I don't want to get into the details - after nearly 42 years I had something I thought buried and long gone come back to haunt me - but that isn't the question - the question is one of....feelings?...panic?...fear?

I'm being treated for it now - thank God for Zoloft. I'm in counseling - maybe it will eventually help.

When this thing comes back, it comes with this feeling that it's going to take over my mind and stay on repeat forever - the same fear, the same panic, the same feelings of being a prisoner in perpetuity in my own personal hell with the only way out being a noose.

I've studied the hell out of this ailment, but I can't find anywhere that describes such feelings - they talk about panic attacks and anxiety - is that what this is? Is it me or is it common?

I've also read about people filing claims for this but you have to talk about it and discuss it - which is the last thing I want to do - to hell with the compensation - I just want this memory gone from my life.

I wonder how many vets feel like me?