I'm new to everything military, but my amazing boyfriend is now completing OCS in Quantico, VA. Hopefully he pushes through to graduation, but recently he has been thinking of deferring his commissioning to TBS. For many reasons I'm sure, but he has recently found out that he will not be able to live off base during this 6 months of training while still single. We are both from Ohio and I have been driving the 6 1/2 hours almost every weekend to visit him while he is in OCS, but we had planned on getting an apartment and living together while he went through TBS in Quantico. The only way to do this apparently is to be married. A big step that we were both eventually considering, but now the pressure seems to rising. I don't like the idea of getting married just so we can live together, but I don't want him to put his career on hold because we can't be together. I can't afford to rent a place by myself or keep up the long driving especially with the rising costs. Does anybody know if this rumor is true? Is there any loophole to living together without getting married? Any and all information or support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

My thoughts:

Seperation is INEVITABLE in the military, getting married when you're not ready won't fix that fact, and him not comissioning on time will hurt his career.

If you guys can't stand seperation that much, and can't learn to adapt, he will have a VERY rough career.

If the Marines say he can't live off base he can't. Period. It's typical in training pipelines not to allow it (even for Officers. Right now flight school mandates students live on-base as well). In the military, spouses are the only ones granted rights.

Wait until you are ready, and ensure he stays on track. Use this time to find out NOW how to work out being apart for extended periods (so you can determine if you both will be able to handle it later).

If he hurts his career early on it can make things much worse later.

It's definitely not a rumor, it is usually (with a few exceptions) standard procedure for most junior enlisted (sometimes E-4s can) to NOT be allowed to live outside of barracks unless married. That's pretty much a rule across the board for all branches, and there really are only a few exceptions - i.e., if the barracks are overcrowded.

Moving to Military 101 at midnight EST.

we were married when DH went through Navy OCS..and he was NOT permitted to live off base during his follow on schooling. so not even married personnel always get that perk.

sorry, but blowing off a commission just because of the required living arrangements is silly at best; immature and delusional at worst.

His priorities are way out of whack if the thinks living together is more important than his training. and even if you could,. he is supposed to be TRAINING, not playing house.

quote:

Seperation is INEVITABLE in the military, getting married when you're not ready won't fix that fact, and him not comissioning on time will hurt his career.

If you guys can't stand seperation that much, and can't learn to adapt, he will have a VERY rough career.

Completely agree. Not only will his career be tough, but you're going to 'suffer' and your marriage will pay for it in the end.

Being married to someone in the military takes an internal fortitude that some people can't even fathom. It takes a certain amount of independence, patience, and commitment to be a spouse.

Don't place pressure on yourself to get married just so you two can live together. That's not healthy and can spell disaster for you two.
Take your time--real tests are either pass or fail when it comes to this kind of lifestyle.