I am currently a student in AFROTC, and will be commissioning this December. My current girlfriend (maybe soon to be fiancee) is also a cadet in AFROTC and will commission this May. I have no prior military experiience or family members in the military. I am considering my options with my girlfriend and want to know what I'm getting myself into before I make a big decision. I will be heading to ASBC and then to Tyndall AFB for ABM undergrad school sometime this spring. My girlfriend is categorized for aircraft maintenance and doesn't know her duty assignment yet. Here are some questions I have regarding my current relationship and situation.

1) If I decide to propose to my girlfriend, when would be the best time to get married?

2) If I don't decide to propose to my girlfriend and later on down the road we decide to get married, how difficult is it to get stationed together?

3) When would we likely be able to live at the same base if we got married in May/June '09? (I am not sure how any of this works with my undergrad ABM training)

Any other advice you could offer would be great. I really don't know what to do yet, and I need to make a decision sometime in the next 2 or 3 months. Please help!

1) If I were to

If you can't decide whether to propose or not, then you aren't ready to get married.

The couples I know that are both military haven't had a lot of trouble getting assigned to the same base.
But I agree with dekeoboe. Of course it's good to plan ahead, but if these questions are a deal breaker then I wouldn't be planning a wedding any time soon. Wait until you have a better idea of where she'll be headed. Good luck.

It sounds like you think you want to get married either way, you're just trying to decide whether to propose sooner or later. Remember, an engagement can be as long as you want it to (and your fiancé to be may be glad to have more planning time should that be the case), so if you are planning on proposing either way, base it on your feelings, not how soon you want to get married.

As far as the marriage itself, I understand your concerns. My hubby graduated AROTC last year, and we timed our wedding long enough before he left for training that we could get the name change taken care of and get me into DEERS as his spouse (I am not military, however, so it's a little different). At that point he already had his training and first PCS orders. It may be easier in some respects to get married before she has formal PCS orders, but such orders can also change, even if it means waiting until after she is done with training to have the wedding. My guess is that after her post-ROTC training would be the soonest you could live together anyway.

My advice, though, incorporates what they have said above. Make sure that you are wanting to propose to her for the right reasons. Be sure that you are not just thinking about it because you are both graduating soon and you are afraid of being apart. If you are considering proposing only because you're about to commission, you are doing it for the wrong reasons and need to re-evaluate. Many people make quick, poorly-though-out decisions to get married after college and end up regretting it. Be sure that your motivation is solid - that you know you love her and you really want to share the rest of your life with her, and that she feels the same. If so, then congrats, and good luck.

If you are positive you want to marry her, and are just worried about the timing and trying to plan a ceremony etc etc... Do a quick courthouse wedding, get all your paperwork in, and plan a ceremony and reception for when you are both out of training.

If you are only "I think I want to marry this girl" you should probably wait. Marriage isn't a "thinking" matter, you either KNOW you want to marry her.... or you don't.

Just my 2cents.

I understand the thought process that you are putting into this. If you choose to get married after you are both a seperate bases you would just both need to get a join spouse code put into Milpds (though your respective CSS) and then they would match you two based off the AF needs. I've seen this situation many times, and 9 times of of 10 they match the couples up. So it's really all about personal preference. I'm sure if you go through with it and then just wait until the both of you finish training it would be just fine.