I met an amazing guy just as he was starting tech school, now 4 months later he is about to graduate and his first duty station is in Germany. This whole military life style is very new to me so I have no idea what to expect. We have talked about it many times and both want to make the long distance thing work. I am absolutly crazy about him and would totally go with him if I could, but that is not going to happen. So for now we are planning on talking and seeing each other as much as we can but I am already extremly sad at the thought of him leaving. I have been trying to get information about how to go about visiting him over there but cant really find anything. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with the seperation as well as information that will help me go visit?

you would be a Tourist to Germany and subject to all of those restrictions. staying on base will most likely NOT be an option for you. so you will be forking over the money to stay in a hotel off base.

You either should go with him or break up! Believe me I tried that and I was married for 15years and I am from Germany, now thanks to my Ex who is stationed in Germany and I am from Germany I am stuck in NY with my 13 year old boy.Guess what...My Ex send me an email that he filed for divorce just like that and cut off most of the money reason he said we just been living apart for too long but he was the one who send us back to NY since he wanted to retire here but still had another 2 years to serve in Germany. I would have made it, but he did not! Too much freedom in Germany and believe me girls go for soldiers over there, like I said I am german and know what I am talking about.I always believed in myself..BIG MISTAKE! I forgot its not just about myself it is also about my partner, guess he was not as strong as I am!!Sad for my son and myself, he went through with divorce and got all the money and I was the most faithful woman on earth he ever could have!
So, please think about it, armylife is not easy and separation is the worst, don't do it or go with him! And believe me NOBODY will support you as a spouse, it is only talk but no action when it comes to soldiers! Don't believe any army wife, it's not true what they say! Soldier is always # 1, not the spouse unless you are being physically abused and that is only with proof of evidence!
Michaele H

Brooklyn, you obviously have your own issues to deal with---don't pee in someone elses Wheaties on here. Sorry you got screwed by your husband, but that is not the case for everyone.
The whole "And believe me NOBODY will support you as a spouse, it is only talk but no action when it comes to soldiers! Don't believe any army wife, it's not true what they say! Soldier is always # 1, not the spouse unless you are being physically abused and that is only with proof of evidence!" bit---that's bull too.
Like I said, sorry you got a bad apple, but it really isn't the norm.

OP, JVB has the info correct. You do what's best for YOU TWO and nothing less.

Brooklyn - I suggest you speak with a counselor to help you deal with your anger.

Second step would be to save up the money, or have family help you, and move yourself and your son back to Germany and get on with your life.

As for no one supporting you, military spouses circle the wagons to help one another out faster than any other people I have known.

should you wish to continue this line of discussion I suggest you start your own thread rather than hijacking this one.


andi - Mrsjvb is right. You can go over if you wish, but you will be doing it on your own dime and will have to obey their restrictions on how long you stay, work, etc.


Sgt Mom

That is fine, I do not mind paying for it myself, I just do not even know where to begin looking into prices and such... any suggestions?

start by contacting the German Embassy and asking what their regs are for long term stays and what kind of paperwork you need.


I know I was able to do all my inquires online for going to Australia, to include purchasing the Visa.

I will actually not be doing a long term stay, just a couple short (week at most) visits during his two years there. I would love to go for an extended time period but I can not afford to be away from work that long- and I have a 6 year old little boy I would be leaving here in the states.

Short visits are easy then. We were thinking along the lines of several months or more at a time.



Sgt Mom

quote:

Originally posted by sgtmom:
Brooklyn - I suggest you speak with a counselor to help you deal with your anger.

Second step would be to save up the money, or have family help you, and move yourself and your son back to Germany and get on with your life.

As for no one supporting you, military spouses circle the wagons to help one another out faster than any other people I have known.

should you wish to continue this line of discussion I suggest you start your own thread rather than hijacking this one.


andi - Mrsjvb is right. You can go over if you wish, but you will be doing it on your own dime and will have to obey their restrictions on how long you stay, work, etc.


Sgt Mom

It is sad that you have to rely on your husbands rank (SGT Mom)that means nothing once he leaves you for somebody else, only you will be a divorced Mom, no don't say that never will happen to you.
At least I have my own Rank during the whole marriage I earned it, I have a Doctor Title and do not need money or any support, I have my own house here in Brooklyn and have no anger towards a soldier who doesn't deserve a woman like me anyways! I just feel sorry for youngsters they don't know what they getting into it because of people like you, telling them any fairy tales which are no Reality! I have more years put in the army then you did and know exactly what I am talking about, so don't tell them there is a circle of wagons out there...No there is NOT! You don't even know what real Life is like, you will be surprised if you do make it to a retirement with your husband how difficult it will be for you and all the other ones, because already rely only on your husbands rank and on his moneywhich he gets from the army for you all to have a nice life. Civilian life is different, you have to work to earn your money!
And speaking of hijacking this one, no I do not do such thing, I just send you a message and if you wish to continue, maybe you should start your own thread after you get a life!

quote:

Originally posted by brooklyngirl1:
It is sad that you have to rely on your husbands rank (SGT Mom)that means nothing once he leaves you for somebody else, only you will be a divorced Mom, no don't say that never will happen to you.

Actually her husband isnt in the Army he is in the Navy and is a RETIRED Officer of over 20 some odd years. She uses the title Sgt Mom because of who she is and many of us moms can be, a Drill Sgt! He has adjusted to the civilian work force and employed. So they don't need to "adjust" as you term it. He works hard and so does she. She has a life and so do us all.

There are relationships and marriages that do work. Not everyone is a fairy tale but that is because of the person and doesn't matter if it is civilian or military it ends the same way. But there is no need to bring all the negativity to mean that it will happen to every one. This girl asked a question, it was answered so there you go.

quote:

Originally posted by andiandy:
I met an amazing guy just as he was starting tech school, now 4 months later he is about to graduate and his first duty station is in Germany. This whole military life style is very new to me so I have no idea what to expect. We have talked about it many times and both want to make the long distance thing work. I am absolutly crazy about him and would totally go with him if I could, but that is not going to happen. So for now we are planning on talking and seeing each other as much as we can but I am already extremly sad at the thought of him leaving. I have been trying to get information about how to go about visiting him over there but cant really find anything. Does anyone have advice on how to deal with the seperation as well as information that will help me go visit?

Andi, all you need is get a visa so you can stay in Germany for a little while and also you will be able to stay on the Army base at their hotel,your byfriend has to reserve the room for you as soon as he knows you will be visiting and then let him show you around. Germany is beautiful and maybe you both want to stay there! I did not mean to scary you, but be careful because a long distance relationship will not work, that is something you really should believe me. And if you do decide to get married make sure you always have a connection to the outside world, it is very important for later, because one day you will be a civilian again, make sure you have a job, an education, your own account and everything in your own name too. It has nothing to do with TRUST, it is for your own safety. YOU just never know! You marriage does not have to end like mine, but at least it is better to be safe than sorry down the road. Always keep in touch with also civilian people not just military! and maybe you should talk to your friends to see what they think about it, I am pretty much sure your friends are no militar and maybe they have advice for you or your parents, sometimes it's good to listen to them too!

quote:

Originally posted by bobbysangelwife:
Brooklyn, you obviously have your own issues to deal with---don't pee in someone elses Wheaties on here. Sorry you got screwed by your husband, but that is not the case for everyone.
The whole "And believe me NOBODY will support you as a spouse, it is only talk but no action when it comes to soldiers! Don't believe any army wife, it's not true what they say! Soldier is always # 1, not the spouse unless you are being physically abused and that is only with proof of evidence!" bit---that's bull too.
Like I said, sorry you got a bad apple, but it really isn't the norm.

OP, JVB has the info correct. You do what's best for YOU TWO and nothing less.

I think you just peed in your own Wheaties! A woman with skills does not use those s like you do, but I forgive you since you are a soldier and not a w...Go and look up the physically abusive rate in the militar and then talk to me again, but of course the way you talk or you might not even care.
and yes your are right about that is not the case for everyone, no...it could be the other way around too!!!!
Do me a favorite....don't call anybody you don't know a bit---!!!!!Look around you and open your eyes than you know it is the norm....don't lie to yourself or others! The percentage is much higher than the norm!
Guess what... just by what you say shows already I am Right!
And NO... I did not get scr....by my husband ... He scr....himself so what are you talkn bout?
The writing under your screen name doesn't match either, 1st it sounds you are religious and next it sounds your wacko abusive! so what are you? ?

quote:

Originally posted by sgtmom:
Brooklyn - I suggest you speak with a counselor to help you deal with your anger.

Second step would be to save up the money, or have family help you, and move yourself and your son back to Germany and get on with your life.

As for no one supporting you, military spouses circle the wagons to help one another out faster than any other people I have known.

should you wish to continue this line of discussion I suggest you start your own thread rather than hijacking this one.


andi - Mrsjvb is right. You can go over if you wish, but you will be doing it on your own dime and will have to obey their restrictions on how long you stay, work, etc.


Sgt Mom

OH by the way forgot to tell you: every Saint has a past and every Sinner has a future! Guess what: I am a Saint and a Sinner!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by Navywifeinparadise:

quote:

Originally posted by brooklyngirl1:
It is sad that you have to rely on your husbands rank (SGT Mom)that means nothing once he leaves you for somebody else, only you will be a divorced Mom, no don't say that never will happen to you.

Actually her husband isnt in the Army he is in the Navy and is a RETIRED Officer of over 20 some odd years. She uses the title Sgt Mom because of who she is and many of us moms can be, a Drill Sgt! He has adjusted to the civilian work force and employed. So they don't need to "adjust" as you term it. He works hard and so does she. She has a life and so do us all.

There are relationships and marriages that do work. Not everyone is a fairy tale but that is because of the person and doesn't matter if it is civilian or military it ends the same way. But there is no need to bring all the negativity to mean that it will happen to every one. This girl asked a question, it was answered so there you go.

So now you have to talk for her?
Drill Seargant or Seargant.... I don't think so! Only if you were one than you deserve to use it and not because your husband had it. This is another abuse of using ranks.

Also some people don't like to hear the truth isn't that Right? It is not everyone but statistic is a higher rate than you would agree with because you are afraid to say Yes She is right!
See the difference between you and I is that I tell the truth and tell people what could happen but I am also there when they are in need.

quote:

Originally posted by brooklyngirl1:
Andi, all you need is get a visa so you can stay in Germany for a little while and also you will be able to stay on the Army base at their hotel,your byfriend has to reserve the room for you as soon as he knows you will be visiting and then let him show you around.

She only wants to go for a week or two, so she does NOT need a visa. Whether staying on post will be practical or not depends on the rules of the post. If, because she has no military ID, she needs her escort to remain with her on post and he has to work while she is there, it may not be practical.

Brooklyn ... you're done. All you're doing is attacking other posters and being disruptive. Let it go or you will be subject to suspension for violation of terms of service.

Actually my husband did over 24 years in the Navy as an AW. August 13th is our 26th wedding anniversary. I'm not the one with the problem - you are.

I got the moniker Sgt Mom for a website I ran for years in support and information for military families. It needed to be a title with a military connotation so it would show as a site for military families and not just a "mom support group" for civilians.

Again, with your need to prove yourself and make yourself bigger and better than others here, you are the one with the problem. I have nothing to prove.

"Regulars" here on the boards know me well as I've been a mod here for roughly 10 years. For the most part I give no nonsense advice and counsel.

Your fight is with your husband - not us.

Since you found fit to attack a moderator openly on the boards you are now suspended. In order to get your privileges back you will need to contact me directly to plead your case at sgtmom@gmail.com. Or you may go to my supervisor directly at milforadmin@gmail.com. His name is Rob.


Sgt Mom

I looked up the statistics for abuse... military and civilian.... here is what I found...

44% of all women surveyed in America report having been the victims of abuse at one time or another in their lives......

25 per 1000 women affiliated with the military report having been abused.... that makes the percentage less than 3% right????

So um... that means Domestic abuse in the military isn't as prevalent as brooklyngirl1 would like everyone to believe correct??

I heard they built that new Mega Mall over in Germany near Ramstein but I cant seem to find much information about it. I read that it has 300 visiting quarters, but (still being new to the whole military world) I am not really sure what that means... I dont know if that means they are for militray personnel to use, or if they are for cases like this where family members go visit loved ones who are on the base. Has anyone else heard about this?