What you have related is not new, believe me. Its as old as time itself.
My human experience with these air-headed bimbos go back to WWII, Korean and Nam. What always made me laugh was the reflective emphasis place on their husbands' rank, for example: My husband is a FIRST lieutenant, or my husband is a FULL colonel.
Stay in there Anita and remember: ILLEGITIMI NON CARBORUNDUM
My husband and I have pretty much stopped attending military social functions for this very reason. I'm a retired Chief; my husband,a Chief before being accepted into the LDO program, is now a LT. We really don't fit in with either officer or enlisted group. Officers our age are usually LCDRs or above. Too many times, we've gotten the cold shoulder from spouses (usually female, wearing their husband's rank, but sometimes from the officers themselves), first because my husband is only a LT, and then because (gasp!) he's prior enlisted, and then (double gasp!) because I'm retired enlisted. The Chiefs can always be counted on to welcome fellow Chiefs, but the fraternization policy keeps us from becoming too involved as a couple, unless the Chiefs are outside my husband's COC, or from another command all together. We're proudly associated with the Mustangs, but their numbers are few, and at mixed social gatherings, we often find oursleves orbiting just outside the officer and enlisted groups. Fortunately, we enjoy each other's company and are capable of living lives outside the military socal group. Though, I'll admit, I do miss talking to people who undertand where I'm coming from; civilians really don't get it (no insult, just fact).
Anita, your husband's a lucky man, & I think you & my wife would get along splendidly.
The unit I was assigned to in Desert Storm had a "Wive's group" even before our deployment. & my Commander's wife was the "point-person," but she, my wife & many other wives felt the same as you--rank didn't matter. They were able to support one another in a whole range of issues that "rank" would have been an obstacle to. & because of this, "worrying about my wife & if she could get help when she needed it" was not something any of us in that unit needed to be concerned with during the war thankfully.
Sorry to say, this issue of "spouses assuming rank" is still too widespread. The U.S. Army needs more spouses like you!
During my military career, I saw this far too many times; as a Civil Engineer in the Air Force, we dreaded going to do any work on the Air Force Systems commander's Home on Andrews AFB, Belle Chance, because his wife was insufferable. The general, by contrast, was great. His wife was a real battle-axe!
Originally posted by aragorn57: During my military career, I saw this far too many times; as a Civil Engineer in the Air Force, we dreaded going to do any work on the Air Force Systems commander's Home on Andrews AFB, Belle Chance, because his wife was insufferable. The general, by contrast, was great. His wife was a real battle-axe!
My wife use to work at ITT on base here on Elmendorf and she told me all kinds of stories about both officer and enlisted. Hell one of the officers wifes wanted the ITT office to be open on the weekends because it was easier for her to get there. I say F them all
Wow, it is nice to see that some individuals feel the same as I . I too am prior navy my husband a former chief now reitred. For years I have agreed that to many wifes carrier the husband rank on their sleves. I have for years tried to remind every wife from the Commanding Officer to the the lowest Enlisted sailor. Dependents are dependents. We all have the same privlieges and most important we all carry the same color ID card. We should not give special privleges to officer wifes just because their spouse is a officer. Admiral Kelly once told a story to his command at CINCLANTFLT. One day while he was TAD on travel he told his Yeoman she could park her vehicle in his parking spot while he was gone. Well to her surprise when she left to go home that evening her car was gone! The admiral wife had some shopping to do on base and when she saw a strange car parked in the Admiral assigned parking space. She called base security to have it towed. Well when the admiral returned from TAD he asked his Yoeman how it worked out parking in his spot while he was gone. She replied great except base security towed my car and I had to pay a fine. When he went home that night he told the story to his wife. He was shocked to learn that it was her that had the car towed. He told his command how he lectured his wife on the rights of privledge. She is not active duty nor is she a admiral. His parking spot and any other parking spots marked for admirals. Was just that for admirals only. She had no entitlement to park in his spot ever. Spouses are not active duty and need to remember that. I would gladly give my parking spot to a hard working sailor then to my wife who holds no rank or is enlisted in the service. This was not to be mean or embarasse his wife, but to explain to her she holds no rank in the military.
Sad to say this is true too many places still. The best Family Readiness Group (FRG) I saw was ran by a Captain's wife (he is a LTC now) and she said "there was no rank in this room".
It became part of my signature block, "There is no rank in FRG" and core believe while I assisted with both a battalion and brigade FRG.
This held true for many of us who were spouses and veterans and even those spouses who were active duty.
When I assumed command of an air defense radar station, I learned that my predecessor`s wife was one of those who considered herself Mrs Commander. At our first social function, I introduced my wife, with her foreknowledge, as "just another civilian, like all of the wives here". We got a standing ovation!
Wow, your comments were so insightful. I especially liked the story with the admiral telling his wife that she was not part of the service. It's true - as dependents we are part of the large military family, but we don;t have rank. It's nice to have friends and forget what their husbands do or what their ranks are and just enjoy their company if we get along of course! It's good to know there are many people who don;t place emphasis on rank. We should all have our own rank-less club! Anita
when i first got to germany, they have a headstart class and every incoming personnel have to attend, family members are also incouraged to attend, then the person giving the class said all officers to the front please, and the wifes started going to the front, and then the instructor said," i said officers" you just have to see the expression of their faces it was classic. also one time i was doing gate guard and a wife of a col. is coming in the gate, i checked the i.d card and said have a nice day maam, and she said arent you gonna salute. so i told her i only salute officers.
Yep! Exactly why I do not attend the social functions. I just don't care to get involved in all of that.
Yes, I *should probably* go to the functions and support it going in an all "rank" inclusive sort of mindset. HOWEVER, I just don't wish to get involved in their silly politics.
Our Squadron Spouse's group is for either enlisted or officer spouse's. But seems that only officer wives attend. Us enlisted wives have been pushed out of helping - I guess we can't organize a cookie bake? Not high class enough or something...
Oh well! I just go to work and go home and not bother with the whole thing. It works better for me.
Reminds me when I was a 2nd LT on active duty with a National Guard unit at Ft Knox (1960): I played (tried to) golf at the officers club golf course when a foursome of women came along "we are Colonel's wife and we want to play through"! I packed my gear and went to the NCO Club golf course with some of our enlisted men. Had no problem, I was Walt, enjoyed the course and never went back to the officers club except for "command performances".
LOL, I'll get flack from this one but thats why I never rendered a salute to any Officers kids of wives. They didn't deserve it nore will they ever in my book. The officer is the one who took the oath as with my own wife, unfortionatly she was along for the ride but she never once felt that she was owed one iota from anyone. The whole I'm an officer your enlisted thing is a bunch of BS IMO also. I can understand as fare as getting the job done etc, etc, but for pete sake! a dinner? Gimmie a break. Oh, I cant sit with the lance Cpl because I am a butter bar with less time in service than him yet I am held at a higher reputation because I passed a few test that say i can read a book for 4 years? Gimmie a break. I would put up a Sgt Maj against any 05 and below anyday and see who can lead and make better decisions in there current MOS. OH, and before some of you throw the axe at me, the salute was a DoD directive when I was a DoD police officer. Although I didn't have to render a salute to anyone due to me being a civilian, the idiot squid who was an all powerfull 0-3 tried to tell us that it was a regulation but I only saluted General Officers and if you happened to sport the POW plate on your car or was a retiered war bird looking in the 60's or older, I did out of choice for respect and gratitude. Semper Fi
I for one believe this topic should not be a factor. My wife spends all her time in the kitchen, and if she dare come out of the kitchen much less go to a social function; I would lay the smack down. You may find this oppressive. I find it empowering.
Back as a GySgt, I did back-to-back MEUs. During the first float, my wife acted as a Key Wife volunteer. During the second float, my wife was the Key Wife Coordinator. It was during the second float that some of the MEU officers' wives approached the MEU Commander's wife to form an officers wives club, in addition to the Key Wife Volunteers group. At the first meeting of the officers wives club, the MEU Commander's wife walked in and stated you have your club, and I want nothing to do with it. She was a neat lady.
When I was in the Army, back in 1999, I had Staff Duty one night. The front door to the Command building where I was sitting on staff duty had an electronic door lock with keypad. due to the nature of the classified material in the building, from confidential all the way to Top Secret or higher, only people who had access to the building after hours were people from the command with the secret keypad code, which was changed bi monthly.From my position on staff duty, I could see the front door also. So at around 1900hrs, after hours the Colonel's wife comes up to the door, presses the authorization code into the keypad and walks in right past me. I say excuse me ma'am, she keeps right on walking into the command section. No sign in, no nothing. If an enlisted person or maybe junior officer had given their wife the code to the building, they'd be in jail or thrown out of the military. Dont do as I do, do as I say...The officer way.
Just to add this into the mix, what about those units that expect the senior leaders wives to get involved in all sorts of morale building events. My former commanders wife has been told by the squadron she needs to set up and run the ice cream socials and such, even thought she never did that sort of thing in our previous squadron.
While its true that some Officers wives expect the "pecking order" of wives to follow the command strructure, there are a few different situations. While a brand new young 18 year old Marine at Pendleton at Christmas 67, my Platoon Leaders wife, an "older" woman of 23 invited all the young Marines of his platoon who could not get home over for Christmas Dinner. During the time there she insisted we all call our families on their phone. It was a wonderful day for a bunch of lonly kids away from home for the first time and an example of an officers wife helping her husband take care of his men. Her only complaint was that at 23 she could not get used to being called "Maam" so much.
