I think I've seen one or two reservist spouses on the boards since I joined, but I sure would love to hear from as many as possible and what your experience has been like so far with deployment. Do you ever feel out of the loop coming from the civilian side to military?

My hubby doesn't leave till early next year for nine months and we are four hours from his base and none of our friends with the exception of one couple from church have any military ties or understanding for that matter. Last year for a family day, the ombudsman passed out all this material, and most of it wasn't even written for reservists, it was for active navy on ships (my husband is a seabee, he'll be on land.)

Anybody have similar experiences? What have been some of the best resources for you as you play catchup with Military 101? And do you FEEL military, or civilian or somewhere in limbo?

Looking forward to hearing from you!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: SeabeeWife28,

awwww... i'm so glad he is home kim!!!

man- it's so exciting that all of you guys are going through this so close together! =)
i am so happy for you.

i can't wait to count down until jeff is coming home to stay...
when i see you guys there i know that means it WILL happen eventually.. the time will pass and it will become a reality someday =)

Hey Ladies.

Thanks everyone for their opinions and advice. I have been thinking about it for two days and decided to just stay put. We will have the big thing here in Tampa when he flies in and let everyone see him and get it out of their system and then WE will go away for a couple nights...I want my days and nights with him...I am not sitting in a hotel and just waiting. Plus, dates have changed twice since I last wrote.

Unfortunately, I had all ready booked the ticket with the original dates...so I am going to call and see what happens there....maybe they will have sympathy! Doubt it, but at least we can use it for up to a year, I believe.

THanks again. I am so glad your husbands and loved ones are coming home and things are going smoothly...I just can't wait for our time!!!!

We've only got a few days left also and their de-mob is a 4 hour drive from here, but DH and I decided that I would not drive down. Their Capt as well as the staff there have asked us not to come and stated that there will be no free time or passes off the base for the guys. We decided it wasn't worth the time on the road or the costly hotel room to see each other for like an hour or less a day. I am saving my time off of work and using it to go to DC with him right after Memorial Day.
Well today we have our FRG Yard Sale and I have to hear all the women talk about going down there and to heck with what the capt says. It drove it home even more clearly to me that I needed to stay put here and enjoy him for real when he gets back home and I can hold him for a good long time.
Happy Mother's Day everyone!!!

Hello and Happy Mothers Day to all the mom's and someday mom's!

Susan, Stacey- I think you are doing the right thing; it is soooo tough knowing they are on US soil and so close compared to where they have been, but soon enough you will be together(easy for me to say right?)

Z, our friend that occassionally comes by here, she had to wait, gosh, was it like 3 months? to get her husband home because he was on Medical hold when he got back. That woman is a role model for patience!


Anywhoo.... I am almost done with school, I have one final left. Tom is gone for a week up to Wisconsin for something or another- and I am going to be cleaning and watching a TON of movies while he is gone.

My in-laws were hyper annoying today. Telling us how to live our lives, and alternating between his mom who was acting like he was leaving forever, and his father saying, "this is nothing compared to what it was" seriously, I was going nuts. I swear my mil cannot for the life of her say, well it is your decision- on anything!! She has to tell us like we are 5 what to do.

ok, enough venting. Im gonna go speak to my daughter about messing with my ringtones.

Hi all! HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Megan, did you get to doggy sit this weekend? I have been thinking about you and I am so happy that David is home with you.

It is wonderful to have Tom home. Mother's Day is my favorite holiday and it was even better with him here. Did I mention that he is HOT!! Man he lost weight and is very buff and tan. I can barely keep my hands off him!!

Shaala, I am sorry your inlaws are being annoying. I am pretty fortunate that my inlaws mind their own business. Only once did my MIL say something about how we should do things and that was that I should cook all day Sunday so we have meals done for the week. She new I was pissed and never mentioned that or anything like that again!

I will post pics of our home coming soon.

Talk to you soon.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY !

I hope all of you had a wonderful Day !

Here are 2 pics of Tom's homecoming. Morgan (my daughter) was sobbing so hard! I stood back and let the kids at him first. It was hard, but I knew they needed it.
http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh100/kimmiecotton/T...ecomingwithKevin.jpg

http://i254.photobucket.com/albums/hh100/kimmiecotton/T...inghuggingmorgan.jpg

Thank you for posting the pics! I love them, I got teary for you!

Here I am crying like a baby again! I am so excited for your homecoming!!! I've got a little over a week for ours, I keep switching from surreal, I can't believe this I am so excited to oh my gosh, I've got a million and a half things to get accomplished. It's crazy. I am so happy for you guys!!! Thanks for sharing!

wow. the pics made me cry too. i am so happy for you all..if i where there i would hug you all myself..

i am so lost. i know 5 more weeks is nothing but man i am depressed. i miss him so much, i cry just thinking about holding him. he was just telling me that his unit deployed to iraq this week(his home unit). ugh i just wish i was flying down tommrow...
wendy

Hi everyone, well, I e-mailed another NG wife from this thread if any of you remember her- Army Wife (Jennifer) and she asked me to ask all of you for your positive thoughts and prayers.

She and I went through almost the exact time frame of deployment, and within 3 weeks of Ed coming home, she became pregnant with twins. It was a fairly high risk pregnancy, and then she got into a car accident- long story short, the twins were born at 26 weeks to the day. They now weigh close to 2lbs (one is under, one is over) but have a long road ahead of them. So if you can send positive vibes to an army wife in need, she will take it.

So, happy and sad news. But, like I told her if her girls are anything like her they are fighters with a lot of spunk!

aww- more pictures!!!

they are so beautiful... i love seeing them because it almost makes it a reality that someday.. it WILL be me.

R&R is approaching and i am still in a state where it seems surreal as well. i guess it'll hit me the night before or the day of. Probably no sooner though.. i guess that's better though. it'll keep time from dragging any more than it already is.

i am currently craving chocolate and it is definitely something i need to get beyond. me and sweets have been holding hands lately and it is probably not going to have any positive results, haha.

megan,
i hope things are going well for you.. is the adjustment weird or anything like they tell us it will be in those articles i'm sure we have all poured over? is it a difficult adjustment where we all have these odd expectations that we are disappointed nobody meets (i always thought those articles made us wives out to be a bit foreboding and the homecoming rather un-exceptional)

quote:

Originally posted by firstcomeslove:
Hi everyone, well, I e-mailed another NG wife from this thread if any of you remember her- Army Wife (Jennifer) and she asked me to ask all of you for your positive thoughts and prayers.

She and I went through almost the exact time frame of deployment, and within 3 weeks of Ed coming home, she became pregnant with twins. It was a fairly high risk pregnancy, and then she got into a car accident- long story short, the twins were born at 26 weeks to the day. They now weigh close to 2lbs (one is under, one is over) but have a long road ahead of them. So if you can send positive vibes to an army wife in need, she will take it.

So, happy and sad news. But, like I told her if her girls are anything like her they are fighters with a lot of spunk!

First , I was so sorry to read about Armywife . Please tell her I'm thinking and praying for all of them.

Oh my gosh, I was so shocked when I read about armywife. Man, the things we go through when they are away, and then right when they come back!! Please tell her I'm thinking about her. How many weeks are they now?

Miriah,
I personally do not adjust to major change that well. So I finally flew off the handle on Mother's Day. It all bubbled and festered until after we got home from brunch (which is good....I didn't make a scene in front of the family, but I wasn't that mad yet either...) Funny thing is, I can't really remember what started it all.

At first I felt like I needed to entertain him every moment. I felt like we needed to do everything we possibly could to fill every second of the day and I think that was still the part of me that felt like he was going to go back again.

Now I find myself wanting my "me" time. I hadn't sewn since a few days before he came home, so my hands were feeling pretty "itchy". That's just how I decompress and I wasn't doing it because I was trying to spend my time with him. I like how I spend time with him (running errands, making dinner together, working in the yard....) but the other thing is the dog. I so miss having a dog. I miss the time the dog takes up too. I didn't realize how much time it took up playing with her, putting her in the kitchen before we left the house....So sometimes I we are sitting on the couch and I'm thinking 'this is stupid...we should be doing something, not sitting on the couch, he's been gone for a year'.

But like he jokes, he's "retired" now, so he doesn't have to rush. He doesn't have to rush to fix things in the house, because he's not going away. I on the other hand still feel like I'm in rush mode.

On to the blow up on sunday-I really just can't stand spoiled people who don't have to work for anything and get everything they want handed to him. Well, I like his cousins, but they are SPOILED!! And the bridezilla was there. She was definitely more tolerable, but she's pretty much copying my wedding which I should be flattered but it just annoys me. She almost bought the same dress. Not on purpose, but it turned out to be slightly different. They got a puppy. I don't know that they've ever paid for a bill by themselves. I think she's had a job 1-2 summers "for fun" and he did the same, but they didn't have to make any money....ugh. Just bothers me. Then they start ragging on their sibling who's trying to make it on broadway in New York because she hasn't "made it" yet and she's catering and working at a chinese restaurant. I know she's receiving financial support from her parents too, but if you knew her the fact that she's takin the initiative to get 1 job, let alone two to attempt to pay for rent-that's amazing in itself. I don't think they should have been talking about her that way since they have it so easy!!

Then I got annoyed because here I am spending another mother's day with his family. I did last year too, and he wasn't even there for it. (there was some reason I couldn't come home, but still...) I understand this year, because he should be with his mother after being away. But we didn't go home to my house much in the last year to prepare for deployment and then because I just felt so bogged down with doing everything myself. I told him I know it may be the fall before we can do anything about it, but I want to go home more. We get to do things with his family alllllllll the time and I don't. Mine is only 4 hours away....it's not like it's across the world. And of course, the feelings of appreciation....how we let each other know we appreciate each other....it's different from when you are telling each other over the phone...
I guess there's just some "rediscovering" and part of it may be because we just weren't married very long before he left, but I was certainly married longer than you Miriah, so I don't know what my deal is!!
Overall though, we are very happy and these are just little bumps in the road, not big ones....

Well...my hair is drying and I need to finish getting ready for work-more later!
Megan

p.s. Kim-great pictures!!! And you were right-(if you don't mind me saying so) your husband looks great!!!

one more quick thing, I can't believe I forgot this, since it took all afternoon being grumpy before I figured out what it was!!!

I still get angry sometimes looking at people whose lives haven't changed in anyway-they are on whatever course they have set and they haven't had to press pause. I sometimes see people and think, "we could have done that if he didn't have to leave..." It's really dumb, but it seems to pop up occassionally. And I told him it wasn't that my life stopped, because I tried to keep it going, but I married him because I loved him and wanted a life with him, and then he had to leave and my life was with myself and that's not fun. I just have become very aware of how so many people thank you for the sacrifices you and your family make-but they really have no clue what we go through and what we miss-and I really don't think there is a way to explain or show it to them!

ok. leaving for work!

Megan, you are well spoken. Thats all I can say. After months of trying to figure it all out, in two minutes I read most of what has bothered me about homecoming. I think with me it was the inevitable feeling that he was not home "for good" that it was temporary.

One other thing that I finally realized was the "authority" issue. While he was deployed, he was used to being in charge of everyone and everything. So was I. So we have kind of butt heads over this.

Anyway, Megan, Im glad you had a "blow-up" it means you are well on your way to readjusting.

Ok, Im out. One last final this morning and then I am done for the summer!!

I agree with Shaala, Megan that was well said. I can see it forthcoming! He has been so wonderful, but I am waiting for the "other shoe to drop". He is so complimentary that I am not use to it. Then last night he made dinner and the kids THANKED him for it! WTF? I don't recall them thanking me for anything. I know it should not bother me, but...

Megan, it felt very surreal that he was coming home until I was actually at the airport waiting for him. My brother in law thought I had ants in my pants because I just could not sit still. I hope you guys have a blast with each other.

I am so sorry to hear about Armywife's babies. They are definitely in my thoughts. Thank goodness for today's technology. It will give them both a good fighting chance at a healthy life.

Wendy - where are you??? You okay?

Well, in 2 days we head to Phoenix for 5 days! I can't wait!! DH can't either. It is WAY too cold for him here. It was only in the 50's yesterday and he is use to 120's!

Take care.

[yeah i am around. i am just reallly depressed lately and it sucks. its like i cant wait till 8 so i can crawl into bed and sleep. i dont know, i am mad at myself b/c i am crying so much. i only have 5 weeks left it shouldnt be like this...
i cried to sh for over 30 mintues yesterday. i just miss my family as a whole unit.. this super women thing is way beyond sucking..

mya had a huge bloody nose today. i sent her off to school b/c after about 10 mintues she was fine. i just hope that was the right thing to do.

ok back to being superwomen the house needs cleaning.
wen

wow.. megan, haha. now you have me quite nervous.

i was only married for 3 weeks before Jeff left... oh no! i get the feeling adjusting from fiance to gone 1 year, to married will be so hard now.. it's already a big transition when you've been seeing each other every day for however long up until one's wedding- but remove any contact (minus r&r) for a year...
i don't think it's going to be easy. i worry about that.
i don't want to have a hard/rough start to our marriage.. i mean, the initial start was already rough enough.. but for him to return and us 'really' start it and it be hard.. that's going to suck.

and, yes.. i also get angry at people whos lives have been on the easy/steady track the past year with no interruptions or difficult times.... it's not fair and it's harsh seeing it.