Ya know it's just life.... you find a way around it....
I can empathize with this situation. I stand watches, I run my shop, and I have 3 family members with serious medical conditions (Lupus, seizures, blindness, the list goes on and on)...
But there is a job to be done. I dont know your location, but most USAF and Naval bases have daycare geared towards watchstanding...
Worklife sometimes can provide a listing of Coasties that daycare / nightcare for people on watch with children... If they have folks in their area who are providing that service.
If you live near Coasties, seek some of them out; Usually you can find someone who is willing lend a hand...
The CMC or Silverbadge may also be able to help reach out for assistance; and is very well networked....
You may consider moving the kids off with family until conditions are more favorable. I know that's not the best win scenario; but you do what you must for them. I am sure both sets of grandparents would be more than willing to help.
We are different from the Civillian Community. We may be new to an area. We could be a long way from family and any kind of support group. However, in these most dire circumstances or emergencies I have always been able to ask my shipmates for help and get it when I needed it the most...
If you do have questions, I'm in the global; not sure there is much I can do other than the suggestions above. Good luck and I do hope it works out for you...
Originally posted by dipstick12: What is the POS "Special Needs" program then? If that program weren't "mandatory" and people could make their own decisions, I would be in Alaska on a cutter right now.
As much as I can not stand the program because of my situation, it does, however, serve a purpose. A single parent could actually easily become a part of "special needs." With the exponentially growing single parents coming out of high school and college, if the military in general doesn't consider something, they will quickly start limiting their recruiting pool.
As has been stated by several others, the Special Needs Program, to simplify it, is a MEDICAL based program that ensures members who have dependants with special medical needs are placed in areas where the MEDICAL need can be met. MANY folks in the Special Needs program find out to their discontent that it does not affect ASSIGMENT to a UNIT, just to an area. Members enrolled in Special Needs are subject to the same potential for Afloat assignment as anyone else.
One option that noone has brought up yet for people who find themselves in a pinch concerning dpenedant care: Request a hardship discharge!
And/or hardship transfers, along with, try to put underway billets close as possible to family, or there are those of us out here that have a sense of community unity and will help care for children while the parent is underway, etc.
There are options. I kind of got off on a tangent with the Special Needs. I don't like the program, I think in theory it is good but I think some places go overboard and use it to discriminate against people they may have to "help" with. Anyway, I'll give you the whole story if your interested, just let me know and I'll give you a run down on why I'm bitter with this program.
Basically, I was using it more as sarcasm in this situation. My point is, there are options out there. You just have to think a little and be a little trusting, I know hard in todays world. I hate to lose good people over things that can be worked around. This is something we can work around in MOST situations.
See, other than a HUMS, there is no hardship transfer. By nature, a HUMS situation must be temporary in nature. Unless you inherit a 17 year old dependant, it is not temporary in nature.
Feel free to give me a shout through the CG system if you desire.
It's refreshing to see a positive post on here as opposed to the self proclaimed pundits and the sycophants.
Though many people who have posted claim that this is not a Coast Guard issue or problem, I retort with this. In 2004 - 2005 the Coast Guard contracted a study to be done by Caliber Associates concerning childcare and parenting issues in the Coast Guard. It addressed many of the issues that the have been brought up here on this string of posts. People may not like to admit it, the Coast Guard does realize this is an issue that needs to be addressed.
and that study resulted in certain pay supplements to defray child care costs. It did not even hint that dependant care issues should allow short or long term exemptions of any type from normal military duty responsibilities for those with chalanging circumstances.
Are you suggesting that people without those challenging circumstances, and those who have found ways to handle them, should be at any disadvantage? Should peple w/o minor dependants or with a spouse be the only people who get ardious duty?
All the rules should apply across the board no matter how many children we all CHOOSE to have or whether we decide to marry another military member or even get married at all.
This all goes back to the same basic fundamentals. We all joined the same service knowing whats available and whats not. If you chose not to do your homework prior to "signing your life away" then shame on you. Deal with the choices you have made for yourself and if those choices confilct so much with your job in the military; then by gosh....this is not the place for you.
I agree with the single mom.Childcare is important to us mom, and hard to find.When you have to fly family members in to babysit,that's call LOVE.sO YOU GROW UP AND GET SOME UNDERSTANDING.
quote:
Originally posted by edgykatid: Like I said, life is tough.
This from the very first post in this thread:
"Being a watch stander and a single mom is very difficult. It's hard to find childcare (out of home) for 13hrs. I have had to fly family in 3 times to help me watch my son so I could work"
Child care is the issue, and live in help solves it. A possible solution has been provided.
Then, suddenly, "childcare is not my issue", says the poster.
Hmmmm....she is asking the Coast Guard to solve her problems because "being a watch stander and a single mom is very difficult". After all, it's the Coast Guard's fault she stands watches, and that her baby's father isn't nearby. Those mean Coast Guard people just don't understand.
So, end the blame game and the whining. Grow up and HANDLE IT.
Listen, this is simple. When you have competing obligations, you got to pick one that is the priority. When you are in the military, 24/7/365 availabilty is an obligation you make. We greatly appreciate everyone's service, but if family needs prevent you from doing your part, than stand up and make the proper choice. Short term, unexpected, infrequent issues are one thing. Continual, repettive issues are another. A life of service above self is not for everyone!
After pondering what I wrote about this, thinking hard about it, reconsidering it, hashing it out in my own mind, checking my gut, evaluating the data, and otherwise experimenting with different variations of potential outcomes....
Way to go, edgy. I'm of the same school of thought as you. I usually piss off more than a few people when I state my opinions on family priorities VS. duty priorities. A few years ago I remember having a couple days of leave (just some local R&R, but it was mine and I earned it nonetheless) cancelled because someone's kid got the sniffles. I would have liked to file that one away under "Not My Problem", but I guess "Work/Life" uber-sensitivity takes precendence.
I concur with everything you've posted. I was raised by a single mother, my aunt was a single mom of FOUR in the 70's.. know what she did? Worked two jobs to pay the bills and SHE took care of her kids. She never once expected someone to handle her business, because those were her choices.
I've chosen NOT to have children, so because of MY choice, I should get the shaft because a single mom can't figure out what she needs to do for her child? Blet.
