Hey Everyone,
I need some advice, I am originally from Colorado and moved to Florida to be with my husband. I have no family & really no friends except for a few at work and he will be leaving for a 7mth cruise in a few months and I am thinking about moving back to Colorado to be with my family why he is gone which would require for me to quit my job. I just need advice if anyone thinks this is a good idea or a bad idea. I am having doubts, I want to go but then I am scared to leave my job but then I hate the idea of being alone. If anyone could give me any advice I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks ) Please email me.
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This message has been edited. Last edited by: theainjmtant,

TommysGirl, this decision is entirely up to you, however.....I have a few points to ponder.

Not knowing how long you have been married to your husband, if you are newly wed, you are going to have to get used to the fact that your husband will be away from time to time. My opinion is that you shouldn't run home whenever your husband goes away on orders. Not to be blunt, but you chose to be married to a military man. Military men are sent away often by the military.

I'm not trying to be mean here, but you need to get used to the fact that your husband will be gone from time to time. Get to know people around where you live. Get to know the area. Seek out things to do in the area in Florida where you live. Use that time to start a hobby.

I know it sucks being alone. But that is part of being a military spouse.

If you like your job, I would stay. With your husband away, you will have more time to build friendships and get more involved in your Navy community. There should be plenty of other women in your situation that you can bond with.

These deployments are a reality of Navy life, and you will probably be experiencing more in the future.

I don't think there is anything wrong with going home either, it's obviously a personal decision. I'm sure whatever you choose will be best for you.

consider the finacial impact:

BAH remains at the current location. you will NOT get the move paid for, you will NOT be allowed to keep MFH if you have it, YOU are not covered under the SSCRA so legally you cannot be let out of a lease just becuase he is deploying(only if he had PCS orders) and you will not have the access to some of the information given out by the Ombudsman, as it can only be given out in person.

You also have to look at do you really want to live at home with your parents? You are used to being on your own but now you will be under their house and some of their rules. I love my parents but H&LL no can I handle living in that house for 7 months. You will have to do everything on your own. Your home is now with your dh and his home is with you. It is where you make it and how you make it. If you decide you want to move home then do so but remember it will all be on your own dollar. If you live in housing then you will break the lease and they can charge you up to the necessary amount of time for the lease breakage.

For communications about the ship's schedule, port calls, etc.. it can be limited if you are away. Sometimes that information is only given in person so you will be without others who are going through what you are going through.

It works for some to go home. Many, many times we have folks ask this very same question. They decide to go home, and then in 1-2 months they are back on here crying because their family doesn't understand, they have no support, they are having trouble getting info on the ship, etc, etc, etc.

Think long and hard about it before you choose.



Sgt Mom

I agree with the above. If you feel you can live your parents again, go for it, but be sure it's really what you want.

Often we tend to idealize home, but for some reason when we return it's never how we remember it. People grow and change, as do our perceptions.

Just one thing to think about from me...

It is SO SO SO much easier to be at the pier and wrap your arms around him when his boat comes in if you already live in the neighborhood.

Just something to consider.

quote:

Originally posted by Kali2008:
It is SO SO SO much easier to be at the pier and wrap your arms around him when his boat comes in if you already live in the neighborhood.

True. When I was stationed in NY and hubs was stationed in GA I actually hated the phone calls telling me the boat was pulling in 24 hours later. I would be like "woo-hoo!! a phone call......" and think about everyone who got to see their spouses the next day. Depressing.

I just want to thank everyone who responded and for your thoughts. I still haven't decided what to do. I have checked plane tickets to fly home to CO for the holidays if I stayed down here and it is ridiculous. With the economy the way it is I am scared to even thinking about quiting a perfectly good job. My husband says he wants to do what is financially beneficial and wants me to be happy and feel safe because we dont live in a very good area ands its all we can really afford. I'm not going to be happy because I am lonely so its not really a win win situation. But thanks again I will take everyones opinions into consideration.

Have a great day!