Hi, my name is Tierra, I'm 23 years old and I have a 2 year old daughter. I been wanting to join the navy for somewhile now, but been afraid to leave my daughter. I would have to sign my rights over to my parents if I was to join, because her father and I only dated and never considered marriage, because he's not a suitable parent, with that said my daughter is a "Mommy's Girl". My recruiter informed me that I wouldn't be put in active duty in the Navy that I would go to the reserve. My question is, Is it really worth leaving my daughter with my parents for 8-9 weeks and signing over my rights? Will I be so consumed in the Navy Reserve that I won't have time for my daughter? HELP! I need advice Please!!!
if you want AD you must give up all rights PERMANENTLY.. not just for Bootcamp and A school( and Bootcamp alone is 9 weeks long. A schools can run over a year depending on rating). we are talking 4-6 YEARS.. and no your child cannot live with you as you will be in the barracks or on the ship.
if you want to go Reserves then you just need a family Care plan and you retain your rights.. HOWEVER.. after boot and A school you drill one w/e a month and 2 weeks a year so you would still need a civilian job. and if you get deployed.. well that's anywhere from 30 days to a 15 months.
no one can tell you whether or not it will be worth it to be away from her for up to a year or longer.. Only YOU can decide that.
I wil say this.. if you are unwilling to make the initial sacrifice of Boot camp and A school.. then you shouldn't bother.. as there will be times when your drill unit expects you to do extra stuff on your own time.
There can be no freedom without sacrifice
Concur with Mrsjvb.
Reserves can up to a point work with you, but push comes to shove, we aren't going to tolerate poor attendance/performance due to child care issues. Same goes for any work/training that arises between drill periods - your unit will expect you to figure out a way to get it done before your next drill period.
Mobilization order comes down - you need to make sure your parents can take the child on short notice. Depending on the orders you could be gone for quite some time, and even if you stay in the US the child may not be able to accompany you.
As to the father, consult legal counsel to make sure he cannot all of a sudden pop out of the woodwork and obtain sole custody of the child.
Think very hard before you pursue the military, active or reserve.
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I was thinking the same thing. Even if he cant get sole custody, he can probably very easily get custody ordered from a court for deployments and such.
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Straight advice..don't join. Right now, your daughter is more important. While I understand the need or want to go into teh Navy, right now isn't the time. Mayeb think reserves in a few years, but now isn't the time IMO.
I've mentioned it before, but will repeat for the OP's consideration, and this is not a sea story:
Mid-1980's I served with a Sailor who was divorced. He had sole custody of the issue from the marriage (the children).
Because he was in the Navy on active duty, his property settlement specified that he had to hand his children over to his ex the day he departed a shore command enroute to sea duty, and could not get them back until he checked into a shore command.
Net result was a career designated Sailor got out due to the dynamics of that situation.
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