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Originally posted by Ex_CG_GM:

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Unfortunately the general attitude of the CG is it's not our problem it's your problem.

???????? A CG member becomes pregant and has a child and now it is the CG's problem?

I have worked in the civilian sector for 30 years and yet to find a company that did anymore then give an employee time off to have the baby. They did nothing to help as far as changing work hours, assist in finding child care, etc., etc.

So why should the CG have to do such things?

And, as I pointed out earlier, accomodating the parents happens at the expense of those that are not parents.

Being an OS doesn't compare to working a regular nine to fiver. Our schedule doesn't exactly coincide with the rest of the work force, which makes things like finding child care more difficult. I won't disagree with you that those without dependents can sometimes get the shorter end of the stick. However, just because you may have been fortunate enough to have a wife at home to take care of your little ones doesn't mean that everyone is so lucky.

Women just happen to be on the more difficult end of childcare, usually being the primary caregivers. And even though some people shouldnt reproduce , doesnt mean the children should have to suffer for it. Anyone ever look at someone and say, "You remind me of that movie Idiocracy"?

But, But But.....

We all make choices, like....

Enlisting in the Coast Guard

Researching the nature of every rating in the Coast Guard and their work hours, duty assignments, etc.

Applying for OS School

Attending OS School

Entering a relationship with someone who is casual about it

Having sex without using birth control, knowing that sex is not only fun, but results in childbirth eventually

child care providers that understand the nature of your work.

When you expect others to pander to YOUR choices or solve the problems created by YOUR choices that's wrong.

Let's back up to the early choices. Every OS knew going in that they would stand rotational watch schedules, but they went through school anyway, and went to their first duty station anyway, and some maybe entered into a casual relationship while at "A" school. All choices that individuals make.

And still not one solution to a single parent's "problem", other than finding child care, has been posted.

Still lots of whining, but no owning up to the problem and solving it.

A fifty cent condom and birth control pills are one solution to some individual choices. Don't you agree?

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Being an OS doesn't compare to working a regular nine to fiver. Our schedule doesn't exactly coincide with the rest of the work force, which makes things like finding child care more difficult.

Ah yes, the same problems that exist for police officers, firefighters, nurses, call center workers, 7-11 clerks, airline workers and ANY OTHER CIVILIAN JOB that works nights and weekends.

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However, just because you may have been fortunate enough to have a wife at home to take care of your little ones doesn't mean that everyone is so luc

It wasn't good fortune, it was planning on our part. We made decisions that affected out lifestyle and did without many things others took for granted just to make sure we could have my wife at home to care for our children.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Ex_CG_GM,

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Ah yes, the same problems that exist for police officers, firefighters, nurses, call center workers, 7-11 clerks, airline workers and ANY OTHER CIVILIAN JOB that works nights and weekends.

Except we are supposed to be world wide deployable at any time. So if your telling me you can't find daycare, and can't stand watch, and excuse for this and excuse for that.... What would happen if you are called upon to deploy. Are you going to argue at that time that you can't get underway... Should the Coast Guard accept your personal "problems" and make someone else take your underway billet?
If your answer is... My parents will watch my child if I am forced to get underway, then maybe that's one thing you could be doing now. It's all about choices. Either you become part of the solution, or you expect everyone else to solve your "challenges" for you.
I have noticed the ones that do everything to solve their challenges before going to their supervisor are usually the ones you see getting awards, advancments, opertunities, and are view as leaders.... Your expecting someone to solve your "problems". Well, they usually turn out with poor attitudes and end up spreading their negativatiy though the unit.
Not everything works out perfect. There's no such thing as a problem, just challanges that we have to rise above.

sillybeep-

I'm not sure why you quoted my post unless it was to reply to the one comment of mine about all the civilian jobs that work non 9-5 hours.

Sounds like you and I are in agreement mostly.

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Except we are supposed to be world wide deployable at any time.

Although that is technically true you and I both know it is highly unlikely that will happen to the vast majority of people.

I never said that the coast guard should accept people's problems, but in essence, that is exactly what happens. The original poster was whining because the Coast Guard would not fix ALL her problems, but we all know that it does VERY MUCH to help people in a similar circumstance. I'm just saying...everyone's situation is different, and not everyone made bad choices to end up in the situation they were put in. I know plenty of men and women who have had to work harder to provide for their families, so we're talking about the minority here.

Ex CG GM, yes, it was planning on your part. But if your wife decided to up and leave you, that definately would not be part of the plan. Non-traditional families are becoming more of the norm than the exception, and the Coast Guard, just like any other organization, does have to adapt to meet the needs of its members. It won't always make everyone happy, but these circumstances will always be a part of the force.

All i'm saying is that because of what one person says, everyone gets their panties in a wad about an entire subject. I don't envy the original poster right now, because she definately made herself look bad, but this issue is very important for supervisors in just about any unit.

For the record, I have no children, but I can identify with the potential of issues that would come up if I did. I wouldn't have the luxury of sending someone 500 bucks a month for child support (like many men in the service who have children out of wedlock or are divorced). Such a difficult subject...

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Ex CG GM, yes, it was planning on your part. But if your wife decided to up and leave you, that definately would not be part of the plan. Non-traditional families are becoming more of the norm than the exception, and the Coast Guard, just like any other organization, does have to adapt to meet the needs of its members. It won't always make everyone happy, but these circumstances will always be a part of the force.

She did. And as a single mother she dealt wth all the day care issues. We ended up back togather, but in the 1-2 years we were apart the comapny she worked for did NOTHING to simplify her life. Nor did she expect them to do so, nor did the vast majority of single paremnts I have had work for me over the years. I have had to sit single moms down and tell them they needed to get the father, or a grandparent, or some other person, lined up because I could not afford to have them be the one that was ALWAYS off work or leaving early/coming in late.

The vast majority of companies do NOT adapt to meet the needs of their employees.

In the words of Paul Harvey "and now... for the rest of the story"....

I am the OS1 that went to the detailer, for several reasons and I will not air anyones dirty laundry in a forum. Having said that I will say being on an underway unit and leaving your family behind 6 months out of the year, no matter what the size of the unit, is hard enough, but to leave your family or almost family behind and not wanting to be on the unit in the first place is a different story. My question is why put down a 378 if a 378 is not desired? For the record I was actually requesting of the detailer that she send us a different individual, one that actually wants the sea time and experience. So you could say I was on your side in not wanting these particular orders executed simply for the lack of understanding the process of how things work and for the lack of communications. Do not get me wrong, family is at the top of my priority list, but you do have to remember YOU ARE IN THE MILITARY. If the CG was to cater to everyone's needs then my family and myself would not have spent a tour in Kodiak, AK and want to go back. (any detailers reading this post please ignore the last sentence)

OS1
USCGC Gallatin WHEC-721

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and the Coast Guard, just like any other organization, does have to adapt to meet the needs of its members

How?

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Originally posted by edgykatid:

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and the Coast Guard, just like any other organization, does have to adapt to meet the needs of its members

How?

I would have asked why? The CG doesn't HAVE to do anything.

I cracked open the PERSMAN for some guidance on this issue. Instead of heading straight to the section that covers dependents and transfers, I checked out portion concerning member married to member. I would venture to say that in its initial draft this section was not included in the PERSMAN.

The policies concerning married members were put in place out of necessity. The manual states that married members will not have simultaneous ship board duty. It also says that the Coast Guard will do their best to keep the couple stationed in the same geographic region. There became a need to review the current policy because it became a relevant issue; it was affecting people in the Coast Guard.

Next I read the policy concerning dependents. To summarize it says that single parenting is difficult. It also goes on to say that caring for dependents does not preclude someone from being world wide deployable. So there isn’t really much policy to the policy.

Single parents are not looking for a free ride. We are however asking that the Coast Guard review the current policy. I suggest that the policy be rewritten to say something like “The Coast Guard will do the best it can to accommodate a single parent who is being stationed to hardship duty (i.e. ship or TACLET) by placing them in a geographic region that makes child care accessible and affordable.” It would be written with the same caveat that is attached to the member married to member concerning the needs of the service and priority.

Aside from revamping policy, I think the work life staff needs some examination. The other Armed Services have a wealth of information and resources such as networking tools, on base childcare facilities and even family placement for extended deployments that are available to their members. The Coast Guard needs to be able offer more resources for members with children.

We need to remove our blinders and realize that childcare issues for single parents and dual military are not going to disappear. It is time we actually try to work and find resolution as opposed to slinging unnecessary accusations.

I think if people were like "What can I do to help my situation?" instead of "The Coast Guard BETTER DO THIS FOR ME" there might be a different reaction.

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We need to remove our blinders and realize that childcare issues for single parents and dual military are not going to disappear. It is time we actually try to work and find resolution as opposed to slinging unnecessary accusations.

I can not concur with that. The only significant change that needs to be made is that we give folks who find themselves in those situations clear expectations and the understanding that if they desire to continue cashing paychecks based on thier rate, they will be held to the same availabilty and transfer standards as everyone else.

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Originally posted by Mightyz90_93:

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We need to remove our blinders and realize that childcare issues for single parents and dual military are not going to disappear. It is time we actually try to work and find resolution as opposed to slinging unnecessary accusations.

I can not concur with that. The only significant change that needs to be made is that we give folks who find themselves in those situations clear expectations and the understanding that if they desire to continue cashing paychecks based on thier rate, they will be held to the same availabilty and transfer standards as everyone else.

THat last statement is exactly what needs to happen.

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Originally posted by Ex_CG_GM:
[QUOTE]I suggest that the policy be rewritten to say something like “The Coast Guard will do the best it can to accommodate a single parent who is being stationed to hardship duty (i.e. ship or TACLET) by placing them in a geographic region that makes child care accessible and affordable.”

Uh....one joins a seagoing service and then attempts to claim that going to a ship is "hardship duty"??????

Edited to remove comments I made while angry.

So, the CG, in your mind, should be responsible for ensuring there is adequate day care available anywhere a single parent may get stationed. To what level do you seee the CG's involvement?

Do they merely look in the local want ads and count the ads for childcare?

Do they evaluate the child care? Set standards the chilcare provider must meet? What level? Educational level of the provider? Curriculum? Nutrition value of the snacks provided?

What about married members? Don't they get the same level of consideration when it's transfer time?

What about the divorced father? Does he now have the "right" to be stationed close to wherever his child is? What if he marries another CG divorcee that has children? Does the CG now have to make accomodations for all of them at transfer time? What about THAT divorcee's husband? Him too? Pretty soon moving one member results in moving 4, or 6.....

And now you also want the CG to make sure the childcare is affordable. To whom? An E-3? What if it isn't? Does the CG now have to subsidize your children's child care?

I see none of that as being part of any military service's responsibility. Simply put, when an individual makes the decision to have a child that decision also includes the responsibility to care for that child, not to dump that responsibility onto the Coast Guard.

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Next I read the policy concerning dependents. To summarize it says that single parenting is difficult. It also goes on to say that caring for dependents does not preclude someone from being world wide deployable. So there isn’t really much policy to the policy.

I missed this part. It sounds to me like that policy is crystal clear. To paraphrase....

"Single parenting is hard but if we need to send you to a LORAN station in the middle of nowhere, you need to pack your bags."

Get ready for Page 6.

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Originally posted by Ex_CG_GM:

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Next I read the policy concerning dependents. To summarize it says that single parenting is difficult. It also goes on to say that caring for dependents does not preclude someone from being world wide deployable. So there isn’t really much policy to the policy.

I missed this part. It sounds to me like that policy is crystal clear. To paraphrase....

"Single parenting is hard but if we need to send you to a LORAN station in the middle of nowhere, you need to pack your bags."

That's why they are called orders and not invitations.

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That's why they are called orders and not invitations.

Yup!

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Originally posted by edgykatid:
But, But But.....

We all make choices, like....

Having sex without using birth control, knowing that sex is not only fun, but results in childbirth eventually


A fifty cent condom and birth control pills are one solution to some individual choices. Don't you agree?

WHAT!?!?!?!

What the hell are you talking about?????? The Coast Guard never gave me that training, how are babies made?!!! Condoms take the fun out of life.