Why should a woman who didn't stick around during the hard times get half your pay for life? I just think its unfare. I say women only cause I don't know too many men who would spunge off a woman.
Why not abolish the complete USFSPA. Does the rest of the country have such a law? I had to start over at 40 years old why can't the unfaithful spouse. Not only was she awarded 50% of my 55% she also gets $600. a month alimony. This leaves $202. a month for an E-7 over 22 years service. I wonder if the men in uniform are really aware of this law. 50% of all first marriages end in divorce.
Here we go again - it seems that the people posting here feel that 100% of the time the divorce is the WIFE being unfaithful. What about the women that did stay through the hard times to be traded in for a younger model? That's what the FSPA was designed to protect. All I hear is the women are at fault. Not the lying SOB's like my exhusband that was sleeping around.
If a tree falls in a forest and lands on a politician, even if you can't hear the tree or the screams, I'll bet you'd at least hear the applause. Paul Tindale
USFSPA totally discriminates against military retireees, male or female. No other Government Reitrement Program requires payments to an ex-spouse for life...they all terminate on remarriage of the ex-spouse. You can bet that if our Congressmen and Senators had a retirement program that paid up to 50% of their retirement to an ex-spouse for the rest of their life they would do something about reforming the law. But when it comes to the military retirees they just ignore us.
I may be young and naive but I believe that a spouse who gives up their career and follows a military member around the world should be protected. If I spend the next 12 years following my husband to the ends of the earth, raising our children and providing blind support for his career and then he decides one day that he doesn't want to be married anymore, what would happen to me. He could not accomplish the things that he has without me. We both earn his paycheck in a sense. If I charged him for childcare and everything else I do I could probably afford to save for my own retirement, but that is not the case. I am going to school and I will get a full time job when my kids are old enough to go to school, and I will get my own retirement plan (which I believe his is entitiled to as well if we are married long enough) but I have given up everything for my husband's career. Its nice to know that I can't be left with nothing to show for my years of dedication to my husband's career. BUT..... I do not beleive that an unfaithful spouse should get a dime.
The scenario of the husband trading a dutiful wife in for a younger model was the reason the law was created. However - in most states divorce is "no fault" which means adultery doesn't mean a hill of beans.
If you are able to get a retirement plan your spouse will also be entitled to a percentage of yours.
The sad reality is the "bad apples" - the women that run around ruin this for the women it was designed to protect. I also know that the "she did nothing to support me" sometimes isn't true.
Life isn't fair.
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Originally posted by moore31106: I may be young and naive but I believe that a spouse who gives up their career and follows a military member around the world should be protected. If I spend the next 12 years following my husband to the ends of the earth, raising our children and providing blind support for his career and then he decides one day that he doesn't want to be married anymore, what would happen to me. He could not accomplish the things that he has without me. We both earn his paycheck in a sense. If I charged him for childcare and everything else I do I could probably afford to save for my own retirement, but that is not the case. I am going to school and I will get a full time job when my kids are old enough to go to school, and I will get my own retirement plan (which I believe his is entitiled to as well if we are married long enough) but I have given up everything for my husband's career. Its nice to know that I can't be left with nothing to show for my years of dedication to my husband's career. BUT..... I do not beleive that an unfaithful spouse should get a dime.
I agree with you completely. I believe that my husband should be entitled to my retirement(if and when I ever finish school, my fingers are crossed for the GI bill tranferability to pass), without him I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything. He takes care of the kids while I go to shcool. He helps with dinner, he mowes the yard and right now he foots the bill for everything. We are a team, like most marriages, and we are both entitiled to the rewards, however far away they may be. I guess the lawmakers agree... PS it takes a lot to be a military wife, but there is a reason that adultery is in the commandments. I cannot think of a worse betrayal.
Here are my thoughts on this....the lawmakers don't agree, they just don't want to lose their electability. If your husband cheats on you, I feel that it is a two-way street. (I am a woman) It is a marriage. Both need to work it to make it work. Blaming your spouse and taking their hard-earned retirement to me is a total cop out. In my husband's case, his ex was treating him like crap and running around while he was deployed. His fault was staying in it for the kids and not dumping her to the curb years before his retirement. He did the whole "counseling thing" for them. Two weeks after his retirement, she told him to "pack his SH#@" because she would get "her" retirement now and didnt need him anymore and her new boyfriend needed somewhere to sleep. When are our lawmakers going to stand up, get their collective tails from between their legs, and tell these worthless exes (I know there are good ones and you shouldn't be affected) to get off their butts and do something with their lives instead of STEALING from the retirees that they once claimed to love. There are programs for them to find jobs. There are childcare centers on base and off base that are affordable. Quit whining (to those who are) and fulfill your end of the marriage and maybe you won't get cheated on. (Really steamed at his ex right now but won't change opinion when I calm down)
What you need to understand here is that during a divorce assets are divided. The FSPA determined that a military's retirement is "property". Yes marriage is a two way street and for every story of your husbands there is at least one of mine.
"Fulfill your end of the marriage and maybe you won't get cheated on" that must be out of the same training manual as "Don't get your husband angry and then he won't beat you up". Guess what! Cheaters are cheaters and yes they make it seem like it's the spouses fault they cheat. It's still adultery!
You knew going into your marriage that his retirement would be split. Don't whine now.
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Originally posted by 16638701: Here are my thoughts on this....the lawmakers don't agree, they just don't want to lose their electability. If your husband cheats on you, I feel that it is a two-way street. (I am a woman) It is a marriage. Both need to work it to make it work. Blaming your spouse and taking their hard-earned retirement to me is a total cop out. In my husband's case, his ex was treating him like crap and running around while he was deployed. His fault was staying in it for the kids and not dumping her to the curb years before his retirement. He did the whole "counseling thing" for them. Two weeks after his retirement, she told him to "pack his SH#@" because she would get "her" retirement now and didnt need him anymore and her new boyfriend needed somewhere to sleep. When are our lawmakers going to stand up, get their collective tails from between their legs, and tell these worthless exes (I know there are good ones and you shouldn't be affected) to get off their butts and do something with their lives instead of STEALING from the retirees that they once claimed to love. There are programs for them to find jobs. There are childcare centers on base and off base that are affordable. Quit whining (to those who are) and fulfill your end of the marriage and maybe you won't get cheated on. (Really steamed at his ex right now but won't change opinion when I calm down)
Actually when my husband joined, the FSPA did not exist and he has said multiple times that if he had known that he would spend 20 years in the military and he would get half of what he earned he never would have signed up. This law was enacted by a woman in 1983 who slipped it into the riders of the defense budget. If it was a good law, why didn't it go to committee and get passed like "real" laws. If his retirement is property, then why isn't hers?
I don't sanction beating your spouse and I don't have a manual I read from. I stated my opinion and mine alone. I really don't appreciate the demeaning tone toward me as if I was telling people to hurt others. I am only saying that in his case, he did what he did to save the marriage. She was the cheater. She caused the problems, and she benefits. I am not "whining". Being blindsided by an illegal law that never should have been passed as it ignores the purpose of military retirement and goes against the Supreme Court decisions in US v Tyler (1881) and McCarty v McCarty (1981). I just don't think that a person should receive retirement if they never served. And being a spouse isn't serving in my opinion. Do single mothers get government pensions? They raise children alone. Should we pay them too?
In many states retirements are "property" whether it is military or not. I have friends that are receiving half of their ex's pensions. If your husbands first wife has a pension and he is not getting part of it he had a terrible lawyer.
This law has been challenged in the past and will be challenged in the future. Life is not fair. Cheaters cheat and will continue to do so.
Having been a military wife for 24 years I do not agree with the fact that the spouses do not "serve". My ex was never in the field, never went to combat and had a cushy staff job. Went TDY lots and had many opportunities to cheat.
If only the military serve then only the military should receive TriCare, commissary, etc. Since the powers that be recognize that the families "serve" then you should to.
The FSPA wasn't in existence when my ex signed up either. Doesn't matter - it exists now.
quote:
Originally posted by 16638701: Actually when my husband joined, the FSPA did not exist and he has said multiple times that if he had known that he would spend 20 years in the military and he would get half of what he earned he never would have signed up. This law was enacted by a woman in 1983 who slipped it into the riders of the defense budget. If it was a good law, why didn't it go to committee and get passed like "real" laws. If his retirement is property, then why isn't hers?
