I am a prior service enlisted Air Force member. I have been worried about how I would be able to manage joining seeing as how my fiance that I thought would be there through my air force career broke it off with me. That was early, the air force took almost a year to find me a job placement, so the break up and resulting drama was a while ago. I moved on very quickly and air force is taking for ever, so time lines may seem weird. =D
Anyways, there is a wonderful girl that I have known for a long time. Me and the previous girl broke off shortly after my really good friend, at that time, left for army boot camp. She got out, and the two of us talked, texted, IMd and had a couple webcam dates. lol.
We have decided to try a relationship together in the three months that our time at home will overlaps. She's army guard, so she will be home a good while. I just don't know how much I want to ride into this relationship, I obviously plan to ride out the three months, plus time after my Boot and AIT. But I have very strong feelings about this army brat. I just want to make sure I'm not thinking too much into the relationship. with her fresh in the military, I know I'm not 100% sure about what is going on in her mind. and I'm not sure how to ask with out sounding too clingy or progressive. I don't want to chase her away, in easiest terms I guess. lol
Originally posted by 22992822: I obviously plan to ride out the three months, plus time after my Boot and AIT.
FYI - AF is basic training and tech school.
I take it you are trying to get back into the AF. Are you still waiting to hear if the AF will allow you to come back in? The AF has only been letting a few career fields come back in. And do you know where and how long your tech school is? What is your career field? What is hers?
I am not trying to get back in. I am a first time enlisted, (hence the lack of terminology knowledge LOL) I am listed as an electronics aptitude. lol. so besides that, you know as much as I do. I DO have an official leave date for the air force though, I will be going to boot camp. Can't wait, I'm from a very strong Air Force family, and I can't wait to serve the country in uniform. She is involved with the military's defense against chemical warfare.
okay, I think I have this now - You aren't prior enlisted because you haven't gone through basic training yet. And you don't know your AFSC because you haven't been assigned one yet. So, there is no way to know how long your tech school will be. Where your first duty station will be is anyone's guess, so I would just prepare for a long distance relationship with this woman.
Ya, I misread the current status. I changed it to reservist, I guess that best explains my situation. I pretty much figured that a long distance relationship was the gist of it. I've never really had one before though. I have friends that say they've been able to do them, and others that say long distance relationships don't even exist. lol I guess I was hoping some people would be able to tell me some of their own stories, the good, bad and ugly ones so I could get an idea what what to expect from different situations, and ways to work towards best possible out comes.
Even if people do tell you their stories, whether successful or unsuccessful, you can't really judge how yours will go. Long distance relationships can work--as long as both people are wholeheartedly invested in it. I think it's time to just buck up and ask her how she feels about you two having a more committed relationship.
There's really no way to find out if it'll last until you two give it a try.
since you havent even left to basic yet or gone through tech school, i would wait to discuss your relationship till your at your first PDS and see how being on your own away from the home setting here its safe and comforting and you meet new friends and possibly women to evaluate your relationship.
stay together but have the serious conversation when your settled at your first base, then you will know a bit better if its what you want, and if you can manage it.
because it will be a permenant long distance realtionship and thats hard enough to deal with on its own, and being young and having to square away things in yourhead on work alone can be daunting.
and also I personally don't see cyber dating being a good foundation for a relationship (personal opinion i know) but see how your time together goes, but take it with a pinch of salt, when you throw people together in a high emotional situation their feelings are not always the same as they would be normally.
if you want the good the bad and the ugly i can give you plenty of my own stories, and friends stories (all male stories on their end I have to be a shoulder to cry on for my husbands firends bless them, who left girls they loved from high school, or who they met and imdeiatly decided a commited realtionship was the key and 9/10 times they got hurt or ended up unhappy) but that doesnt mean its your relationship and how it will work out, Ive had long distance where it blew up and he though the fix was to marry me and he was an idiot, and thenones where it worked perfectly, just at different points in our lives and careers, and then ones that made you think you never would date again lol. doesnt mean you will have the same experience.
but i would hold my cards close to my chest untill you get to your first base and settled in a bit, basic and tech school if you havent really been away from your home or neighbourhood can change your take on people and life
Thanks all for the responses. rgbilyeu, that was very insightful so thank you too. I can imagine its easy to say things like, "that won't happen to us" or "that doesn't seem possible with us" so I am trying to take the relationship seriously, but keep the thought that this could all blow up in my face in the back of my mind. Just so I can have the reaction time to pull my face out of the way and not get hurt. That's obviously a conversation the two of us should have before I leave for the air force. It should be an interesting life experience either way.
For any of you that MIGHT be following, She's home and its super nice to have her home. She's meeting her unit today. Our time together right now couldn't be better.
