From the Navy Times

How bout a little IT Redneck Humor? Check it out. Funny stuff.

I need some humor to cheer up, no orders yet

At a couple jobs ago the CPU was on the floor. I called tech support, on the same floor as us but a toll-free long distance call. They told me to boot the computer. I asked if they were sure, they said yes so I held the phone by the computer and kicked it. After answering the obvious question about what that sound was, a tech was over in a few seconds. There was a big black mark and a dent in the metal cover. I told him "you told me to boot it".

Tech support how may I help you?

My monitor wont work!

Ok is the green power light lit up on the monitor?

I dont know.

Ok press the power button on the monitor.

I cant find it!

Ok can you find the cord coming out of the monitor in the back.

OK.

OK follow it, where does it go.

Behind the desk.

Does it plug into the wall?

I dont know I cant see.

What?

The lights dont work.

Why?

The powers out...

Ok sir do you still have the box the computer came in?

Yes.

Ok box it back up and return it.

Why is it broke?

No you are to stupid to own a computer sir...

When working my turn at duty up at the IRC/TRACEN Petaluma one evening, had a CPOA class come in. Had this chief raise his hand so I went over to see what he needed. He could get his 5.25 disk to work in the drive (so he said)(remember, these were the UNISYS/CGSWS boxes). I went to pop out his disk and it was wet and had "teeth" marks on it. I moved him to another work station, gave him a new disk and offered him a candy bar if he wouldn't eat the disks. It was only the first week so I cut him some slack.

quote:

Originally posted by RWLucas:
At a couple jobs ago the CPU was on the floor. I called tech support, on the same floor as us but a toll-free long distance call. They told me to boot the computer. I asked if they were sure, they said yes so I held the phone by the computer and kicked it. After answering the obvious question about what that sound was, a tech was over in a few seconds. There was a big black mark and a dent in the metal cover. I told him "you told me to boot it".

Academy man?

Conduit Specifications & Guidelines

1. All conduit is to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal, PVC or plastic centered around the hole.

2. All conduit is to be hollow throughout the entire length.

3. All conduit is to be the very best quality, preferably tubular or popular.

4. All acid-proof conduit is to be made of acid-proof material.

5. The O.D. of all conduit must exceed the I.D. otherwise, the hole will be on the outside of the conduit.

6. All conduit is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so cable, wire, or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.

7. All conduit is to be supplied without corrosion, as this can be more readily put on at the jobsite.

8. All conduit is to be cleaned free of covering such as mud, tar, barnacles or any form of crust before putting up, otherwise, it will make lumps under the paint.

9. All conduit over 500 feet in length must have the words “LONG CONDUIT” clearly painted on each end so that the installer will know it is long conduit. Conduit over two miles in length must also have the words painted on the middle so that the installer will not have to walk the full length of the conduit to determine if it is long conduit.

10. All conduit over four inches in diameter is to have the words “LARGE CONDUIT” painted on it, so that the installer will not use it for small conduit.

11. All conduit fittings are to be made of the same stuff as the conduit.

12. All conduit enclosures are to be open on one end.

13. No bends are to be put on conduit unless specified. If you do, straight conduit becomes crooked conduit.

14. Needless to say, the above is not recommended for the competent. Put that in your conduit.