O.K. you salty dogs - can you understand all of this?

ARE YOU REGULAR NAVY?

Willy and me were lollygagging by the scuttlebutt after being aloft to boy-butter up the antennas and were just perched on a bollard eyeballing a couple of bilge rats and flangeheads using crescent hammers to pack monkeyshit around a fitting on a handybilly.

All of a sudden the dicksmith started hard-assing one of the deck apes for lifting his pogey bait. The pecker-checker was a sewer pipe sailor and the deckape was a gator. Maybe being black shoes on a bird farm surrounded by a
gaggle of cans didn't set right with either of those gobs.

The deck ape ran through the nearest hatch and dogged it tight because he knew the peeniss machinist was going to lay below, catch him between decks and punch him in the snot locker. He'd probably wind up on the binnacle list but
Doc would find a way to gundeck the paper or give it the deep six to keep himself aboveboard.

We heard the skivvywaver announce over the beeyotch box that the breadburners had creamed foreskins on toast and SOS ready on the mess decks, so we cut and run to avoid the clusterscrew when the twidgets and cannon cockers knew chow was on.

We were balls to the wall for the barn and everyone was preparing to hit the beach as soon as we doubled-up and threw the brow over. I had a ditty bag full of fufu juice that I was gonna spread on thick for the bar hogs with those sweet bosnias. Sure beats the hell out of brown bagging. Might even hit the Acey-Deucy club and try to hook up with a WESTPAC widow. They were always leaving snail trails on the dance floor on amateur night.

If you understand this, you're Regular Navy.

Goldangit, that was a dickens to get posted without a bunch of *****'s throughout!

Faith and begora me Lad, that be a bunch of slang ye be slingin' But it is somethin' this ole boy ain't heard in years ya know.

Just for fun I've translated your naval talk even further back in time


Arrr, so ye be wantin' t' go to sea an' ye don't be wantin' t' end up in Davy Jones' Locker. Then ye best be learnin' t' be talkin' like a buccaneer.

A sea dog says 't this way:

Willy an' me be lollygaggin' by th' scuttlebutt after bein' aloft t' boy-butter up th' antennas an' be jus' perched on a bollard eyeballin' a couple o' bilge rats an' flangeheads usin' crescent hammers t' pack monkeyshit around a fittin' on a handybilly.

All o' a sudden th' dicksmith started hard-assin' one o' th' deck apes fer liftin' his pogey bait. Th' pecker-checker be a sewer pipe jack an' th' deckape be a gator. Maybe bein' black shoes on a bird farm surrounded by a gaggle o' cans didna set starboard wi' either o' them gobs.

Th' deck ape ran through th' nearest hatch an' dogged 't tight on accoun' o' he knew th' peeniss machinist be goin' t' lay below, catch th' lad's between decks an' punch th' lad's in th' snot locker. He`d probably wind up on th' binnacle list but Doc would find a way t' gundeck th' paper or give 't th' deep six t' keep hisself aboveboard.

We heard th' skivvywa'er announce o'er th' beeyotch box that th' breadburners had creamed foreskins on toast an' SOS ready on th' mess decks, so we cut an' run t' avoid th' clusterscrew when th' twidgets an' cannon cockers knew chow be on.

We be balls t' th' wall fer th' barn an' sea dogs an' land lubbers be preparin' t' hit th' beach as soon as we doubled-up an' threw th' brow over. I had a ditty bag full o' fufu juice that I be gonna spread on thick fer th' bar hogs wi' them sweet bosnias. Sure beats th' hell ou' o' brown baggin'. Might e'en hit th' Acey-Deucy club an' try t' hook up wi' a WESTPAC widow. They be always leavin' snail trails on th' dance deck on amateur night.

If ye understand this, ye`re Regular Navy.

Ya swabbie whut deserves the black spot!


What else ye got? An' be quick about it, I be shippin' out soon!

Damn, I read right through it and didn't even have to pause to think about what was being said. Although I was trying to fugure out what rating Willy and you are.

Since you were using boy butter on the antennas, I would guess ETs because we all know RMs don't leave the shack to do their maintenance. Although you could be STGs, because as I recall they had an annual one on one of their antennas.

Shiver me timbers saltys, I had very little trouble read them ya swabbie, but you mateys sure do have alot of time on ye hands, Arr!



Guess I'm REAL NAVY.

LOL
CE1 (former Deck Seaman)

Well shipmates I believe this little item has shown up before, I was able to go through and understand what was being put forth. Try this site for all your Navy slang needs and answers:
http://www.hazegray.org/faq/slang1.htm
I believe that site should keep old salts out of harms way for several days. Westpac Willie

There's another list on wikipedia (http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:U.S._Navy_slang) that's just USN, and mostly current, I think.

...of course the first thing I did was look up all the slang terms for women... (I want to know what I'm being called, haha)

Hmm, I got a good portion of it but it was funny reading and remembering.
ARRR, ARRR, FC2 C.I.W.S. forever!

Aarr! read this me bilge Rats.. and take heed!!

Here's the scuttlebutt:
Barge right in and swallow the anchor, and let's chew the fat and splice the main brace till we're three sheets to the wind. Listen, you son of a sea cook, I'm tired of minding my P's and Q's. I tell you, I'm all at sea, and this is the bitter end. Nothing I can do will keep this ship on an even keel. Hell's bells! You think I didn't tell it to the old man? Delivered a broadside, I did, but he just called me a loose cannon. Maybe I caught him between wind and water. Listen, mate. You'd better bootleg a bible aboard. We're sailing under false colors, and where we're headed it's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey. It's Davy Jones's locker I'm talking about. The crew was scraped from the bottom of the barrel. They don't know the ropes, and anyway they're deserting like rats from a sinking ship. It's time to fish or cut bait, mate, or there'll be the devil to pay. No use flogging a dead horse. Let's stay armed to the teeth and look for any port in a storm. There'll be nothing but flotsam and jetsam when this tub goes down the hatch.

I like this version

Here`s th' scuttlebutt:
Barge starboard in an' swallow th' anchor, an' let`s chew th' fat an' splice th' main brace till we`re three sheets t' th' wind. Listen, ye lad o' a sea cook, I be tired o' mindin' me P`s an' Q`s. I tell ye, I be all at sea, an' this be th' bitter end. Nothin' I can do will keep this ship on an e'en keel. Hell`s bells! Ye think I didna tell 't t' th' old man? Delivered a broadside, I did, but he jus' called me a loose cannon. Maybe I caught th' lad's between wind an' water. Listen, mate. Ye`d better bootleg a bible aboard. We`re sailin' under false colors, an' 'ere we`re headed 'tis cold enough t' freeze th' balls off a brass monkey. `Tis Davy Jones`s locker I be talkin' about. Th' crew be scraped from th' bottom o' th' barrel. They dasn't know th' ropes, an' anyway they's desertin' like rats from a sinkin' ship. `Tis time t' fish or cut bait, mate, or thar`ll be th' devil t' pay. Nay use floggin' a dead horse. Let`s stay armed t' th' teeth an' look fer any port in a storm. Thar`ll be nothin' but flotsam an' jetsam when this tub goes down th' hatch.
Ya horn swollgin' scallywag!

some European sailors talk of the 2oth Century

"Ye 25th. daye at 11 of ye clocke in ye night, faire weather and smoth ye shippe strooke, I ran to ye poope and hove ye leade and found 3 fadoms watter, 60 men being upon ye decke, 5 of them would not beleave yt she strooke. I cringe to them to beare up and tache to ye westwards, they did ther beste, but ye rock being sharpe ye ship was presentile full of watter, for ye most part of these rocks lie 2 fadoms under watter. It strucke my men in such a mayze when I said ye shippe strooke and they could se neyther breach, land, rocks, change of watter, or signe of danger, ye shippe setting a god while after, yet I had hove ye lead whilst I had brought my sayles a backstaies before she strooke and ? strooke, ye wind began suddenly to freshen and bloweing, I strooke round my sayles and gott out my skiffe, and bid them sound about ye shippe, they found sharpe suncken rockes a half cable lenth astarne noe ground these rockes are steepe to, so I made all ye waye I could to gett out my long boate, and by two of ye clocke I had gotten her out and hanged her in ye tackles on ye side, soe setting ye shippe full of watter and ye winde to increase made all ye meanes I could to save my life and as manie of my compa, as I could."

When a Loose Cannon Flogs a Dead Horse Thar`s th' Devil t' Pay

Ya swabbie who ortin' t' be keel hauled!

Boy does that ever bring back memories. I haven't heard that lingo since I got out IN 64.


PS
That was 1964 by the way.

and the landlubbers one and all give us strange looks.... "they're speaking english papa, but i don't understand a word of it!!" thanks for this one!! now for some real stormy seas... my one and ONLY sweet niece married a damn SNIPE!!! what's this deckape to do?? oh yeah, that's right.... let's go snipe hunting!!