:Lts peeing {Micturating} in SR Nco helments, Ncos defacating in trash bags stuffing them in the Lts rucksacks!

My Roomate and I were the RTOs for our CO. We would run like mad to put him in "The Hole" while conducting Airmobile ops. He would complain about being frozen, never did figure out he could order us to move and put one of us in the hole.

Back in the days as a Scout we had PCs with cats eyes on them, the first trick we played on FNGs while conducting movements at night, was to take your PC off and slower lower it. The guy behind you would walk gently looking for the downhill slope.

The other one was to put a set of cat eyes on a black 3X5 card. When the patrol stops,cover the cats eyes on your headgear and pin the 3x5 card to a tree. When the patrol moves out the FNG will hear it and walk up and tap the tree , to see why it's not moving.

I know you Infantry guys have no idea what a GP medium is, or an army cot. But try to keep up.

We used to take our noobs and secure them with hundred mile n hour tape and tilt their cots head down from the center poles of the GP mediums.


Had a great joke we'ld run on the noobs too. I would go up to one of them, laughing my ass off. Telling them, to ask my buddy Rex why his sister can't roller skate. I'ld tell them it was funny as hell.

They'ld go ask him, and he would go into a fit of rage, chewing, cussing them out, telling him his sister was in a wheel chair since age 10.

They'ld come back all peaced off at us, we'ld be rolling our asses off. Except for Rex, he played his part very, very well.

We had one guy avoid Rex for weeks, cause he thought Rex was going to kick his ass.

Yeah we had a couple versions of that second joke,

Ask him how his Mom plays piano, AAAAAh my mom has no hands!!!

or ask him how his brother swims AAAAHH my brother drowned!!!!



It's all fun and games until you run into the guy that actually had a family member with a similar problem, That usually ended up settled in the woodline.

It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Then it's just hillarious...

There's always the time honored tradition of adding large rocks to someone's ruck.

Or filling his ruck up with the extra M-60 ammo when he went looking for a tree!!

When I was in Germany we spent alot of time at a missile site. You had to always be at the ready so we had our flak vest and LBE hanging on the bed posts. We would shorten all the straps on the victim's LBE so his ammo pouches would be on his chest and his canteens are under his armpits. Then we would have an alert and you had like 5 minutes to be out of the building...can't be adjusting that crap right then. Used to put shoe polish on helmet headbands and inside gas masks. Nair in shampoo, oral gel in toothpaste.

I had one friend that would go to the chow hall and intenionally eat a sald with peppers, lot of eggs and cheese and whatever else would give him gas...then he would sit in the tower and turn the heat up and fart repeatedly for his relief.

If they have a spare pair of boots, putting shaving cream in a pair is always a good joke. Creepy-crawlies in said boots and down shirts/pants a good one too. My personal favorite, and this one requires a bit of finesse, is to take someone's patches (except the flag) and flip them all upside down while that person is sleeping. After they wake up tell them some uptight NCO is looking for them and then watch the show. I've only done this to people who needed to be taken down a notch but it was still funny :P

My cousin, who just returned from his second tour in Iraq earlier this year, told me it is mandatory to pull a prank a day on your fister. That was his advice to me as I enter my Infantry career. Is that true?

Everytime we went out on a Battalion size operation, we'd get an ANGLICO Team, from Camp Swampy, assigned to each Company.

We were infamous for moving out and leaving them behind.
If we stopped for a break, the Marines would all congregate together, off on their own.
Chow time, off on their own they'd go.
It was like they didn't like how we smelled....or something. Well, time to move out, we moved. OOPS! It was always a contest to see who could lose their ANGLICO the most times in one day.

Hey now, you don't want to mess with your FIST to much. You never know when you'll need indirect fire now!

Our FIST guys were great, they'd been our Mortar Platoon Forward Observers before going to the Artillary. They were like family to us.

quote:

Originally posted by 13F_Chief:
If they have a spare pair of boots, putting shaving cream in a pair is always a good joke. Creepy-crawlies in said boots and down shirts/pants a good one too. My personal favorite, and this one requires a bit of finesse, is to take someone's patches (except the flag) and flip them all upside down while that person is sleeping. After they wake up tell them some uptight NCO is looking for them and then watch the show. I've only done this to people who needed to be taken down a notch but it was still funny :P

Thats a lot of work though. What you need to do is use their own imagination against them, it's far better.

So on the boot prank for example. Start a discusion about scorpions or posionous spiders crawling into peoples boots because they are warm after being removed. Get some good stories in there about nasty bites and how toes or feet had to be medically partially amputated.

Then drop one of those wire rifle bore brushes down the boot while they have the boots off making sure it rests in the toe.

It's always a good show either acoustically or visually, depending if your in your rack or not.

quote:

Originally posted by ErichG2:
Thats a lot of work though. What you need to do is use their own imagination against them, it's far better.

So on the boot prank for example. Start a discusion about scorpions or posionous spiders crawling into peoples boots because they are warm after being removed. Get some good stories in there about nasty bites and how toes or feet had to be medically partially amputated.

Then drop one of those wire rifle bore brushes down the boot while they have the boots off making sure it rests in the toe.

It's always a good show either acoustically or visually, depending if your in your rack or not.

Ahahaha, you are a villain my friend!

I remember back in the day when we all lived in open bay barracks, we did lots of stuff. One was catching a guy napping on his bunk during lunch with his hand hanging over the edge. Would take a helmet filled with warm water, and ease it up so his hand was in the water. It would relax him, causing him to **** his pants. It worked real well when done about 5 mins before formation.

Another one done on the weekends, was on the old army beds when stacked. We would remove the small springs around the edge under the mattress, and replace with string. When the guy came in, and climbed up into his bunk, it would come crashing down. Another done to the old bunks, was to pull the mattress's off, flip the complete bunk over, then put the mattress's back on. This put the curved section of the top bunk on the bottom at the floor. When the guy came in from a night of drinking and tried to get in bed, it would start to tilt. In many cases, he would give up, and sleep on the floor.

The peanut butter or jelly packs from MRE's can be taped around an artillery or grenade simulator. Throw one of these in a GP medium during the summer and the bugs will feast on atomized PB&J particles. It's like a CSI episode but more entertaining.