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This message has been edited. Last edited by: rrosadob,

One - you have a history
Two - she would not be under your chain of command
So, don't worry about the O-E thing.

All the info and support is the same whether it is male or female. So, read through the boards and take what you can. We have some husbands around the boards too.

Hang in there!


Sgt Mom

we're all here for you whether we are male or female!!! so dont worry bout just trying to find the guys here cuz these ladies have some awesome advice too!!! welcome!! It's a long road but it is sooooo gonna be worth it!! u guys will do fine...

Just a heads up for the future...being in different they will no garuntee co-location (hell, they won't garuntee it same branch either). They will only even attempt it if you are married, but needs of service always come first. Just something to keep your heads up for in the future. Dual military relationships are doable, but are rough, and you have to be prepared to be stationed 1500 miles apart and not have the ability to take leave when you SO's deployment ends. I've been there. It sucks.

O/E relationships ARE against the regulations, and can lead to huge problems. However, as was brought up above, if the relationship existed prior to the situation occuring you are fine. You are not and Officer yet, and once you are you will definately be able to prove the relationship existed before. DH and I have prior enlisted friends who are now Officers. Just because they "crossed over" doesn't mean that the relationship has to change and the military acknowledges this. One is in pilot training and is the godfather to 3 of my kids and his wife is my best friend. Only becomes an issue in those cases if it affects work. Being different branches, it may never even come up.

You and she might be bitter that her parents didn't pay for school, but honestly I say kudos to them. Too many kids do not appreciate the cost involved with school and see it as a "right" their parents owe them, only to barely pass for the four years, and then wonder why they are not employable. My parents didn't pay for me, I worked my butt off for it. Put in the work and get the grades, school becomes VERY inexpensive. DH gets over $9000 a semester for school (excluding loans and what the Navy pays) and his school only costs $4500 a semester for 17 credits. Without 4 kids, it would be totally doable for income. There are scholarships for education, not for retirement, and she may be thankful later on that they have the money stashed asside to pay for medical bills and aren't up to their eyeballs in debt. I know I am. It's my parents money, they earned it (worked their butts off for it actually) and I can work and get my own.

Good luck in the future, and I hope it all works out for you. Did you ever get that phone call?

Wow!! rrosadob, we are all here for you

My fiance is leaving mid August for the marines, and he has basically been my night in shining armour throughout the hardtimes in my life, just as you have always been there for your girlfriend. I respect that, and you have a very strong heart my friend. With what lies ahead in the lives between you and your girlfriend.. I could never handle something like that. But just know that love is worth anything. No matter how hard the times are, how long the wait is, or how difficult the journey.. in the end, Love will always make your heart beat as fast as it did in the beginning.

The best advice I can give is hang in there. I wont lie it will not be easy. My husband is in the Navy and a Corpsman he is gone all the time but that is part of the job. I have been doing this since I was a Sophmore in H.S. and we are finally hitting our 10 yr mark. We have had our roads of up and down. It is hard when they are gone on trainind deployment whatever the case maybe. Just keep your self focused and bussie. With you going to school that shouldnt be hard to stay bussie. Just hang there everything will be ok.I know it is hard when you dont hear there voice for days in.

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This message has been edited. Last edited by: rrosadob,

I'm so happy for you! It's wonderful news when you hear something and especially to hear your loved ones voice is such a gift!

quote:

Originally posted by rrosadob:
i got a call!


she said she was in the airforce band not too sure what that means for her training/schedule, anyone know?
and lastly, that her flight was really well behaved and doing well (the reason she got such a long patio break to talk to me!) so thats good...

This just means she's in the band flight. She is not in a "regular" flight, she still has to do PT and go to class, but instead of "flight drills" they have "band class" where they practice their instruments and marching and what not. My roommate in tech school was in the band flight, she had never played an instrument before she went to basic and they "taught" her how to play the cymbals. (Basically she was told anytime you hear the bass drum hit, then you clap the cymbals.)

Band flight is usually "easier" than a regular flight, meaning she should have a little more free time than a regular BMTer. (Then again, I haven't been to basic in years so things could have changed a little).....Enjoy the time you get to talk to her! Have fun in ROTC. Good luck!