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Military.com Forums Hot Topics & Current Events In the News PTSD: What You Need to Know|
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New Member |
My husband just returned from Iraq and he was okay the first few days but now he is so unpredictable the littlest thing will set him off and he starts to yell at me or my kids. I know he doesnt see his anger. I think he has PTSD but he refuses to talk to anyone can I make him go or do I just wait till he thinks he needs to go. and is this even PTSD? he was never like this before. I just want my love back happy and healthy mentally and physically.Im lost what do I do?
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New Member |
First off my spelling stinks,so bear with me.Ok,now first you must realize that your husband is returning to life as he knew it BEFORE he was exposed to the rigors of war. He was not only trained to leave his life behind as a civilan,but programed to a new way of life. Then that coupled with the strain of the rigors of war,trusting no one,(except his fellow soldiers)under constant mental pressure of battle.He HAD to adjust to this lifestyle in order to survive.He has experinced and seen things that yet he wants to forget,are ever present in his mind. He is wired for battle,but cannot shake what he was trained to do & his experinces over there. Yes,he could have PTSD but that is for a phyc.Dr. to determine. Tell him that I as a brother NOT to let his pride stand in the way of getting treated. I did for years and not only did I suffer but worst of all my loved ones did.I now take meds & am doing much better. You know what made me seek help? My daughter approached me after me having an "episode" and told me," I just want my old daddy back" She was crying & then so did I. I wanted back to my old self,so I threw aside my false pride,went to the V.A.,saw a phyic. Dr. and started my trip back home. It was slow but eventually was able to return to my old self with a little help.Tell him,"Not all wounds are visable". Get him out of his shell and to step back into his pre-combat life. The wars over,let it go. Tell him I said the best way to take care of himself & his family is to follow what I have laid out for you. Also tell him a "brother" that has been there said that. He will succeed if HE wants to.If he doesn't,well all is lost in the long run.
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Member |
Two thirds of my platoon, at least, reported in to the "Combat Behavioral Health" office in country. Our stats raised a few eyebrows with the Chaplains. It wasn't so much combat, as that we were doing targeting pretty much for the entire Brigade plus. It was 24-7, get it done yesterday, and get it done RIGHT with lives on the line. We were under constant pressure, no days off, and the harder we worked, the more people came to expect from our outfit. Well, we delivered. For 14 months.
But I digress. My point is, help was there when I needed it. The people I saw were social workers, and they were Active Duty Army. They didn't quite understand what I was going through (I was dealing with grief on top of "operational stressors" as they labeled it.) But it definitely helped. Just the act of sitting down, and saying out loud to another human being, "Hey, this is hard. I'm not doing real well some days," was an immense load off my shoulders. It made that mountain I thought I was facing look more manageable. I've done two tours, including in Baghdad for a year back when that place was still rather interesting. But it's not like I ever saw combat, I didn't leave the FOB at all. just about all I've got now that I've left Iraq (for good) is an aversion to crowds, an extreme prejudice against fireworks, and some mild anger management issues. (I keep thinking that last bit has gone away, until it rears its head again...) I don't know what resources are out there for Vietnam Vets. But I was just talking to a Transition Office representative today, and she offered the services of a certified counselor at her office (who would meet you at Starbucks or any other public place you desired, as well as their office), six free sessions by calling Military OneSource and making arrangements with a local civilian counselor, the services of the Active Duty Chaplain on base, the Mental Health Office on base, AND the Vet Center downtown. Alternatively, I could go down to the VA Medical Center. I didn't even ASK this lady for help. This was at the end of a long resume-review session. What I've learned, from briefings and from watching other Veterans (the advantage of being an Iraq or Afghanistan veteran is that you stay with your unit for years at a time, and you can see each other through some of it) is that adjustment is a process EVERYONE goes through. It's normal to be easily startled, a touch irritable, a little freaked out on roads or in crowds, jumpy around loud noises, and a complete insomniac. At first. And this doesn't automatically get you a life-time label of PTSD either. Most everyone has some of the above, for a short time. These things should fade over time, though unfortunately the more serious things like alcohol abuse, nightmares, and anger issues might not show up until six months after you are home. If after a month or two home, things aren't any better, or if at any time you feel out of control or overwhelmed, you should seek help. There's confidential "outside the chain of command" ways to get help, or you can say you're going for marriage or family issues if it's easier. They aren't going to magically cure you. But there's also no good reason to go it alone, if you think about it. And they might very well be able to help. Just hope some of this can help the Vietnam-era Veterans, too. I'm pretty sure at least the Vet Centers would be able to help. http://www.vetcenter.va.gov/ |
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Member |
Be patient, friend. Irritability is a normal adjustment issue. He's probably not sleeping terribly well either, which doesn't help. Funny how you can sleep through all kinds of mortars in Iraq, and then come back home and be rattled at night for the first month or so... Give him time. Be supportive, try to use a little humor if you can (without demeaning him in the least, of course) to get his inhibitions down. Honestly, you can't MAKE him do anything. You can bring it up, but it has to be his idea, really. You're going to need a lot of patience and resolve. Likely he'll be a lot better in a few months. But he is going to be different from before. It changes people. Not necessarily for the worse either! It's just going to take some time to adjust. Thank you so much for your support. It is military spouses that hold so much of this operation together... Please contact your local Chaplain or Military OneSource if YOU feel overwhelmed, though. |
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New Member |
yea that would be a nice question.. we came home to an ungratefull nation and people who turned their backs on us, we were the scourge of humanity.. i would like a comment on the purple heart,, i dont want it.. and i am 70PTSD and worse their docs say but benefits are the same.. yes i get 100% P & T. but they should read about the after effects of PTSD.. when i saw my counseler last month he handed me a sheet showing that because of our PTSD in essense our bodys were cooking our viens..so i think maybe a purple vien would be approperate/ptsd causes heart probs, blood pressure, nuropothy, loss of sleep and no pun tang.. it degenerates ones body slowly yr after yr untill we are aged before our time..we are worn out, slow, angry mean and dont give a crap much cause if we do we set n cry for no reason. this country turned its back and now i turn mine.. **** em all |
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Member |
I used to go to one fishing hole but didn't always catch fish. As I learned I not only tried other fishing holes and also took or followed others to fishing hole.
Still, I don't always catch fish but sharing and finding other fishing holes make it a lot easier when the fish aren't cooperating. PTSD: You can't handle it alone and you can't follow one rut and expect the quality of life to get better. |
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Experienced Member |
You want help with your PTSD? Listen to 80% of the folks on here, they all have answers. Or you can go to the VAMC and get professional help. Vet Centers specialize in PTSD. Or do nothing, and get used to being a little bit nuts.
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Highly Experienced Member |
I was diagnosed PTSD many years ago, medication has allowed me to function perty much normaly for many years, anyone suffering from PTSD should not hesitate to seek help, help is out there!
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New Member |
No offense but using all capital letters makes your post hard to read. |
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New Member |
I was involved/witnessed a very violent, messy, death some years ago. ( nothing criminal- it was accidental ).
I went through a period of time when without warning the scene would just arrive before my eyes and replay itself. If I saw things that reminded me of it- again it would cause me to find a private place to deal with it. Guys, and Gals, it doesn't go away. You either learn to make friends with it or you allow it to dominate you. No one answer can solve every problem, we all process what we see differently and therefore not one case of PTSD is alike. Some can deal with it on their own, others can't, there is no shame either way. The most important thing to remember is you're not the only one, help is available. If you have family and it is destroying your relations with them then you need to get help now, not tomorrow, now. Your wives and children didn't go to war, you did and you should want to protect them from the effects of it. If your getting nowhere with the VA then go find a VFW or any gathering of vets, if you ask from help from fellow vets someone will help you. Just the chance to talk to others who know what you went through will help out alot. |
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Experienced Member |
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New Member |
Thank you. I'll stay away from all caps.
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Experienced Member |
Excellent post, good info.  I would also advise visiting a Vet Center. Its funded by the VA but less clinical...more "vet friendly" than the hospital. |
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New Member |
I am a veteran, a mental health doc, and a was successfully treated for PTSD. I am disabled but do not claim the title 'disabled vet' because my disability (and PTSD) were not war related.
I can speak to the 'does it ever go away?' issue but the answer is SOMETIMES. There are a variety of treatments that have been PROVEN to work for PTSD. ("Emotional Freedom Technique" is NOT one of them). Treatments that have been shown to work include the following: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR); Cognitive Processing Therapy, Proloinged Exposure therapy. There are some new types of treatment in development including use of virtual reality desensitization (essentially an incredibly realistic video game of the patient's trauma that he and his therapist use to treat the anxiety related to memories and triggers). Medications can sometimes significantly improve some symptoms but do not cure PTSD. (There are also new medicines in development that may do better than what we have now, what is used now is MUCH better than what we had in the 1970s and 1980s when my career started). Some of these treatments have a 70 - 80 percent success rate with some types of PTSD, (success defined by significantly reduced symptoms OR complete remission of symptoms). Regretably the types of trauma experienced in civilian life - assault, accidents, and natural disasters are often easier to treat and treated more successfully than war trauma. Civilian trauma that causes PTSD is often a one time event which makes it easier and often not caused deliberately, and for some other reasons is often less severe. It is often hard to find good treatment - and often the first mental health doctor or type of treatment doesn't work. And it is entirely possible to find a therapist who will offer their own treatment (but not one of the proven ones). [Group treatment with one of the techniques mentioned above DOES work too - you don't have to find an individual therapist]. Supportive treatment can help with symptom management and better coping. The treatments mentioned above often resolve or greatly improve many symptoms. My treatment was successful in eliminating most of my symptoms completely - I don't know if they should be called 'cured' or in 'remission'. A broken bone can heal completly and still be vulnerable to being broken more easily the second the the first time it was hit. There are a few other things I'd like to say. If you or a loved one has symptoms related to war trauma there is about a 60% chance they will improve in the first year after trauma (if the onset of PTSD is not 'delayed'). The symptoms that don't resolve or improve in a year probably will not get much better without treatment. It is entirely possible to go through several ineffective treatments and still recover when you find the right one. Recovery is very likely to take a lot longer than you (and your family) wish/need it to. Damage YOU do to your life in addition to PTSD will make recovery harder - I'm talking about alchohol, drugs, and uncontrolled anger towards, excessive need for control, or avoidance of people who love you. The treatment that never helps is the treatment you never get or follow through with. If you have a dumb mechanic who can't fix your car you can find a better mechanic or give up. Give up and the car won't fix itself. No one choses to have PTSD, and most people are coping the best they can at the time. But just cause you didn't cause or chose the PTSD (or depression or addiction) doesn't mean it's not up to you to take responsibility for healing or coping with it. . Winston Churchill knew a lot about war and courage, two of his best quotes are, "Success is the ability to go from failure to failure with no loss in enthusiasm" or more simply, "If you're going through hell, KEEP GOING". Don't give up on yourself, on your life, or on the fact that things can get better if you don't quit. Psychological and behavioral problems can't be 'cured' by someone else who does something for or to you. But you can find ways to heal and people to help. |
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New Member |
CORRECTION - A broken bone can be broken more easily the second than the first time it was hit. |
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New Member |
yes this will be be with you till the day you die.you must live with it.that the thing here.
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Military.com Forums Hot Topics & Current Events In the News PTSD: What You Need to Know
