Okay, so here it goes...

My boyfriend is in the National Guard, currently active duty prepping to be boots on the ground in the sandbox by the end of the summer (his second deployment, my first as anything more than his friend). He's been gone a little over a month. I haven't heard from him yet, either.

The last couple weeks, and especially day or so, before he left were kind of crazy - everything that could have gone wrong did. It's been kind of tortuous having him gone and not knowing if certain things worked out or not. I've written him some emails, but as I haven't heard anything yet, I'm assuming he hasn't had the opportunity to check his email. I'd really like to send him a letter, but I don't have an address for where he is. (I mean, I KNOW where he is, I just don't know anything specific about a mailing address. Something tells me "My Dear BF, Fort So-and-So" won't quite cut it...)

Anyone have some advice on how I can get an address for him so that it will reach him?

I mean, I know the Post he's at and I know his Unit, etc. if any of that helps. I don't know anyone else from his unit - not well enough to know how to contact them or their families, anyway. DBF's family isn't much help as the only one I'm comfortable talking to is his brother, and he's not particularly helpful in this instance. DBF promised he'd send me his sandbox address as soon as he was able, but the thought of waiting that much longer is rather daunting.

I'm really new to everything military. I swear I know more about the Army and the National Guard than I ever thought I would before we started dating, but I'm still pretty naive about a lot of it. I'm trying, though! I learned a lot before he left and now I'm picking stuff up from the forums, etc...

It's been tough having him gone, tougher not hearing anything. I think I'm doing pretty well, though, considering. I caught myself slipping into the doldrums but I've done my best to nip that in the bud - cleaned the apartment, finally doing the laundry, caught up on my bills, planning to spend the weekend at my parents' house, started excercising more regularly. Textbook coping stuff. We'll see how it holds out, but I know I'm feeling better already. The decision to post and ask for help getting an address for him is part of that, too. So, here I am. Thanks in advance for any advice you've got.

Going for awhile without communication does happen even today. Often they can be in places where emails or even computers aren't an option. For getting an address for him, you may see if you can contact the Family Readiness Group for the unit, they are at home and often can help out in this way. BUT sometimes it would be a requirement to be on the approved list to be given the information.

(Does it matter that he hasn't left the country, yet? In terms of needing to contact a FRG to get an address, I mean. He's just down in Texas for the time being.)

I don't know of an FRG for his unit. There's a FAC specialist near his armory, I believe, and a FAC way down at the Post where they do their training. I suppose it couldn't hurt to inquire. The worst they can do is tell me they can't give me the info, right?

I just wish there was a shortcut. Patience is a virtue, right?

Call the unit-the rear d will know 1) if they have and address-my husband did when he was at mob station 2) if B/F left your name on a contact sheet allowing them to give you information-if he didnt your pretty much hosed and 3) the address-or Call his mom-if there is an address i bet she has it. If he were mobbing here i would say just send to to B/F,Unit, FT Local-but sounds like he is at ft hood which is huge-so thats probably a waste of time.

Unfortunately, contacting most of his family isn't really an option - he's got a complicated relationship with his parents. I might be able to get his brother to help me... I'm assuming they'd give the address to family without too much trouble.

Alrighty then, I guess it's time to suck it up and ask him for help. I'd been hoping to avoid that, but some things are more important in the end...

I didn't get db's sandbox adress till he'd been gone for about five weeks. Even then I didn't get a letter in the mail from him till 3 months after he'd been gone. Of course I send him letters about every other week. I just can't help myself.

Yeah, I know I'll have to be very patient about getting his sandbox address. That's all the more reason I was hoping to get an address for him while he's still in Texas. I'm honestly fine not hearing from him - I recognize the difficulties and logistics involved. I just really want to send him a letter; to let him know that even if I'm not hearing from him, he knows what's on my mind.

I guess wanting to send a letter is probably as much for my benefit as it is for his... There are just certain things that needed to get said that didn't in the crazy-messed-up-rush that was the time leading up to him leaving. We didn't even get an actual goodbye, really. Not having the chance to have said those things is probably the hardest part about dealing with him being gone right now. I'm a big fan of having no regrets, and leaving big things unsaid, important conversations unfinished, is right at the top of the regret list.

But, until something changes, happy, upbeat letters filled with my thoughts and feelings will just pile up in his inbox. I may just have to work on accepting that he will get them, I just can't control the time table. (Me <-- control freak!)

Oh, also, talked to his brother... No help there.

Did you try calling his home Unit? there will be rear detachment staff-and if they have the information and he authorized them to-they will give it to you.

Heard from him today! Didn't get to talk long, but he said he'd be able to be online tonight so we could talk more.

Yay!

We are trying to find out if we have my daughters' boyfriends correst address in Iraq.The family never speaks to us at all or very little.His dad gave us an address a few months ago and we sent out a package and have heard not even a word.We do not know if he even got it.We are getting very concened.He is due back in Dec. and she has not even had a letter or anything.