here is my story. i was raped by my training instructor while in basic training. because i brought up the allegation, i received a failure to adapt discharge. this brought back memories of my brother who raped me. now i suffer from schizoprenia and see a counselor once a week just to cope with my daily life. i can no longer work and feel so helpless. i just recently had a daughter and we are suffering financially because of everything that happened in my past. i never realized there were so much abuse like what i suffered from. i am going to make sure i tell my doctor what i am feeling today and try to get some additional help.
thank you for your advice. i am taking positive baby steps and am learning to not live in the past but keep moving forward. if i can prevent or help even one person than i am doing my best. i am counseling my neighbor now who is herself going through a depression.
Hi everyone! There is news that Senator Patty Murray, Dem. Washington state( my state) is going to be introducing legislation in Congress regarding MST and PTSD. I have beeb interviewed by a reporter, Judy Holland, Hearst newspapers. The silence is going to be broken! Sally
and I'm amazed. No one at the Brecksville VACSR has ever mentioned anything about the existence of any inpatient MST program for women. It makes me wonder how much they do or don't know about it. I never even knew about the men's MST inpatient program at Bay Pines VAMC.
I had to very quickly skim over most of the related discussion thread because of all of the troglodytes who variously think [SNIP! yeah, wow! might trigger!].
UGH! what an ugly thread that was. Spoiler: if you're having a bad day, the article is safe, but the discussion is NOT!
This message has been edited. Last edited by: mab_neo,
Breaking News!!! H. R. 4107 in Congress is the legislation that I was talking about. There was a story by Judy Holland, congress reporter. It went to print 2/10/2008. I am the Sally mentioned who lives in Kirkland, Wa. Please ask your Congress representives to approve it!! The VA is against it! Sally
No one has been posting here for a while but I thought what was happening to me was important to post. I was granted 50% for my MST while I was inpatient for MST at Bay Pines. While there the women's coordinator told me I was lucky to get that cause most people didn't get that much. Sorry but I didn't feel "Lucky." I have other related issues, one I had breast surgery in 2004 that was botched by the VA. They left my staples in and I had to remove them because they were imbedding into my breast. The surgery left me lopsided and with a large scar. They took quite a bit of tissue out ( I had very large breasts.) I also had heart failure in 82 from PTSD treatment and my neurologist has told the VA for years my migraines are diretly PTSD related. While I'm having breast reconstruction and reduction so I don't walk around lopsided, something I should have been offered, by a real doctor in a private hospital who used internal stitching(not staples and even removed the scar!)I get a letter from VA saying they are going to require a brest and ******l, neurological, heart, and ortho exam! They are going to run and echo and a pelvic sonogram also on the same day. And oh yes the same "doctor" who I saw before who didn't know jack is going to do it all. Now my point is...
How can one examiner know about all this and if she does she would know this is going to retraumatize me. I feel they are reraping me. I'm not even fully recuperated! God help the woman who dares appeal!
For over 30 years I have been unable to have pelvics performed by strangers much less hostile strangers because I was tortured by a young Army doctor who deliberately I can't even talk about it here. But it was the culmination of many sessions of torture all because I wanted an honorable discharge and was a woman and mother.
I must confess I got pretty worked up and in the old days this would have made me have crazy thoughts about myself. Nowdays the thoughts aren't about myself but I plan to tape record that session all day of it and heaven help anybody who tries to touch me.
Well I did it! I lost it! I told them I wasn't going to let that bee touch me and the bat man accused me of saying she was incompetent and he said she was a board certified emergency room doctor. I said well does that make her a board certified neurologist? or a board certified bynecologist? or a board certified heart specialist? or a board certified bone specialist? Then he accused me of saying she was incompetent again and he wasn't going to listen to it and I said fine don't and well he was going to have someone else call me because I mind you was getting hostile. Well by now I certainly was and informed him of as much and said you aren't listening to me and I said you people have done enough humiliation of me etc and hung up on the guy.
o get hold of this dude who had given me the wrong number I had to call the main number. Well when I got off the phone I called my attorney and gave her his number and told her I wasn't going and enough was enough and etc and was prepared to tell her too to go to but didn't have to because she was going to handle it. I called Washington app4eals who wanted to know what outpost clinic I was living at that was treating me this way and even suggested I call my Senator! I called the regional office who said what? don't go if they aren't metting you at your clinic because that's where they are supposed to do your exam. to make a long story short I got a call back and the bee isn't touching me and familiar faces will be doing any required exams and I will be going to the local hospital for another test. Sometimes it pays to go postal. It cost me days lost sleep, migraines the size of golf balls and rolling panic attacks, carpet wear from floor pacing and even though I'm still anxious I feel somewhat better. That's my story folks
I am SO glad that you kept screaming until someone with some sense, understanding, comapassion AND authority finally heard you. Take care and good luck....
Thanks you are so right. Time is getting near and I have 8 hours of tape to record the all day session these people are planning for me. I've had rolling migraines in spite of everything...do I need to say the word paranoid, distrustful? My attorney sent me my statement in duplicate she sent to the appeals board to carry with me so they can't claim they don't have it saying how I feel raped again. Keep me in your prayers next Friday. Wednesday I see my VA Psychiatrist who hasn't see me since I went to Bay Pines inpatient for MST last year! He kept canceling my appontment, can you believe that? He too is going to get an earful. Luckily I have a good counselor at the vet center. Forget Mental health here, you could die for all they care.
The important thing is to have someone that is treating you that listens and understands how to treat PTSD/MST. I have gotten rid of female mental health providers at the Seattle VA that were just plain jerks. I keep having nightmares were I wake up hitting. Take Care, Sally
Well, tomorrow is the day I go for multiple C&P exams. I talked with my Psychiatrist today and my attorney. He said if I could take tranquilizers he certainly would give me one today! Since they have a disinhibiting effect on me he was afraid I might do harm on someone tomorrow so he didn't. I also saw my neurologist earlier this week and he was incredulous about the VA wanting to do a pelvic for PTSD. What do they think they are going to find he asked? That is a good question. They are going to insert a probe while my bladder is full and scan inside and out. If that makes sense to anyone please let me know. What do they think they will find? The men's *****'s? I have been crying today and feel so vulnerable but my attorney says if I refuse the VA can use that as an excuse to turn down my appeal. Who ever heard of this!
It cost me days lost sleep, migraines the size of golf balls and rolling panic attacks, carpet wear from floor pacing and even though I'm still anxious I feel somewhat better. 
That's my story folks 
I also saw my neurologist earlier this week and he was incredulous about the VA wanting to do a pelvic for PTSD. What do they think they are going to find he asked? That is a good question. They are going to insert a probe while my bladder is full and scan inside and out. If that makes sense to anyone please let me know. What do they think they will find? The men's *****'s? I have been crying today and feel so vulnerable but my attorney says if I refuse the VA can use that as an excuse to turn down my appeal. Who ever heard of this!
