place to live. and being married you gain health benefits for you and your child.

i know theres a career development blog on here for spouses so check that out. i dont know how any of that works however so i cant be much of a help.

as for child care im pretty sure most bases provide this. but i dont think my brother and his wife used it and i dont have kids so i wouldnt know any thing for sure.

i may be wrong about some of this, its off of what ive remembered and herd.

Just to clarify on the above post...

You would either get BAH to live in a place off base, or get a spot in base housing. Some bases have a long waiting list to get into housing. Even if you are living out in town you may keep your name on the list. When a place comes open if you wish to move in you may. If not, you may pass up 2 places but if you pass on a third your name is removed from the list. If you plan to get into housing but have to rent off base make sure your lease has a military clause to allow you to break the lease to move.

Your child would have benefits even if you are not married. If you are not married the military may require a paternity test before the child is entered into DEERS and covered. If the child is covered after the test it would be retroactive and you would eventually be reimbursed for any payments for medical care.

Bases do have child day care centers but it is sometimes tough to get a spot. Many of them are so overwhelmed with the number of children in the area that they have a waiting list as well. But, the fees are on a sliding rate according to rank.


Sgt Mom

Thank you all for answering my concerns. I am a little less nervous now, and it's all thanks to all of you. Of course I still have my concerns in regards to him getting deployed to Iraq or something.... But again, thank you all... I will be back with more questions...