My fiance is a U.S. Marine we've been together for a long time now and I decided to join the Navy. We're not expecting to be stationed close at all seeing as though we are not married and even if we were co-location is a small possibility. The stress is starting to wear on us but we mostly talk it out. I don't want to become a bitter ex-wife or ex period. I trust him and he trusts me. We're trying to decided at this point if marriage is a good idea, (we're not doing it expecting marriage to fix anything, heard others think marriage will) seeing as we're going to be far from each other for long periods of time. Is it possible? Or even practical? We know it will be hard but the questions are still there. Anyone that knows or have experienced something like it please help.

There is probably a better change of being stationed near each other between those two branches than any of the others given that they are both Dept. of the Navy. I don't know if it's still true but, back when I was in, most naval bases had at least some Marines stationed there. We had a large contigent at NavSta Subic Bay. The Marines also had a good sized contigent on Okinawa and the Navy had two or three bases on the island.

It is quite possible that he could pull Embassy duty in Argentina and you get stationed in Alaska but that is the reality of a dual military relationship. That type of thing could happen even if you were both in the same branch. Even without you joining the Navy, there are deployments and the likelihood of him being stationed somewhere that you can't go.

If your overriding concern is being near him, and the two of you think marriage is a possibility, then get married and get a civilian job. That way you will be allowed to go where he goes unless it is an unaccompanied tour or he gets deployed.

What do you plan to do in the Navy? If you do anything medical you have a very good chance at being able to be stationed on a marine base.

My rating is CTN. So honestly I don't know where I'm going to be. Oh and for the other reply I'm joining the Navy because I wanted to. I've always wanted to be in the military but my plans were pushed back (it turned out better that way). Of course I would love to get stationed with him but my main concern was to if it was possible for relationship and even a possible marriage to work. Either way I joined the Navy for myself. Thanks for the posts. I hope my post didn't come off rude.

quote:

Originally posted by maoms:
What do you plan to do in the Navy? If you do anything medical you have a very good chance at being able to be stationed on a marine base.

Females getting into the Rating of HM in the Navy is very difficult. It was closed for awhile but did open this year but very little. Even going into that Rating there is no guarantees you will get to a Marine Base.

Navy wife in Paradise
no matter what I post you seem to need to correct what I say. I have been married 31 years, 20 of them my husband was active duty Navy. One of my sons was air force and my daughter is in the Navy. I try to be very supportive when I post and work hard to only make educated comments .
My daughter is medical and she is thinking about Lejune or Bethesda right now.

As to the original question, many of us have been away from our loved ones for a year or more at a time. If you both decide this relationship is important, anything is possible. In the military you will never be alone. You will be around others who are seperated from their loved ones.

quote:

Originally posted by maoms:
Navy wife in Paradise
no matter what I post you seem to need to correct what I say. I have been married 31 years, 20 of them my husband was active duty Navy. One of my sons was air force and my daughter is in the Navy. I try to be very supportive when I post and work hard to only make educated comments .

I don't know where you get the idea that I correct everything you say. With this post I was stating a fact. HM for females is very hard to get into. Until last year they didn't allow any females in except for maybe a few if they were lucky. Five of my female AD friends are HM and only 1 was able to get stationed on a Marine base and she was lucky.

NWIP is right, HM closed for females entirely early last year with very few slots opening very sparatically with the srart of this FY.

Male HM is different entirely, as more are needed, though the rating was closed to males before the end of the last FY as well.

Another thing is, we dont encourage people to go to a recruiter wanting a certain job right now. With recruiting so high, unless you go to the recruiter specifically wanting NUKE or SEAL (and are base qualified) you will be shown the door if you are job locked.

Recruiting is a lot different now than it was even a few years ago.

But its a non-point anyway she is CTN

quote:

My rating is CTN. So honestly I don't know where I'm going to be. Oh and for the other reply I'm joining the Navy because I wanted to. I've always wanted to be in the military but my plans were pushed back (it turned out better that way). Of course I would love to get stationed with him but my main concern was to if it was possible for relationship and even a possible marriage to work. Either way I joined the Navy for myself.

Good for you! Good luck in your career! !!!!!!

as a memeber of the Secret Squirel Brigade you stand a far better chance of getting stationed at an ARMY base and no where near the Marines.. Gordon and Meade will be you two most likely probabilities.

so if it is meant to be, it will work out no matter where you end up stationed.

Welcome to the dark side. we have Foosball tables( inside joke from one of DH's ships)

Mrsjvb-I have no clue what that meant but hopefully one of these days I will find out. It still was quite funny. Thank you for the information.
catherine0830- Thank you for the support. I was actually offered the NUKE position too. But yeah you see how that went. My recruiter is an HM2 which is so awesome but before we got into anything she told me about the limited jobs in the NAVY.
Navywifeinparadise- Thank you for the information.
maoms- Thank you for the information and support. I was actually thinking the same thing. Hopefully it works out but either way I have a job to do.

one of the possible situations you can find yourself in is DIRSUP: Direct Support. It's shore duty.. that isn't. you would go TAD to ships or squadrons as necessary. Each DIRSUP command does things differently.. some, like DH's command in Yokosuka, would assign one IWO a team of CTx who would always go on the same ship/squadron when needed, substituting only the Linguist as mission parameters dictated.

and ships like to do yearbooks cronicalling their major deployments. Well USS MCCAIN did just that one year, and of course like any self respecting yearbook, they had 'class photos' where each division was represented.

I quote to you the description of DH's team from the yearbook:

"We don't really know who these people are or what they do. All we're sure of is they come on board at the beginning of the cruise, get locked in a tiny room, and leave six months later.. Apparently, if they told us anything, we'd have to be killed."

and then below that is a picture of a foosball table with the caption: "what's really behind the Hatch."

In Yoko, the buidling is surrounded by a veerrrryy tall barbed wire fence and there are no windows at all. some of the more.. exuberant of the command wanted to paint murals on the walls depicting 'windows' in which you could see sailors playing pool, or lounging in hot tubs. Alas, it was shot down by CFAY for projecting the wrong image to visitors.. it was pretty much the second building past the gate.

a very fun idea though...