Unfortunately, after 5 months of marriage, I am leaving my wife due to her noncooperation toward our relationship, or for herself, and because her family hounds me for money because I'm in the service.

There are a couple major issues with the annulment that I was hoping could be addressed. She lives in New Hampshire, and I'm currently residing in Virginia. I am acquiring BAH for her residency in NH, and have been sending her money. On top of that, I have our bills to pay including phone, car, insurance, and her wedding rings and other jewelry.

She wants the annulment as soon as possible. If we get an annulment, will I still receive BAH? I understand that in some circumstances, if we were renting a place together, the Navy may possibly continue giving BAH due to responsibility to a lease. However, she refuses to let me put her name on a lease, due to our separation.

I'm not trying to be fraudulent, but I'm still paying off nearly $1,500 on her wedding rings, which I won't be able to afford if I'm not receiving BAH. I'm quite concerned that I may have to sell my car to make the payments.

As an E-2, I'm not making much money as it is; and getting my pay cut back down, with more payments than I began with, is truthfully terrifying. Because I am still paying for the rings, do I have any legal right to take them back?

I don't mean to be a jerk, but the biggest reason that our marriage is failing is because throughout the 5 years of our relationship, she's never put anything into it. I've been paying the tickets to see each other, paying her mom to help with utilities and food, sending money for her to buy clothes and go out, and her mom (who can barely take care of her own kids) took them to Disney world, and didn't budget to feed her; she said I needed to send money, which I did; but my point is, she shouldn't be going to Disney World if she's in debt and can't afford to feed her family. I bought both of our wedding rings, as well as other jewelry, a guitar, etc. and she is uncooperative as to helping me, financially. She dropped out of college, and hasn't had a job in 2 years, and hasn't gotten a drivers license (because she says I don't send money).

What are my legal options, and what would you recommend? I plan on going to Fleet and Family Services soon. I'm under a lot of financial pressure, and am worried that this failed marriage will continue to burn holes in my wallet, even after we separate. Thank you and God Bless!

ITSA Johnstone

If you are in AIT/A School then BAH w/dependents will not be paid anymore, if it is put it in the bank and don't touch it at all. They can and will take it back. You will not be allowed to live off base afterwards unless it is approved by the command itself. Normally at least E5 for the Navy unless barracks are full then E4. If you get permission it will be BAH w/o dependents. If you are not in school and are stationed there living in barracks you shouldn't have been getting BAH at all. Make

If you are paying off the wedding rings and she wants an annulment then you need to demand them back, she doesn't keep them. Make sure you get it back, go to court if you have to. If the car is in your name, sell it and find something cheaper. If you have a bank account in both your names, close it and open one for you only, have all pay going into that. Save as much as possible now. Put a warning on your Social, so that if anyone tries to take out a loan, credit card, etc.. you will be notified. Run a credit check as well. Make sure when the annulment is done that you get her Military ID back if she has one and that you go to PSD and have her name taken out of DEERS. Also make sure it is taken out of Tricare. change your deductions as well because it means you will now be single w/no dependents not married.

If you are at a command, talk to your LPO about it and ask for help in budgeting. They can help you that way.

correct me if I'm wrong, but none of that applies until after they are legally split. Last I knew in VA there was a required 1 year waiting period between filing and it being finalized.

Whether you can demand the rings back is dependent on state law. I'd take this year (if it still applies) to fix yourself and set yourself up to be financially successful. Shed as much debt as you can, get yourself into the barraks. Also, make sure you have documentation of the money you've sent her and her mother and such for the court.

Where did you finance her rings through? you may be able to get NFCU or another bank to give you an unsecured loan at a lower interest rate for the balance remainder to lower your monthly payments so it's easier to give up your BAH.

Are there kids involved?

i would pay for all the bills through your account so you have the ability to taje her off of them/stop them when the paper work for it is through.

and then i would send her an allowance say $100 a week for food an living costs by check with stub or money order o you can track it so she cant claim your not supporting her(unless there is a min by state law she requires). nothing more its enough to live on if she needs more she will have to work, ignore her whining about not having money shes an adult. and she will soon be living off her own support anyway

as mentioned claim everything through court if you have to. id get the rings and car and everything back make sure again as mentioned she doesnt have the ability to put things in your name and run up tabs on credit which will screw you in the long run.

best of luck to you

Thank you all very much for your input, you've all been extremely helpful. I'm going to talk to Navy legal, and an atourney out in town to see about getting those rings back. I am financed to the necklace, bracelet, and the wedding band. Again, thank you all very much and God bless!