Happy Birthday PTSD Forum

This is radio call sign Bravo39 with a Sitrep calling out to any person listening in on this channel. The PTSD Forum on Military.com is about six years old. Reports from the latest front indicate that PTSD, the Hell born spawn that troubles the mind, the heart and soul of a human being, is growing strong. PTSD continues to bring suffering to many directly in its path and passes on as a secondary health issue to many of those persons who are associated with the afflicted. As usual, the government officials responsible for a reaction to almost any national problem are a mixed bag of less than needed response efforts because they are burdened with Politics, lack of funding, plagued with the assignment of persons to handle the problem who share an ignorance of the true nature of the problem or simply don‘t really want to admit that a problem exists or desire to blame the afflicted for their own medical issues. For very many others, there is a forlorn hope that the problem will simply go away.

There is however small it may be, a light of hope on the dark path for those who wander a troubled road carrying the burden of PTSD. There is a discussion forum group for PTSD on Military.com that is now reached its sixth year of posting efforts. In the discussion group are other people afflicted with PTSD trying every day to offer helpful information about PTSD to those who seek answers with a posted offer of solace to those afflicted or associated with the afflicted who seek help. There is a limited effort on medical issues because those efforts must remain the domain of trained medical professionals.

The PTSD Forum exists but many posters have come and gone. One might ask, why? Was their PTSD cured? Maybe they just gave up trying to fake others into believing that their PTSD exists as a true cause with a need for help and treatment? Maybe they were just fakers and when they learned how to get their government bennies, no longer needed the forum? Maybe they did not find any answers to how do they get rid of their PTSD? Some just want to know how or when those they care about will return to the person they liked or loved better before they were afflicted with PTSD.

In six years of posting efforts, there must be several miles of posting efforts if one tried to print them all out. Some posting efforts are in archives and some were simply pruned away as their useful purpose expired.
Perhaps a person who was there at the birth of the forum may shed some light on some of these questions. Perhaps not? There is no desire to argue with those who think those with PTSD with are faking a medical issue to get government bennies, a free ride because they once wore a military uniform. There is even less patience with those who think the type and color of a uniform because of a different service branch or a different type of MOS might prevent a person from acquiring PTSD nor know something about how PTSD afflicts them. A lot depends on one’s point of view and a lot more depends on the accuracy of the fading memory of one also afflicted from the burdens of PTSD plus challenged with other health issues that have had an impact for decades.

If you have read this far, then maybe you will take time to read more, if not now, then maybe later. Permission is given to copy the post and use later on or not as is desired. I don’t have permission of the posters to say anything about them. There is simply a lack of contact with many to ask them for permission. An attempt will be made to honor some of those who contributed to a PTSD Forum in a fair and reasonable manner.

It is nearly impossible to mention all of those who contributed to the PTSD Forum efforts because it would require a book length posting effort. The effort will be limited to hit key points like high water marks in a flood. About six years ago, a person afflicted with PTSD, name Gerald G., authored a post about PTSD on a Military.com forum titled Point Counter Point (PCP). PCP is noted for rapid aging and then deletion of posting efforts. Military.com had a Forums monitoring person, Bob T., who had several years of experience monitoring topics recognized a discussion topic worth a forum of its own for discussion and to prevent the loss of the discussion to pruning. With the assistance and cooperation of the Website ownership, Scott (Stoney) J., the PTSD Forum was conceived and was a newborn. The PTSD forum was a one thread effort with some people adding to the discussions as it grew page after page.

A poster, Lindagr41, posted a sticky note about the PTSD forum on a global basis so that it reached many persons who might be interested in a PTSD discussion group. A small group of posters made the effort to create a PTSD support group. Bob. T. knew a person who had a lot of PTSD experience with a lot of years of efforts to assist veterans with VA claims efforts behind him, Dave B., and convinced him to join the group. Dave B. added a badly needed knowledgeable ability to deal with the subject of PTSD. Dave B. brought to the PTSD Forum that higher quality of experience dealing with the VA and could respond to questions that have helped an unknown number of persons. Most of the posters are afflicted with PTSD and family members of afflicted veterans.

There was a year of posting efforts involving several hundred pages of posting efforts and then a problem caused the whole posting effort to vanish. The posting effort was pruned away without a possibility to restore it. The group was impacted severely by the loss. A lot of themselves had been poured into those “several hundred pages”. It was almost a fatal body blow to the forum. But thanks to a lot of dedicated people who wanted and maybe even needed some place to chat about PTSD recreated a new posting effort.

Over the years, posters have come and gone. The “why” is not completely known? There may be as many reasons as there were people. I can speculate on some things. I have posted about PTSD since the attacks on the World Trade Center. Those images on the TV kicked my PTSD into over drive. Living mostly at home with a desire to stay there, I tried to find a PTSD chat group online but found very little help. I have my own definition of vulnerable. When posting about my PTSD, I always felt strong emotions and often when writing something to post ended up with a terrible desire to hit the delete button. Many times I have done that, pushed the delete button and was glad to see those words vanish. Sometimes I keep to myself my darker thoughts and write words that become destroyed with no one except for me to ever read them. Self defense is necessary at times to protect who you are. There is also a need to protect how others feel and think about you.

A person who posts about themselves, write about how PTSD affects them, takes a risk that exposes their darkest and most painful experiences and darkest thoughts to strangers. Often they find it easier to talk with others who share a portion of the same type of darkness. It is easier to chat with those who share something in common. It is more difficult to talk to family members who often have no similar experiences and cannot quite understand and often don‘t realize that a person lacks the ability to explain. Most persons don’t want to explain PTSD to anyone else. They simply want to be rid of it. A person to talk about PTSD in great details need to trust another person and feel comfortable in the association.

When a person finds the courage to open up and then post about their PTSD, it comes up like puke. When talking or posting about PTSD, a person often relives the PTSD experience and then after posting words to describe that experience, as they know it, often feels very vulnerable and suddenly very uncomfortable. They sometimes regret that they did not simply push the delete button. They see their story, naked, lying dark, ugly, terrible beyond words to express yet open for others to see. Like suddenly seeing oneself is the subject of some “peeking Tom” and feeling threatened by that, cover up and withdrawn from view. Some posters don’t seem to get much past that point of talking too much about them. It is like they have drawn some kind of blinds and withdraw to some place of refuge. It is as if a person has revealed too much to someone else and loses that comfort zone so they are unable to stay in a continued association with those who know too much about their darker side. They often don’t even bother to say good-bye. They simply leave.

There are a lot of efforts that goes on behind the posted conversations. There are many emails exchanged between posters. Some of those have resulted in real life meetings. Some have chosen to go visit others who lived close by in some effort to help. A major effort was made to help with victims of a hurricane. Some of those associations have led to a marriage. Bob T. and Lynne P. became Mr. And Mrs. T. Some may think that such associations are bound for trouble. The potential for trouble always exist between people. Perhaps when a couple share a special type of trouble they find less need to explain and conspire together to live as a couple despite the challenges of a trouble. There have been quite a few associations in real life where the relationship was started by sharing of thoughts on the PTSD Forum.

Some people seek to protect themselves when they find themselves too involved and stretched too thin. A light bulb that burns too brightly might just flare up and die out. Some people do that. They flare up and burn out or move on. Some people able to see the danger and seek to avoid it. They still care but find out that they have reached some limit. Some find the same questions and same few answers repeated over and over and feel no need to respond because someone else does.

Some have left because they had no choice. A few former posters have died because of health issues or because of acts of violence. They deserve to be talked about but perhaps another time. There must be an end to this post. The PTSD Forum exists and continues with a membership of posters who care about others afflicted by PTSD. The poster screen names will change for one reason or another but the posting efforts will continue so long as there are real people behind the poster names who care and are willing to take that risk to discuss PTSD with perhaps a stranger or attempt to help those who seek answers or share their experiences with those who they share a PTSD burden in common. Happy Birthday PTSD Forum. May the forum live long and fulfill the promise to help others. Until there is a cure for PTSD, the efforts to chat about it are a most noble effort.

Bravo39 out

Mods and Admins, please feel free to move, delete or merge this thread with any other or prune. I could have added the post to the Rant topic and almost did. I was curious about how many people would read it and what responses there might be. The comments I made about government officials are my true feelings but if piled on might become another issue for a Mod to deal with. I hope not.

Posters who wish to copy the post are free to do so and use as you want to.

I did not have the permission to talk about other posters to talk about their contributions. I made an effort to be discrete and respectful. My intentions were to share info about major contributors and the special reasons they are remembered. There was a whole lot more I would have liked to share about them and their efforts. Thank you did not seem enough.

Hi Bravo39

I haven't posted in the forum very long, but I've been around long enough to see one of those prolific and helpful contributers leave. I can't argue with her reasons but I miss her and hope she's doing ok. Another poster has been gone for an extended time on a vacation from the forum while under greater stress. I worry about him.

I haven't contributed a great deal yet either publically or in emails --I can't figure out how people in the forum email each other anyway! (My email option does not work, a couple of moderators explained that only staff have that option, and posted email addresses or telephone numbers are removed when found to protect the posters.) At the moment most of the helpful effort is flowing towards me, though now and then others have exressed appreciation of something I'd written.

Because I've been unable to manage transportation to any VA facility, I've relied on "the forumily" for help staying focused, coping with unusual circumstances, and knowing I'm not alone in what I'm experiencing. People here have also passed on a lot of information and encouraged efforts at dealing with this problem, for example explaining what VSO meant and talking me into making an appointment with one.

I'd like to take a moment to say Thanks to everyone. Y'all take care, and I hope I can return the caring in some way useful to each person over the course of whatever time we have together.

Happy Birthday PTSD Forum( Family)!! I found this forum by "accident" in 2003! Thanks to the guys who listened to me and help me, Some of the family have passed on, RV Paul Bear, Tina, Some do not post anymore and I miss them! We are still here and hopefully helping each other along the way. Today, March 2, is my daughter's 34yr. old birthday! Thanks everyone! Sally

quote:

Happy Birthday PTSD Forum. May the forum live long and fulfill the promise to help others. Until there is a cure for PTSD, the efforts to chat about it are a most noble effort.

Bravo39 out

Thanks Scott, it has been a long time

[quote]Prismatic
Member
Posted Sat 01 March 2008 02:28 PM Hide Post
Hi Bravo39

I haven't posted in the forum very long, but I've been around long enough to see one of those prolific and helpful contributers leave. quote]

Hi to you Prismatic. Prismatic, no matter how "new" you feel to the forum, your contributions matter. Your contributions include your efforts to show up to read posts, to respond as you can and makes you one of those very special people who give a damn about others afflicted with PTSD. The number of posts that a person writes don't matter as much to me as what is in the posted contents even if the post count is just a few posts. There are a number of special people who respond to others. It becomes difficult to not get involved in the personal stories and to get mixed up in the lives of other people when you give a damn. Perhaps, the burden of that effort gets into the heart and soul of those who give a damn and they find that they need to back off for a bit. There are a lot of poster names who always seem to respond to other peoples posts. You should consider yourself as one of those special people no matter how "new" that you feel.

Those special people who make the effort to respond to other people are helpful to those who have to find a way to deal with the many issues associated with PTSD. It cuts both ways. When you try to help someone else, you help yourself by feeling that you have done something useful. It is good to have a purpose and feel useful, is it not?

There is a frustration when you learn that your ability to help another person is limited. When attempting to help other, you may share who you are by relating your personal experiences. Like any conversation, often repeated, after a while, there is a feeling like you are telling the same story and nobody still listens. It is a huge hurdle to get over. Some people stop chasing the problem that seems to have no end to it nor a solution. Some people find that they have very little left to give. So they back off and allow others to carry the ball.

There are a lot of other people whose names appear often in post responses. Those people are special because they find a reason to stick around and come back day after day. I respect them because like the losing team on the field during a game, just don't quit and still play on because the efforts to play the game matter more than the final score. Nobody likes to lose but there is a special place for those who stick it out for the team effort and work to support each other no matter what else happens.

Unfortunately, I think I played a role in a poster not posting as much as before. If I had known the outcome of events, I would have hit the delete button. I was surprised by the response or rather lack of it in favor of quitting. I don't know how to fix that without some effort from that other person to forgive it and move on despite it. Sometimes I am a jerk but I don't think I mean to be a jerk in any deliberate manner. I know I responded as I did because I felt a cause at the time. Self defense seemed like a good cause at the time. I don't wish to make excuses. Wrong or right, does not seem to matter. I regret the unexpected results. Like you, I hope that poster decides to return to post no matter what else happens. The cause of PTSD and people needing help with it is a noble cause greater than either of us. The forum must move on with the business at hand providing helpful information about Living With PTSD despite the lack of someone posting.

All of those posters who are here almost every day contributing in some manner are more important than those who once contributed but for one reason or another no longer make the effort. Historical posts are not read as often as a new post response is. A person seeking information is less interested in a history lesson. They most often want to talk to someone who has been there and done that, who is here available to chat with and makes the effort to help cut thru the BS. When a person does read the historical posts of a person, the reason usually has more to do with trying to evaluate the post content of a posting forum member to qualify that person in some manner. Reading a posting members profile tells a person a bit about the poster in terms of who they were. Reading a current post of a posting member, tells something about who that person is now. A high post count may mean nothing or mean a lot depending on how much thought is going on before hitting the post button. A former hero in something might be a total fool when doing something else. It boils down to trust and creditability.

I am also having trouble with Milcom email. I cannot type anything in the block without getting an error message. I thought they would attempt to fix the problem. We used to exchange email addresses and nobody deleted them. Maybe, we can create a thread for people who wish to share their email addresses for the purpose of back channel communications. A lot of people would talk to others if they did not have to post on line. Their trust issues don't allow them to go that far yet. The back channel is a most useful tool to use. I do suggest that a poster who wishes to communicate back channel creates a special email address just for PTSD forum purposes. That way, if you get some kind of harassment, you can change your email address or block senders. If Milcom is not going to work, then some other way needs to replace it.

Sorry the VA is not close to you. I have heard that some people find help via Vet Centers or other Vet groups.

Like you did, I want to thank all of those who are posting and still here making the effort. To those who are not here for one reason or another, I wish you well in your lives. There is a simple truth not intended to be spitefully spoken of. Whatever talent a former poster contributed is missed by those who know what your contributions were but to others, your talents are simply missing when needed. One should protect oneself but consider the cost to others when your talents are missing if one leaves for any other reason besides self protection. No effort to help another is too small nor unneeded even when a thank you or appreciation for the efforts is not expressed very often.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bravo39a,

Hopefully we are being helpful to all Members here. This forum has been useful to many and we hope that you continue to post here and share your information and beliefs with us.