|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||
Military.com Forums Army Discussions Army General Discussion Cheating, Unsupportive husband|
Go
|
New
|
Find
|
Notify
|
Tools
|
Reply
|
|
|
Basic Training |
I have a friend and she and i are both married to the military. My experience is going quit well, hers on the other hand isn't. She lives and works here in Ga. Her "husband" is station in Alaska. They have 2 children together...both of which he doesn't really have a relationship with. He has been cheating on her for almost a year now, has never sent money to his wife and children. She has (since finding out about his unfaithful ways) gotten a place of their own (she and the kids were with family here), is paying me and my husband to watch them while she works...etc. She is single handedly raising two children (3 year old and 10 month old). She has recently filed divorce papers and called to ask him where to send them to and he refuses to give her an address (then, tells her to send them to his mistress's parents house!!!). Says he will not pay the child support purposed, etc. She is not one to push...when she should. My question is this....is there anything i can do as a friend to help her and the boys out? anyone i can contact in order to get an address for her, let the army know what kind of a "man" they have amongst them? anything? i am new at the whole military wife thing and i just desperately want to help her. Not just sit here and see her get pushed around.
|
||
|
|
"NEC ASPERA TERRENT" If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck ARMY FORUMS MODERATOR  |
The police will find him once papers are to be delivered. all it will take is a call to the Army from them.
|
|||
|
|
Basic Training |
She needs to retain legal counsel for the divorce, she also needs to contact JAG for the family issues dealing with money.
There are regulations governing how much of his pay must go to directly support his family. |
|||
|
|
Highly Experienced Member Ex-Moderator, Fired For Cause |
As long as child support is part of the divorce settlement, he will be REQUIRED to pay it directly from his DFAS account - it will be deducted automatically and either sent directly to her bank or to the state child welfare agency account (that will distribute it to her). As long as he is in the military and legally obligated to pay child support, he has no choice.
Alimony may be a different thing altogether, and that may be less important to her than the child support. If she knows his unit, that's all the address she needs to give her lawyer - let the lawyer do the rest (that's what they're supposed to do). She's fortunate to have family nearby, and to have supportive friends. Just being a friendly ear for her venting is probably helping more than you realize. |
|||
|
|
Basic Training |
oh, she has a lawyer, and according to her they have done their little worksheets as far as what he makes versus what child support should be. He is simply appalled by what is expected of him.
|
|||
|
|
Basic Training |
Thanks cider. am trying to tell her to just let the lawyer handle it. But, she is worried about the money it is going to end up costing her. Alimony is something Ga. doesn't like to give out anymore so she isn't even pushing for that. But, i think i am more frustrated than anything. I hate to see her like this. and it affects the boys as well.
|
|||
|
Member |
In the first place to file for divorce Both of you must have lived in the state you are filing in. Second, you have done the most important thing and that was to get a lawyer. Your husband can be served papers at his address. Just find out what unit he is assigned to.
|
|||
|
|
"NEC ASPERA TERRENT" If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck ARMY FORUMS MODERATOR |
she will even get a portion of his retirement!!!
|
|||
|
|
Basic Training |
thanks grunt!! you are a ray of sunshine
 something else i look forward to telling her tonight at work...yeah, we work together too! |
|||
|
Bullet Sponge |
Cheating or no I disaree with that policy. |
|||
|
|
"NEC ASPERA TERRENT" If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck ARMY FORUMS MODERATOR |
yea me too, buthey, I got called a ray of sunshine!
|
|||
|
Experienced Member |
I’ve got two married daughters (married 21 and 26 years) their husbands are the greatest guys I could every wish for as son-in-laws. Among other things I’m an ordained minister and I preformed both weddings. I told my “to be” son-in-laws,” if they ever abandoned, abused or cheated on my daughters that, “I will hunt you down and kill you.” BTW, I told my two sons the same thing concerning our precious daughter-in-laws.
Now, back to this scum-bag of a husband – I think the wife should call the local JAG office about his non-support of the family until the divorce. 18350881, please tell your friend that that there are a lot of good men in uniform who never cheat on the spouse. And, I just want to remind everyone that he would be the same scum-bag in or out of uniform. |
|||
|
|
Bullet Sponge |
I wonder if anyone has ever said the same thing to a female. |
|||
|
|
Member |
tell first get a lawyer second call army cid or the provost marsall where hes stationed third get her to court so she take out papers to garnish his pay fourth have the marsall,s serve him they will even in alaska ...it is a federal crime now if you do not make child support payments ,they will take it out of his pay ,take his drivers lic and stop him from being deployed. |
|||
|
|
Experienced Member |
My wife had some strong words for our daughters and the daughter-in-laws concerning faithfulness. We've been married for all most 48 years and we think that should be the standard. |
|||
|
Judge Stump |
Shouldn't she be receiving BAH?
I see a fraud investigation here. Put a bug in CID's ear. |
|||
|
|
Bullet Sponge |
Thats funny. I can imagine the scene. |
|||
|
Trust Me, I used to be a Recruiter |
All you have to do is call his CO, tell him he isn't supporting his wife and kids, and things will happen. Quickly.
|
|||
|
|
Experienced Member |
My wife is the perfect GIs wife and great mother. She raised our four kids while living at more than a dozen addresses in eight states and three countries, including raising our children during my two tours in Vietnam. Our children are competent, caring and successful. They are great spouses and they are raising terrific children. When she speaks, we all listen. |
|||
|
|
Highly Experienced Member Ex-Moderator, Fired For Cause |
That is probably NOT the case, gruntpain. There is a formula that determines eligibility for part of a military member's retirement pay, and it usually involved at least twenty years of service (i.e., eligible for retirement) and being married for at least half of those years. There's not enough info here to go by, but since both children are quite young, I would guess they have not been married more than a few years - so ineligible for a portion of retirement. To the OP: regardless of the cost, your friend MUST retain the services of a lawyer to secure her children's future. Most lawyers will accept a payment schedule. If you are near a military post/base, help her look for attorneys who are familiar with military laws or have served in the military JAG themselves. |
|||
|
| Previous Topic | Next Topic | powered by eve community | Page 1 2 3 |
 | Please Wait. Your request is being processed... |
|
|||
| Site | Military.com Forums | ||
| Servlet | eve1da047 | ||
| Version | 1.2.22 build 9062 | ||
| Module | Forums 4.0.3 | ||
| Stylesheet | "Front Door" | ||
| Wordlet Set | "Default Wordlet Set" | ||
|
Military.com Forums Army Discussions Army General Discussion Cheating, Unsupportive husband
