and I'm not taking to it very well at all. Everytime someone talks to me I start to cry as much as I hate to I do. What are some things I can do for the 14 weeks that he is gone to help me get through it. I don't work, I just help my mom out with her business. I dont have a working car at the moment either so what are some things that helped you while your husbands were away. I am willing to try anything to get my mind off of him being gone. All I have to do is plan a wedding but thats almost done with. I'm not looking forward to crawling into an empty bed tonight! But I am looking forward to my first letter from him, but that will be awhile. I'd appreciate any advice to help me get through this.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: theainjmtant,

Hi, sorry to hear that you're so forlorn over your significant other leaving. Just remember...this too shall pass. Focus on the perks of him calling, writing and eventually returning to you. Stay busy by reading, watching movies, being around supportive friends and family, take up an art class or class online.
Hang in there and good luck!

Sorry to hear your feeling so bad ... but I promise it does get easier!!

I allowed myself to have a pity party - short one though!! Get the tears out of your system otherwise they'll errupt in the middle of grocery shopping or somewhere equally public!! (smile)
For me I went back to school and I'm now doing my second degree - keeps me busy and gives me something to focus on.
But I think the key is to keep busy doing something for you, whether it's a hobby or an ambition, maybe voluntaring ... this is the perfect oppurtunity, not only will you be busy BUT you also get the sense of achievement.

Oh and popping on here makes the time tick and helps with the loneliness ...

Good luck
((hugs))

Thank you, Your answers have helped I'm doing really good now and its only been 5 hours my mom has told everyone to not ask how I feel because thats when I get upset. I've just been watching tv and I live in Florida so this Tropical Storm Fay is keeping me pretty busy getting ready for it. I want to go back to school but my husband is doing infantry training and its only 14 weeks long I'm afraid if I do go to school he might be back long before I'm finished. But couldnt I just take transcripts from that school and start a new one where ever he is stationed if thats the case Im going to go back to school. But again thank you, he will be back in no time christmas always comes fast and he graduates OSUT December 12th. I've heard this is the easy one it is the deployments that are very hard. I'll keep his advice, think of what will be when he comes home not about him being gone, much easier said than done though!!

Hello! My husband is also in infantry training in Ft. Benning. He left on July 30th, and still hasn't started basic... He believes he'll get out of processing this Friday. He has been able to call quite a bit while he's been in reception (although most of the calls have started out with 'Sorry if I have to hang up quick, I snuck to the pay phone...') and have received about 6 letters. He is SO bored right now, and wants more than anything to just start basic and actually have his time away count towards something.
Anywho.. I know exactly what you are going through, so if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to email me. Keep your head up though, and when you get to talk to him don't let on about how hard this is on you, I made that mistake the first time and practically made him consider AWOL. Well, not quite, but you get the point. haha.

Good luck!

CAfilly: I talked to him last night and I didnt mention how hard it was already because he would of wanted to do the same thing. He knew I was upset even though I told him I was okay but he didnt sound to happy himself. I feel like crap its been almost 2 days and my stomache constantly hurts I feel nauseated and can NOT sleep. Its horrible. Were you like this when he first left? I hope it doesnt last too long. I'm excited about him only being gone for 14 weeks though that is the shortest training, When does your husband graduate?

For my husband, the process of actually getting TO Ft. Benning was an entire process in itself. He tried for about 6 months and had to overcome a lot of obstacles. He went to MEPS twice to "ship out", then had stuff go wrong and was back the next day. Going through the goodbye process once is hard enough, but we were forced to go through it three times, so when he was finally able to leave it was basically more of a RELIEF than anything.
For a week after he was gone, my heart was pretty tough and in the back of my mind I wouldn't let the reality of him being gone actually sink in, just in case something else went wrong. The first week was pretty easy for me, but then during the 2nd week everything finally hit, and I was feeling the same way you are now.
It is very hard to go through, but trust me it does get better.. There's good days and bad days, and nights are usually the worst, but just stay busy. I bought a notebook the first day he left and have been writing him letters that are basically in diary format.. Just telling him EVERYTHING that happens, even if I feel like I'm gonna bore him to death. I haven't been able to send him any of them yet because he hasn't gotten his permanent address, but it helps keep them all together and is very therapeutic, I always feel better after I write.

He gets out of reception tomorrow (woo hoo!!) and officially goes to basic, so he'll graduate in 14 weeks if all goes well (*pray*).

Good luck girl, and stay strong... you can do it!!

I cannot imagine going though this three times. I'm sorry you had to. It is tough enough the first time. My husband went to MEPS several times but the longest he was gone was two days and I knew he was coming home, thats what sank in last night, He would not be home today. I got to talk to him on his way to Georgia for a couple minutes and I'm feeling alot better for now. That and hearing that it gets alot easier helps me out too. With it being near Christmas when he gets home it should fly by, time always does when it comes time for Christmas.

I have also started writing him but in emails. I know he cant read them for a while but it helps me get everything out. Only other thing I have to keep me busy is planning a wedding.

Thank you for the help, it has really made me feel better. I hope all goes good with your husband finally getting out of reception and hope his 14 weeks fly by for you both. God knows it is real hard being away from the one you love.

It will get better over time. It doesn't seem like time will go by fast but it does. It feels like my bf just left, and its been 4 months already. I get to see him not this Friday but next, so I have a week and 1/2 until I see him. I am going to visit him while he is in tech training. I am very very excited. Then after that mark, there is only 2 months left. I have found that setting dates for stuff and doing small countdowns makes it easier. Like plan something with family or friends and then look foward to that date. After that happens, plan something else. I have done that, and time has flewn by. It will get easier with time.
Hang in there.

Hi honey..Im in the same spot your in. My husband left for fort benning 2 days ago. I do have two kids that do pass my time..i have not recieved the his first call that i thought they got..so i to..am waiting for his first letter. The empty bed sucks. My major problem is ..i have no idea if he's alright. I hope that everything is going well for him. I f you ever need to talk.... Im here..your not alone. Take care

I havent received my call either,and yes the empty bed sucks I'm not used to it. Hopefully I'll get a call or letter soon. I'm sure he's fine because he's in reception, I'm sure they are bored out of their minds though, When is your husband start his training mine is suppose to Start August 29th and graduate December 12th. Is your husband doing Infantry? Thats all I think about is his graduation instead of him being gone, and it helps me stay calm and not to cry. I miss him like crazy. He's been gone since noon monday! Same to you if you need to talk. I'm here.

Just a little update on my DH, since he's about 1-2 weeks ahead of yours, so hopefully you'll know what to expect...
He was in reception for 2 1/2 weeks, then finally started basic this past Wednesday. He got a 3 minute call 2 days after they got to basic. The call came in about 3 am my time, (6am his time) so my brain was still a little foggy even after the conversation. He basically just said that he is alright, and that a packet of information regarding graduation and family day has been sent and I should be getting it soon. Also, the next letter I get from him will have his permanent address that I can reply back to, and all he really wants is lots of pictures of me and the family. When I asked him how everything is going, his exact words were "Well... its.. interesting." So not quite sure what that means, but he seemed in good spirits so I guess thats a good sign. haha.

Hope you girls are doing alright! Keep in touch so we can compare notes ;-)

I am in the same boat as you are.
My finace just left for San Diego last night, and I am planning our wedding by my self. So I knwo how much pain you are going through.
I have 13 weeks without him. But I am trying to keep my head up.
If you ever want to talk to someone about it all, I am here for you. Nonoe can help you through something like this than someone going through the same thing.
Stay Strong for you and your Husband.

Yea I couldnt continue to plan a wedding for the fact I want his input because not only is it my day its his too so I have decied to postpone it until spring. If he's not deployed he can use his vacation days. He earned the money I think he should get to help plan it.

I think I am doing better than he is. I got a couple letters from him today and he said he is depressed and that just break my heart because he is one of those guys who is always happy and smiling. I know when he gets to training he will be alright he's strong and will have alot to do to keep his mind off things.

Again I just want to thank everyone who has replied it really has helped me. So thank you!

CAfilly...my husband started Basic the same time yours did in Fort Benning after waiting around in reception for a couple weeks. I am excited that he finally got to start Basic so I can see him sooner!! He also said I would be getting information about graduation and an address for him, but I haven't received anything yet and it's been a little more than a week, have you?

Thats so cool! I wonder if they know each other? haha, small world. Did you also receive the 3 minute phone call, and finally a letter that has a return address? That was the most exciting part lol. I haven't gotten anything about graduation yet, but I'll let you know when I do.

Hi sorry it took so long..My husband finally did call me..but it was very breif.. that i know of he left for basic on the 28th or 29th of auguat.. also..i hear they 1600 ppl in reception which screwed things up there. All i know about my husbands MOS is he is doing some kind of communications. Though he said alot of infantry was communicationa.. That i know of in reception he said he was Bravo and is now on the 57th line..i still have no idea what that means.. I did get three letters...so far..But i hvae no damn address to send him al my letters. Also he told be to put all the letters in one because he has to do 20 push ups for each letter..i was just like, great, i have 22 letters to send him and they are not really worth 20 push ups a piece..Are you going to his BC-or BT graduation? I have no isea when my husbands graduation date is either. Keep in touch..My heart goes out to you,,Take care.

I think all of us might have something in common..all our men left at the same time..LOL Kinda crazy..But at least i know im not alone. Well if you wander Im pvt. gerdemans wife. And my real name is Skye. Take care everyone..and keep in touch..Skye

I found this in another forume>>!!!


The ‘lovely wife’: She deserves thunderous applause

A woman in our midst is moving on — from her current place in life — from the military, to a new locale.

She is the lady we see standing next to the military fellow, dutifully by his side at his retirement ceremony. At other times, she has been invisible to us. We see him, but her presence is transparent. Don’t be fooled, however. She is always there in a place of honor.

But who is she?

We hear the accolades for the one in uniform and his impressive collection of professional accomplishments. We may not know him personally, but his uniform tells the tales of where he’s been, what he’s done and with whom he has served. Speeches are given and his sacrifices, his challenges, his career, his service to country are extolled.

But what about her?

She wears no uniform, yet she carries herself with equal distinction. Her contributions may not be found in a speech or in a proclamation signed by dignitaries. Yet somehow, we know her. We know of her service. We know of her sacrifices. We know whom she helped, whom she served.

We are the ones she comforted. We benefited from her leadership, her guidance, her shared experience and — if we were lucky — her friendship. We were mentored by her. She was the one we admired. She was the one who set the example for others to follow.

But this is his retirement, his moment. At his ceremony, a few words will be spoken about her role as partner. Perhaps she’ll be given a certificate suitable for framing or a trinket to hang around her neck. Items that, not unlike her, are an understatement of the lives she touched, of the difference she made. Items that won’t show up on an “I love me” wall, but will be stored away, appreciated but not flaunted.

Who is she? She is the one whose name follows the phrase, “… and his lovely wife …” She is the one who spends endless hours “hurrying up to wait.” She is the fulcrum on which both the family’s and the mission’s needs balance.

She is the commander in chief of the house. She is the advance scout. She is the logistics support. She is the rear detachment. She is all things to all people. But most of all, she is whatever she needs to be.

So when the moment comes to acknowledge her at his retirement, please refrain from polite applause. Instead, jump to your feet. Give the woman a sincere, thunderous standing ovation. Show her you mean it. Show her she meant something to you, to the military and to the service of her country.

Who is she, you ask?

She is his wife. A “lovely wife.” A military wife.

Justin got out of Reception on August 29th, the day he was suppose to, I received a letter for everyday he was in there. That really helped me with him being gone. I finally got his address Monday. He called with it. He's 11c Indirect Fire Infantry. All I know about his unit thing is its F.Co 1-50. Tuesday we was going to the gas chamber and he sounded excited lol. He sounded okay said his DS's so far were actually not that bad. In reception he said they wake up at 3am! Alot of people were trying to go awol and alot on suicide watch. These gyus are only in reception, hope it gets better when they get to training. My husband is PV2 Kees, maybe some of our guys are together.