Hey all,
for the women here that are in the military and in a relationship (boyfriend, husband, etc) I was just wondering if you were involved with them before you left for the military or if you met them after you enlisted? Just curious

After. He's from the North. I'm from the South. Would never have met if not for the Corps. Still together 21+ years.

quote:

Originally posted by KMHaley:
Hey all,
for the women here that are in the military and in a relationship (boyfriend, husband, etc) I was just wondering if you were involved with them before you left for the military or if you met them after you enlisted? Just curious

Why are you wondering?

quote:

Why are you wondering?

It amazes me how someone can juggle both being in the military and a relationship/family and thats what I hope to try and do.

quote:

how someone

how some women*

Just make sure you don't end up juggling more than your fair share. Gender roles don't apply when you have to work (especially in the military). Compromise and communication is what makes it work; and an understanding husband/family who knows that you're not always going to be around. They'll have to be able to survive without you, should you have to work 2-3 weeks of 12 hour shifts, or deploy for 6-12 months at a time.

I know that sounds harsh...but a lot of military spouses and family ruin marriages because they expect their needs to come first. I have seen it time after time.

Good luck.

Met my husband while on active duty. Before we had kids it was easy. Having kids makes it more difficult to be sure. It takes dedication and a lot of sacrifice on all everyone’s part. I went to Iraq and missed a lot with regard to my children. My husband was left to take care of the family. Now he is heading over there and I’ll stay here to keep the home fires burning and take care of the kids.

It certainly does take a lot of communication, dedication, and heaps of understanding to ensure a happy household. We both understand the pressure the other faces. That helps tremendously.

But it’s doable. We’re proof of it. My kids are great kids. They are understand that I went to Iraq, they understand that daddy’s going to Iraq – he’s in Cali now doing his pre-deployment training but we won’t see him until his tour is complete. I’m keeping the kids as busy as I can and making sure they have a balance of love, discipline, and fun.

Also, it helps to have a close support group. Naturally this is not always easy if you’re on active duty since you move around a lot.

We’re in the reserves now but the Marine Corps is still keeping us quite busy. While he is gone I have to make arrangement for my kids while I do my 2-3 weeks of active training. And drill weekends I have to farm them out as well. But being reservists we have family close by and they help out a lot. It’s great for the kids since they get to hang out with aunts, uncles, and cousins.

I won’t sugar coat it, it is a ***** much of the time. But for me it’s worth it.

Good luck in whatever decision you make.

I met one military man before I went into the military and I met and dated a few military men after I enlisted into the Army. Wouldn't you know that the one military man I met before I went into the military was stationed on the same fort that I was when I was assgined to my first permanent party on an Army base. We had broken up before I decided to go into military and I truly did not think that I would run into him ever again in life. I guess that's life!

i've known mine for going on 5 years before the military. i havn't left yet (not for a few more months) but so far it was kind of hard. It seems to be getting better though, and I hope I can pull off what some of you have (21+ years later) etc. I'm sure it'll work out.

My boyfriend is enlisted and I'm about to start ROTC in the fall, so while he's off at various forms of training and soon to be deployed, I'm in class and coming home to my comfy bed and shower. lol poor guy!

I met my husband right after boot camp. We were both active duty Navy. Now, I'm a reservist, and he got out altogether. I just got back from Iraq at the end of August last year. My husband stayed home with the kids while I was away. It's hard, but if you have the dedication to your marriage, then you guys can stick it out!! It's definitely a challenge, but it's worth it. Of course, my husband DOES NOT want me to go back to Iraq anytime soon. Although, I would go again in a heartbeat. But, you definitely have to put your family first.

So inspiring!
The last relationship I was in ended a few days before last Christmas. He was a cadet at West Point, which was hard enough as it was being long distance, but we were fully ready to make a commitment to each other through all of his training (Airborne school, Ranger school, etc) and I would support and follow him wherever he goes. After some things in my life changed I was thinking of making the decision to enlist in Active Duty Army. Despite the whole being illegal to have relations between Officer and Enlisted, he couldnt deal with me being in the Army as well and ended it.
I still think of sincerely thanking him for stopping me from following him around and not having my own life, and am so glad I took that step to do something for myself and be apart of something bigger than myself, and hopefully do some great things.

quote:

Originally posted by KMHaley:
he couldnt deal with me being in the Army as well and ended it.

WHAT AN A$$! I'd use another word, but I'm a lady.

I'm active duty Army and my boyfriend is and active duty Marine. Its hard at times being in different branches and being deployed myself in Kuwait and he's in A-stan, but we make it work. We been together for 2 years.

I married both times I served; in the Air Force (to another Airman) and in the Marine Corps (also another AD Marine)...

...I cannot tell you that it was the military factor that dissolved both relationships; for me, it wasn't the issue but it may have been for them (especially my Marine Husband; after he got out after his first enlistment, I remained AD and re-enlisted twice more...).

Today, I still find myself drawn to men that have served/are serving our country honorably; that may be the patriot in me seeking like minded mates...I don't know.

I DO know that there will NOT be a third time no matter what the future holds for me in regards to relationships; long term or not. That's not to say that someday I may find myself with someone I want to commit to long term but, not in wedlock.

I salute all of you ladies that have been able to keep together relationships/marriages of co-military backgrounds and...I pray that you all have happy and long lasting futures.

Semper Fidelis,
Thia

I met mine while on AD. He was in a reconnaissance unit and I was supply. We were apart for most of our marriage either geographically or becuase of his training/deployments. I got out after my first enlistment and we stayed married for 11 yrs, but too much distance over time and differing goals created a rift that couldn't be fixed at the time.

Even though we are no longer married, we are still friends to this day. I don't have a regret trying out a relationship while in the military.

my husband is in the AD navy and i'm getting ready to join the navy reserves. we have a 10 month old baby boy. so it's hard a time but we make it. i want to go AD, but it's not good for the going and coming of deployments. so i will go the slow route and work my way to become an active reservist.


one thing i can say is. make sure you do you. you never know how a relationship is going to be. at times men come and go. so if your heart says join. then you join. cause if he loves you, yall can work it out. if not then that person might not be for you. I'm just saying, you have to make sure you and yours are taken care of. my God be with you.

I met my DH 6 years into my elistment. He was 5 years into his. We were stationed overseas together and got married there.

I got out at the 10 year mark to stay at home with our two kids and he now has 21 years under his belt and is currently in Afghanistan for a year.

It is hard work being married to a military person. It takes alot of compromise and a lot of patience. But it's all worth it if you really love the person.

quote:

Originally posted by KJC88:
Anyone ever had a boyfriend/fiancee/husband who wasn't anything in the military at all, just civilian?

Kim

Yep.