RE: http://www.military.com/opinio...15202,205187,00.html

Someone in my family is currently struggling with sex addiction (of which porn addiction is a subset), and Sex Addicts Anonymous -- or SAA (sexaa.org) -- has really helped. It's a 12-step program similar to that of Alcoholics Anonymous or Overeaters Anonymous, in which fellow addicts share stories, discuss addiction and recovery, and help each other avoid "acting out". Of course, the addict has to first admit he/she has a problem, but often that first step will help relieve some of the stress involved, and help the addict (and his/her family) begin to heal.

I would also suggest the book "In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior".

What is the purpose of starting this thread? Did I miss some in the translation?

Just pointing out where you can get help

I posted that information because it looked like today's "Ask Miss Vicki" column could use a bit more information on resources for those with a porn addiction.

"I had the police escort him out of the house for a short time, so he could think about his disrespectful actions."


No wonder he is surfing the net to get his jollies off! Sounds like the poor guy has much more to worry about than an addiction, like finding the money to pay for a decent divorce attorney!!!

Where do we get these Hero's?

quote:

I had the police escort him out of the house for a short time, so he could think about his disrespectful actions

I wouldn't be thinking about my past actions. I would be thinking about my future actions.
To me, calling the cops on me, just to enforce her will would be a deal breaker.
I would then enforce my will, divorce.

Shockey

It occurs to me that this is the kind of thing that should really be talked about before marriage. My first wife couldn't stand that I occasionally looked at porn, but she was the kind of spouse who always found fault and wanted to "fix" me. We had the typical whirlwind courtship immediately prior to my Gulf War deployment, and really shouldn't have married in the first place.

My second wife knew that I sometimes view porn before we even started dating, so it wasn't an issue. As a matter of fact, we had several frank discussions about how we viewed sex and commitment before moving in together.

I wonder if this couple did anything of the sort.

Sounds like the poor fella married a prude.........................

Woman, if he can't get it from you (and that doesn't mean you just laying there like a bump on a log hoping it will end soon) he WILL get it somewhere else. That is human nature.

PS - He should have divorced you ASAP over your stunt with the cops.

seems to me if he was pleased in the bedroom he wouldn't look out side of it.

Also couples don't divorce! A cpl that plays together stays together.

Wow.

Listen, satisfaction in the bedroom doesn't necessarily have anything to do with a porn addiction. While an unsatisfactory sex life is sometimes the beginning of such a condition, quite a large percentage of porn viewers have healthy sex lives otherwise. And I'm definitely not saying that everyone who looks at porn is addicted to it (or even unhealthy) in case anyone's wondering.

Yes, she definitely went overboard by having the police remove him from their home, but the overall situation may or may not have anything to do with how good or generous she is in the sack.

Finally, the point should be made that it's the job of both people in a relationship to make sure the sex is good, not just the woman. This letter presents a limited picture of the story, so other than the involvement of law enforcement, it's not the best idea to jump to conclusions about who does what.

quote:

Originally posted by 13802069:
RE: http://www.military.com/opinio...15202,205187,00.html

Someone in my family is currently struggling with sex addiction (of which porn addiction is a subset), and Sex Addicts Anonymous -- or SAA (sexaa.org) -- has really helped. It's a 12-step program similar to that of Alcoholics Anonymous or Overeaters Anonymous, in which fellow addicts share stories, discuss addiction and recovery, and help each other avoid "acting out". Of course, the addict has to first admit he/she has a problem, but often that first step will help relieve some of the stress involved, and help the addict (and his/her family) begin to heal.

I would also suggest the book "In the Shadows of the Net: Breaking Free of Compulsive Online Sexual Behavior".

It seems obvious to me that encouraging a spouse to attend Sex Addicts Anonymous meetings would be a very risky strategy for a number of reasons. I doubt I'll need to list them for anyone.

Like "Military Wife", my girlfriend has also become overweight, and I as a result routinely withhold sex.

The issue here is not the husband's "porn addiction". Rather, the issue is Military Wife's food addiction.


Ladies: Fix your eating habits or face the consequences!

quote:

Originally posted by bencorc:
Like "Military Wife", my girlfriend has also become overweight, and I as a result routinely withhold sex.

The issue here is not the husband's "porn addiction". Rather, the issue is Military Wife's food addiction.


Ladies: Fix your eating habits or face the consequences!

Maybe you should give your girlfriend a break and dump her. You would both be happier

My gawd, can't men keep their women under control these days. I drink, smoke, surf, fish, hunt, and have sex with the wife whenever I want. For so much love and understanding, I let her massage my hands and feet whenever she wants to. My wife is attractive though and a Veterinarian, maybe thats why she loves my animalistic ways. Bottom line, I wear the surf shorts in this family. I have never met a couple that the wife runs the show and they are happy, never. Be fair and understanding and all will be good. If your wife turns into a fat azz or vise versa, give them six months to get in shape, if nothing is done,,,,,you are free to move about the cabin, thanks for flying with us.


The wife just came in the office and read what I wrote,,I had to change a few things,,,see, fair and understanding,,, she's massaging my feet as I type right now, huh.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: BAGodbehere,

I keep a second screen open showing nekid, flexible college girls in case the wife walks in. That way she doesn't know I am on these forums.
You have to give them some respect. I am trying to hide it.

A man in is home is like a king in his castle. Unless he's committing a crime which doesn't seem likely here, do not expect the police to escort him out. Looking at dirty pictures involving nudity doesn't amount to porn. Cops can't remove him as much as they can't evict her. Another alternative has to be found than trying to dump something like this on the PD.

"I had the police escort him out of the house for a short time, so he could think about his disrespectful actions."

You already committed the cardinal sin and broke any semblance of trust.

In order to have the police escort him out, you had to accuse him of something egregious. Doubtful that he will ever, ever trust you again.

He'll always be looking over his shoulder... for cops coming or for a nice arse.

I understand what you are going through except my husband has a very concerning obsession w/anal sex/porn which is very alarming to me. It has caused numerous problems in not just our sex life but our marriage as well. I've offered marriage counseling as well as sex therapy to no avail and we've been married for almost 10 years so it is very upsetting that he is not willing to put himself on the line. He says that it will make him look like a "freak" for wanting it and that they will tell me it is my body to do what I want with (which is absolutely right, otherwise it is considered rape). My best advice is keep trying and pray as much as possible, especially when there are children involved (I have a 7yr old & a 5yr old, both with special needs who require a lot of love & attention which helps ease my burden with lack of affection from my husband). God bless you & keep you safe in these trying times of your marriage. Keep praying & keep trying, but also remember it takes 2 in a marriage.