Hey everyone, I'm new here.. and new to everything else Army. My husband left for BCT @ Fort Benning yesterday. It has already been so tough for me - getting used to the fact that he won't be around for a while. We were inseperable for the past 4 1/2 years, so I feel lost And tips on how to get through this? I'm a strong girl, but it's just sooo hard...

Stay busy. Work, go to school, volunteer somewhere, etc. That does help the time go by better.

Don't put your life on hold. You cannot sit by the phone 24/7/365 waiting for a call. Yes, it's sucks to miss a call, but it's much worse to close yourself off from the world waiting on him all the time.

Hang in there!



Mom

I went through basic with a boyfriend before i got married to wes and went through the deployment and i know everyine says to get out there and do stuff and i know you dont feel like it but i found one girl and we texted all the time to eachother about what we were going through and feeling and sumtimes we just talked just to have sum1 to talk to and i know its very hard to get used to him not being there but if you need anyone to talk 2 im here for you.

since im gettin suspended for tellin it like it is ill go on and leave my number hopefully ull get this and if u need to talk im here for you my name is cathy

Personal Security will not allow your telephone number to be kept online. This is a public place where anyone can view it so you can get called by anyone.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Navywifeinparadise,

Thanks Sgt.Mom & Proud Patrick. Maybe since it's only been a day, the feelings are more intense. I'm still adjusting...

ProudPatrick, you're right though. I honestly do not feeling like doing anything but lie in bed and watch TV! It's so awful, but I do have school, and volunteer work that keeps me quite busy. I just hope these next few months go by fast!

It is hard to want to go and do stuff especially when you have been used to them being home, but trust me you have to. Even if it is just to get out and drive around. You don't have to go out out, but do something. KEEP BUSY. That is the one mistake a lot of people make in the beginning. Just remember once you get into a rut it is hard to get out of it.

It is ok to do something for yourself. I used to feel guilty that I could do things that my husband couldn't, but he told me that I couldn't look at things like that. I needed to have a life.

BCT and AIT seemed to be hardest on me. It was our first separation and although it has probably been our shortest, LOL, it was still tough. You can't just pick up a phone and call them. Letters and phone calls were short and sometimes not at all. The mailman became my best friend and worst enemy, LOL. But write him everyday regardless if you aren't getting letters or as many as you think because that is what he needs. I would write my husband every night before I went to bed to tell him about my day and it was also good because I felt as if I were telling him my day and almost like a journal before I went to bed each night.

You can make it through this! You are strong and you will get even stronger! Don't count down by months or days. It seems too long. Do something smaller as weeks or paydays, and treat yourself with something little each week or payday for getting through it. That gives you something to look forward to each week or two instead of waiting for a month or two or five. You can do it! Keep your head up and it will be over before you know it!

Ha-ha I can relate to the mailman comment. I found myself staking him, I even knew the days he worked over time and everything. My husband left in July and I won't see him till his 36 hr pass in a few weeks. You just need to stay busy, when I took my son to Bj's alone for the first time I felt like I won a marathon. It’s amazing how many arms you grow as a mother; baby in one arm, and bags of groceries in the other.

quote:

Originally posted by 19791351:
Hey everyone, I'm new here.. and new to everything else Army. My husband left for BCT @ Fort Benning yesterday. It has already been so tough for me - getting used to the fact that he won't be around for a while. We were inseperable for the past 4 1/2 years, so I feel lost And tips on how to get through this? I'm a strong girl, but it's just sooo hard...

I'm in your exact situation. My husband left for basic in the end of October. I'm having the hardest time getting through the days. Like you, I know nothing about the military life, but I'm learning. It hurts to learn how challenging this lifestyle is, but it also helps to know what to expect and what I can do, even though it's not much.

Here are some of the things I've learned help me make it through the day:

Spend time with people. As much as you can. If you're like me, spending time with friends and family will make you miss your husband really bad, because he belongs there, but it also helps to have people to cry to who can help distract you. It helps the time go by.

Try new things. Go new places. Personally, I can't do anything or go anywhere my husband and I did together - it's just too hard. So I've resolved to try new restaurants, check out new stores, walk down different streets. It helps to get out of the house and it helps to see different things.

Make goals. Every week, every day, make a list of a bunch of things you are going to do - the dishes, the laundry, read 3 chapters in that book, run one mile on the treadmill. And do it. When the rough time hits, push through and do the stuff on your list anyway. It helps the time pass and, when you get it all done, you feel a little sense of accomplishment.

Work out a little every day. It releases endorphins. It also helps me to feel closer to my husband, since I know he's working out, too. And when I feel angry or abandoned it helps me to get out those feelings. On the really bad days it's hard, but it does help to just push through it. If nothing else, you will feel a little better about yourself.

Every day is a struggle right now. Every morning I wake up and wonder how I'm going to get through the day, much less the month, much less the rest of his enlistment. But somehow I do. And you will, too. Try to learn about yourself and how you feel about this and try to take advantage of your good days - doing that helps make the bad days not as bad...