I'm feeling low tonight.

What's that? Oh, what happened (this time)?

It's that damned picture. I saw it again.

Where? Oh, I was down at that coffee shop --you know the one that issued those 2for1 coffee coupons with the proprieter that doesn't mind if someone gets one coffee, sits and works a couple of hours, then gets the second one and works on?

Yeah, I know I've been there before, but I never went down the hallway to the back where the restrooms are before. That's where it is, on the side of the hallway, halfway.

Didn't even realize what it was --just a big picture hanging on the wall-- on my way in. You know how it is when you gotta go.

But then I came back down the hall with nothing much on my mind, and there it was.

I missed a step. None of the patrons was watching though. I turned my head and kept on going with no more than a glimpse.

Why does that scene bother me SO much? I was never in Viet Nam. I never knew anyone personally who died there. I don't recognize any of the names. What could possibly hit me so hard I can't stand and look at that damned picture?

Huh? yeah, yeah, okay...I owe my life to Stan, and he WAS over there, and he went through hell when he came back...but HE CAME BACK.

I've seen a billion pictures, photographs, abstracts, statues, and tombstones in rows from all sorts of armed conflicts before and after I served my country myself, and felt anger, sadness, pride, confusion, but none of them gut-punch like this. Why does my breath catch in my throat and tears well up, no matter how stupid it is, whenever I see those ghostly figures reaching out from their side of it to touch fingertips with the sorrowing man on this side...of the wall?

I saw it again.

But this time was different. This time

I knew it was going to be there.

I went back to the coffee shop, and worked.

When I needed to use the restroom I went

down the hall and reached

out

and touched fingertips with the picture.

As it flashed by

Via peripheral vision, only half seen.

Okay, I am gonna try something different here, I know I dont usually do these kind of poems so bare with me on this one, one of my first mushy ones..



My New Love

For years my heart was broken
The love I thought I had a token
So we parted our seperate ways
Loneliness I felt for many days

Then one night while surfing the net
A new woman, beautiful, I gladly met
We talked for several days and nights
Then we met and my heart did take flight

We talked and laughed all night long
We shut down the club, missed every song
I stared into her wonderful, pretty face
My pulse and heart did start to race

Its been many days since our first meeting
All the joy I have now in me is beating
My soul free from anger and pain
The love for one, has finally wain

This new lady I think of every day
Just to be near her, any price I will pay
So free, so happy, my beautiful dove
I have found now, my New Love.

Raymond L.
Author, November 2007

The night sky on Christmas Eve 2007. It was cold and clear. The full new moon glowed and there was one bright star nearby. Reminding me that God is always near. Sally

The Biker

We are bikers, blood, flesh and bone
We ride to work, to play and back home
Riding is not a bad thing we do
Were not going to mess with you

We ride with do rags, leathers and boots
we call our bikes names like two wheel scoots
I stop at the stop signs, and at the red lights
I wave to your kids as you stare with fright

What you dont know is the love we all have
When one of us is hurt, we all feel very sad
We are mothers, sisters, brothers and dads
I ride my bike often, that dont make me bad

You say we are rotten, troubler makers all
I ride my bike for our military called
When they come home in a flagged draped coffin
Sadly I fear that happens to often

Did you see me stand out in the rain
Did you see me cry tears of sadness and pain
I ride for the children, who have not a thing
I buy them toys, balls, bats and trains

I ride to be free for this great land
To enjoy it and love it as best as I can
I move down the road with joy and glee
You stare, honk and act like you dont see me

I may look like a bad guy to you
All dressed in black like I do
But most of our hearts are pure and true
We stand for a country of red, white and blue

So wave at us next time that your out
You might be surprised, we'll give ya a shout
Some of us are normal, some of us fun
Some dont ride often, others a ton

I may not look like a million dollars
But remember us, our bikes are much smaller
So look out for us as you drive around
We might be a friend that your running down

Did you see us by hundreds, and more
Helping our brothers, sisters and the poor
We ride for charities, shelters and such
A price to help that isnt really that much

We ride to honor and help in all kinds of weather
Sometimes pouring rain, soaked in our leathers
But we do it with pride, honor and joy
To raise money for cancer, girls and boys

Women with problems, abused and in fear
We answer the call, we go when we hear
To stand at the door, to watch for our friends
Hoping against hope they will come home again

So I will not stop riding, that I will not
Not for cold, for rain, or summer when its hot
So if you see me out crusin around
I am not here to trouble your town

You want to enjoy nature, grass fields and trees
Then hop on a bike and get your knees in the breeze
Cause I am a biker, blood, flesh and bone
I ride to work, to play and back home.

Ray L.
December 2007

I dedicate this to Papawdude, and good friend and like a father to me......



Without My Friend.

A breath in the air
Wind blows, do I care
I see things different now
I move on, I dont know how

Its been so many days
Cost is high, that I pay
I cant see you, your not here
Constant sadness is what I fear

I laugh now, but its not the same
My life is still full of pain
Seems the world will forever change
Without you, I roam and I range

Through this world of so much pain
My tears, God, they fall like rain
I cant see you or hear your voice
I was not given or asked my choice

Such is life, that, I know is true
It does not stop me from being blue
I know my friend, I must move on
But how, my friend, you were my sun

You gave me hope, when there was none
You brightened my day, calling me son
I felt happy, alive, laughing and well
Seems now, my life is full of hell

I try for you, to overcome my tears
Throw away the sadness, pain and fears
You are resting, up there, that I know
Watching me down here like a show

I hope you can hear me, my truest friend
I will not forget you, until my very end
I will move on, life will not stop
I am not at the bottom, nor at the top


Sometimes pain is easy, sometimes its not
Have to move on, tangles and the Knots
Life is happy sometimes, but not for me
Sadness, pain and sorrow are what I see

Why my friend, did you have to go so soon
Are you there watching, behind the moon
Guide me again, my long lost friend
Show me how to make this pain end

You once said, and I use it like a tool
Life is not easy, there are no set rules
You cant pick your life, and you cant choose
Be the best at it you can, then you dont lose

Hold no regrets, learn from the past
Everything you do has meaning that will last
Only you can choose to live a good life
With meaning, love without strife

I hold those words to my heart and mind
You were and will always be one of a kind
My joy is now saddened, but its not gone
I hope life has put me where I belong

To have you as a friend, an honor it was
My life had more meaning, and it still does
To have known you in my life was fun
Goodbye my friend, from, your son.

Ray L.
Feb, 2008

This message has been edited. Last edited by: THANKUVETS,

For all my brothers and sisters on this Memorial Day weekend who live in this world with me.

WELCOME HOME!!!




In The Darkness

As I sit here all alone
In the darkness of my home
The memories have come again
I stare at the trees as they bend
I hate the sorrow, anger and the pain
A cold and lonely night of rain

They have come again to cause me grief
These demons of memories give no relief
I wonder if they will go away
Sometimes they haunt me for days
I cant stand this anymore
Its hurts down to my very core

Why cant I make them stop
My head feels like its going to pop
It feels so bad to lose control
Like I don’t have authority of my soul
I find my self staring at the walls
Or pacing up and down the halls

What I wouldn't give for one nights rest
My spouses arm across my chest
Another memory has crossed my mind
Stealing another hour or day of my time
Will these demons never go away
Must I suffer everyday

I have watched the hands on the clock
So much time has passed, that I am shocked
Here is the daylight and still no peace
These demons have given no release
All the family has now awaken
One more night that I have taken

I spend my day as if nothings wrong
But I am scared to death all day long
I know the demons are waiting there
In the hours of darkness and despair
Within myself I know I am smart
But anger and sadness control my heart

Dinner time has come again
Kids off to bedtime I do send
Spouse lays down and starts to creep
Off to that land of magical sleep
As I sit here all alone
In the darkness of my home

Author
Raymond Lee
Feb, 2003

MANY THANKS TO ALL YOU VETERANS AND TO THOSE WHO ARE SERVING!!!!!!!

Happy Memorial Day. This special day was established to honor our Veterans.

DON'T FORGET THAT!

We must never forget who gets the credit for the freedoms we have, of which we should be eternally grateful.

KEEP THIS GOING PLEASE
I watched the flag pass by one day, it fluttered in the breeze.
A young Marine saluted it and then he stood at ease.
I looked at him in uniform, so young, so tall, so proud
with hair cut square and eyes alert, he'd stand out in any crowd.

I thought how many men like him had fallen through the years.
How many died on foreign soil, how many mothers' tear.
How many pilots' planes shot down? How many died at sea
How many foxholes were soldiers' graves? No, freedom isn't free.

I heard the sound of Taps one night, when everything was still,
I listened to the bugler play and felt a sudden chill.
I wondered just how many times that Taps had meant "Amen”,
When a flag had draped a coffin of a brother or a friend.
I thought of all the children, of the mothers and the wives,
of fathers, sons and husbands with interrupted lives.
I thought about a graveyard at the bottom of the sea
of unmarked graves in Arlington. No, freedom isn't free.

Enjoy Your Freedom & God Bless Our Troops

When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our Troops. Of all the gifts, you could give a U.S SOLIDER PRAYER IS THE VERY BEST ONE!

Happy Father's Day to all you Dads!! This includes step Dad's too!! Sally

From Wisehearts: Like a colorful rainbow over shadows the sky It's colors give hope as it hangs from on high , You brighten my life as you over shadow me Peace floods my soul and sets my spirit free I fell safe with you every time you're near .The courage you supply wipes away every fear.

Bob, thank you for that, I recently sent that to a VA hospital to a friend, just to give him hope.. to know he was not alone..

I went to see him, and when I walked on the floor, little did I know that he told everyone I was coming up..

There on the wall, was my poem, and all these vets were clapping... I have never in m life felt so ashamed as I did that moment..

As usual I started to tear up, as you know my life has been hell lately, the newest chapter is my EX took off with my kids, and I dont know where there at..

Anyway, I turned away and was gonna leave, when I hear, RAY!!! STOP!!! HE knows how I felt, and this guy comes up, didnt know him, but he was a Vietnam Vet had the hat on..

He walked up, slow, but walking, he looked me right in the eye, he said son, that poem, it touched me, enough that I went and got help I am newly enrolled in a program for depression. Thanks to you..

I about feel down... I mean, I, I am no one, I did nothing, and here are all these men, men I consider my heroes, and there standing for me???

Several gave me hugs, one whispered to me, I would have been proud to call you brother..

AS you can figure, I lost it.... My friend gave me a hug, he said, Ray, in life choices are what they are, you chose not to serve, yes, you regret it now, but you have also chose to do what you can to help. There are few people that are as dedicated to helping Vets.. I WILL call you brother...

To this day, I still feel ashamed Bob, I cant change that, they should never had stood for me, I am the one that should be standing for them... IT took him months to convince me to accept that I did it to help, and he did it cause alot of men have read my poems and some have opened up more....

I have several, and even though I most of my stuff is stupid, poorly written, I do it for me, to help me deal with my problems.

In the Darkness was meant for me, to explain how I felt every night, and yet, now? These men have taken it to help them??

I find that hard to believe that anything I have wrote could help anyone, I have not written anything for a long time, I feel worthless to try to capture what I dont know..

Even though one guy read the Silent walk and he said that pretty much summed it up...

This weekend I am making a solo journey to Angel Fire NM, to visit the Vietnam Memorial there. I need to see it, need to talk to my cousin, the time has come for me to make peace with my loss... and my anger...

My fear... I dont know what will happen. I am leaving my heart open to whatever comes..

I will say a prayer at the chapel there for all who wish me too..

Thank you Bob, seeing someone else post that has made this decision to go all the more important...

Thanks for all your contributions!

Had a good time on the trip, saw alot of wildlife..

I said goodbye to Johnny, I still feel wierd about it, but I am better with it now.. I did say the prayers for all those that wanted it..

I left some things there, bullets, patches etc..

I lit a few candles for those that have gone from us..

I didnt get to do as much thinking as I wanted as I got caught in alot of rain.

But the trip was very nice, and did some contemplating as I rode..

Thanks to all of you..

Live without.

I sit upon the shore of dread
Another day, alone to bed
I sing a sad song of fear
No one to call my dear

Sit upon the moons shadowed night
Pressure fills me with fright
I see so much happiness and joy
My heart is tossed about like a toy

To hear the sweet words of my love
Whispering in the night like a dove
Calling to me, as if from a dream
I awake alone, no one for me it seems

So I go and search the wind
Where is my love, a best friend
I yearn for just a simple touch
I wish to love someone so much.

Sept 2008
RL.

Remember

I've fought.
I've killed.
I've done my best
But now a crimson tide ebbs from my chest
To wet the grass and stain the ground
While stinging flies swarm all around
And man-made Hell tears at the sky
Heedlessly, while I lay and die
Cold
And alone
Half a world away from home.

Oh God. The pain. The Pain! The PAIN!!
Twists my body. Sears my brain.
Gasping breath through gnashing teeth;
The hand I long to hold is out of reach.

Now the loneliness, the chaos, the pain
All begin to fade
And I find to my surprise
That I am not afraid.
Now the darkness gathers,
I can no longer see.
My God. My Country
Remem... remember...



©Copyright 1980 by Harold E. Keim
Written for Sp/5 Harry Suttler
KIA: September 17, 1970
Near Camp Bearcat RSVN

Please be careful in the use of previously copyrighted material. There are severe restrictions on the use of such materials...but thanks for your thoughts.

Veteran

He smells of mothballs, standing in the light;
His faded jacket and his medals old, his fight
Some boring lesson taught in dusty schools,
His victories all obsolete, a tale of fools,
A sudden rush to war.
He knows the varied reasons
It was for.

But once a year the veteran puts on his cap,
His uniform, if he can close the gap,
And watches all the flags go by,
Concealing what they mean, to live and die.
The soldiers pass, so young, and little know
They too will watch
As others go.

For each brave death recalls a fallen friend
The old man knew, some end
Too terrible to tell such earnest innocence,
Too hard to speak as if it made some sense.
He knows in silence, young men die
To teach the varied reasons
Flags should fly.

© Cortland Richmond 2002

Be careful to not post copyrighted material on this site.

Thanks so much!

>>OldAFcop
Posted Tue 11 November 2008 08:17 AM
Be careful to not post copyrighted material on this site.

Thanks so much!<<

FWIW:
In this case it's OK: I wrote it. Generally speaking, *everything* one writes is copyrighted as soon as it is written. Including the notice tells others I retain the right to use my own work elsewhere as I see fit.

Regards,

Cortland

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