I have the honor and privlidge to say that i work at a command where we do anything we can do help people out in situations like the one this young OS3 just mentioned. Not because we have too, but because its just the right thing to do. I honestly believe that all commands should take a carful look at personal situations such as is and if it is indeed within thier power, try and accomedate it the best they can. But, hey, thats just me.
I believe another way to interpret your comments is:
Do what you can to accomodate the married and single parent....even if the single non-parent Coastie has to suffer.
That being said, i feel bad for this OS3. I am a first class myself, and one thing i have grown to hate in the Coast Guard are the "OMG WE ARE IN THE MILITARY SO STFU AND BE MISERABLE" people. I can not stand to see people who are dedicated members of the Coast Guard being told by thier OS1 to "deal with it" as the only solution to thier situation. Are these really the people who we should look up to as leaders?
Perhaps if their senior petty officers and chief petty officers had more than 4 or 5 years TIS then they would have had the time to develop leadership abilities beyond "Deal with it" What you have stated above is a perfect example in my opinion of how rapid advancement and cookie cutter/rubber stamp evals have left a huge gap in the mid-level leadership abilities of the USCG. I do not fault anyone for taking the oportunities given them to rapidly advance and improve their lives, but when a 5 year chief lacks the skills to be an effective leader I don't think anyone should be surprised. -Jeff
Well, rxjeff, "deal with it" is the right answer. Even MacDonald's will frown upon someone who doesn't have the wherewithall to take care of their own child care situation.
Walk into Mickey D's and tell them at the interview that you want to work for them, you are entitled to work for them, AND, you are entitled to have baby daddy nearby to take care of your baby, and if babby daddy can't be nearby you will continue to push at management until you get your way.
Do you think you'll be hired?
The answer is no. If the situation comes up after you are hired you burn your vacation days until they are used up, and then you would likely be fired.
The Coast Guard, at least, has a worklife staff and can help effect workable solutions that are within Coast Guard policy.
I'm willing to be that this young OS3 will go ballistic if she's given TAD orders somewhere.
When I was TCIC at Group Hampton Roads I had a TC3 who was to be a single parent. She never complained about her situation, never felt sorry for herself, never created disruptions. She stood all of her watches, did a fantastic job, and she always showed up on time. She never complained. She told me very clearly her intention was to leave the Coast Guard after her 4 years was up. I respected that. As her pregnancy progressed I moved her off of the rotational watches and used her as an augmentor, standing 3 on, 3 off, twelve hour shifts to give her circadian rhythm a break.
In the last trimester she told me she was getting tired. Her work NEVER deteriorated. She was one of the best watch standers I had working for me. I asked her to get advice from her doctor in terms of recommending work hours..the note came back at 30 hours per week. She worked 30 hours per week until she delivered her baby, and she took a few weeks off. I took flack from one specific watch stander, who I think is still in the Coast Guard and still a whiner. He accused me of favoritism because I took her off rotational shifts and let her work fewer hours. I told him that when he got pregnant I'd treat him just as I treated her.
When she came back to work she went right back to rotational watches. She found child care through a woman who understood her work schedule. Child care was never a problem. She had a plan and dealt with it, and I helped her create a plan the best I could.
She even introduced me to her mother when she came into town shortly after the baby was born.
She did in fact leave the Coast Guard after her four years of service to find a job that better suited the way she wanted to care for her son.
Now, you tell me, did I do the right thing? Did the TC3 do the right thing?
The fact that people keep chiming in is an indication that this topic needs some examination. After reading many of these posts I see there is a great deal of ignorance regarding the subject of parenting while in the military.
It is easy to say that the on site supervisors are at fault but it is really a failure on the part of the CG as a whole. This is a topic that is near and dear to me because I have had these struggles and I also have seen the hardship put on other parents.
Unfortunately the general attitude of the CG is it's not our problem it's your problem. I know because I have investigated this in depth. The work life staffs are ill equiped to handle the child care issues that CG members have. They do not have lists of 24 hour child care providers or providers that are open on weekends. Work life staffs do not have the time or resources So it really does leave a person feeling alone in the battle.
There needs to be a balance that is struck. The CG should make every effort to put parents in a situation where they have the ability to succeed. Of course parents still need to put in the work but some of the burden should be shifted to the CG.
Working parents is a reality in all work forces. Other comapnies are breaking ground in getting the most out of the employee/employer relationship. Single and dual military parents are a vital part of the CG family. The CG needs to examine their policies and procedures to create situations that are doable for parents.
We can't always compare what we do to what IBM does. If an IBM employee doesn't want to go on a bussiness trip, they have options other than Leavenworth. If we compare our policy to DOD policy, (or maybe more accurately, our practice) we would see that ours practice at least and really our policy tend to be more lenient towards the member. DOD requires a writtent dependency care plan annualy to be provided to the supervisor of every unmarried parent and dual military couple with minor dependants that clearly shows what would be done if military orders disrupt dependancy care. Failure to provide a WORKABLE PLAN, IN THE EYES OF THE COMMAND, results in discharge. We use to require annual verification that there was 'a plan in place,' but not the actual plan.
Originally posted by Baker4: First off, i am divorced to another memeber, and we have a daughter together. For now, we are stationed together but have accepted the fact that it is inevitable we will get stationed apart during the next transfer season. It is going to be tough not being able to see my daughter as much as i do now, but all we can do is work it out the best we can.
That being said, i feel bad for this OS3. I am a first class myself, and one thing i have grown to hate in the Coast Guard are the "OMG WE ARE IN THE MILITARY SO STFU AND BE MISERABLE" people. I can not stand to see people who are dedicated members of the Coast Guard being told by thier OS1 to "deal with it" as the only solution to thier situation. Are these really the people who we should look up to as leaders?
I have the honor and privlidge to say that i work at a command where we do anything we can do help people out in situations like the one this young OS3 just mentioned. Not because we have too, but because its just the right thing to do. I honestly believe that all commands should take a carful look at personal situations such as is and if it is indeed within thier power, try and accomedate it the best they can. But, hey, thats just me.
I'll give this post 1 hour before someone replies with a publication link or a reminder of "HOW ACCORDING TO THIS ARTICLE BLAH BLAH BLAH WE ARE MILITARY ROAR!".
Unfortunately the general attitude of the CG is it's not our problem it's your problem.
???????? A CG member becomes pregant and has a child and now it is the CG's problem?
I have worked in the civilian sector for 30 years and yet to find a company that did anymore then give an employee time off to have the baby. They did nothing to help as far as changing work hours, assist in finding child care, etc., etc.
So why should the CG have to do such things?
And, as I pointed out earlier, accomodating the parents happens at the expense of those that are not parents.
MC- I was in the Army and so I am quite familiar with the Dependency Plan.
And as for accomodating parents at the expense of non parents, that is not what I am saying. When I got underway, I requested to do so in a geographical location where I could get child care. I don't really see how that creates too much of a burden on members with no children.
And as for the civilian sector not accomodating working mothers, do some searches on the web, you will find many companies are doing more than just giving maternity leave.
Red; Good - so you can confirm for the others that they are a bit more demanding than we are. Not a huge amount more so, but surely more so.
It sounds harsh, but another persons desire to be in that location, even if it is just becuase of the local sports team, is no less relevant than yours. Both are reasonable to ask for, neither are a mandate to the guard.
Given the Coast Guard's current policy how should it be improved? Take all aspects of it into consideration, given equal weight to employee and employer.
This can be a pretty powerful forum, read by lot of people, so why not open the the discussion toward the problem solving angle.
I gave an example of my own personal solution when I dealt with the situation. What are other solutions?
This is a quote from a legendary OS2 that I work with "Married People and parents get time off for anniversaries or to take the twins to their recital, but if I have twins in the hot tub no body gives a s#$%"
I love it. I feel that the single non parents may often get the crap end of the stick because they are not married and have no kids therefore they must have nothing important to do with their time. If a parent and I both put in for leave at the same time and his/her leave chit says that they want the day off to go to a parent boy scout meeting or something, and I put in a leave chit just cause my girlfriend feels like putting out a couple times who do you think will get the leave?
And as for the civilian sector not accomodating working mothers, do some searches on the web, you will find many companies are doing more than just giving maternity leave.
I'm sure some do. I worked for a company that had some of the best benefits in the high tech industry. They offered day care.....but it cost more then any other day care that was available and had a very limited membership. Looked good on paper though.....
On the other hand, if they wanted the husband to move to their plant in Colorado they did not do anything to help ensure the wife would be accomodated with the move, finding a job, day care, etc.
