Hi Folks,
While covering a movement to contact range, I watch a LT put 250 lbs of charcoal in a dumpster, pour 5 gallons of mogas, while standing on top! Drum roll please, light a match and drop it. He flew about 50 feet in the air and was sent home as a civilian.

We were playing the bad guys against some other unit, including the Division Armor Battalion (Sheridans). They were chasing us all over. One guy turned to throw a Grenade Simulator but dropped it. He picked it up to throw it again. It went off in his hand. He just stood there for a few seconds, string at what was left of his hand. Then the screaming started.

One time down at Rucker. We were aggressors for another Company from my Battalion in the field. We CS'd on a Company of AIT students on a road march. NONE of them had gas masks! It was great! Aviation pukes.

We were out for an ARTEP, it had ended at 2400 and we were admin. Just waiting for the trucks to come pick us up when hot chow arrrived. We were serving/eating chow when a couple guys from our aggressors set up a CS generator upwind from the Company.

One of our PSGs walked over and asked what they thought they were doing. He told them the exercise was over and we were admin. They fired it up anyway.

There was a Report of Survey done, for the ruined chow. The idiots got to pay for breakfast for an entire Infantry Company plus attachments, about 200 guys.

I was on that one also roflmao!



QUOTE]Originally posted by gumbydammit:
We were playing the bad guys against some other unit, including the Division Armor Battalion (Sheridans). They were chasing us all over. One guy turned to throw a Grenade Simulator but dropped it. He picked it up to throw it again. It went off in his hand. He just stood there for a few seconds, string at what was left of his hand. Then the screaming started.[/QUOTE]

Heres the story of Lt snuffy, while in the Sinai, we had a Lt get releaved and placed in the ast s-4 to bide his time. I was ordered to do an urine test on the company and fly to all the outposts, He went along to update hand receipts. So we are getting ready to lift off, he runs up and opens his shatchel all the hand receipts go into rotor blades blown every where!
Smart aye!

Police call time!!!

Naye, we flew off and left him standing on the lz!

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Originally posted by gumbydammit:
Police call time!!!

As recently as August 2008, A certain NCO who was stationed in BAJI was bruning cardboard in a 55 gallon drum. It seems the cardboard wasn't burning fast enough so he waited til it burned out. Dumped a large portion of a 5 gallon fuel can (MOGAS) into the drum stood next to it and lit a match. After the fireball that was seen by space subsided, He said OUCH and proceeded to Hyperventilate. After singing his eyebrows and getting some minor burns on his face and hands, He made such a fuss that he was medevaced to a filed hospital and sat in bed for few days with actual injured Soldiers and a Medical unit that wanted to ship him to the morgue to stop his complaining. Within two hours of the event we had a Power point presentation prepared and e-mailed all around about his stupidity. Talk about a Darwin Award.

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Within two hours of the event we had a Power point presentation prepared and e-mailed all around about his stupidity.

One of the few times Power Point is used correctly, no doubt.
We had a Joe put together a PP show on how to create, use, and maintain the M69 Field Expedient Fifi...

Had an eight day FTX and it rained a bunch the entire 8 days. It was November in North Carolina so daytime temps were around 50-55 degrees which with rain can make things miserable. Fortunately there was enough dry time to get things dried out a bit like socks etc. Well the exercise was pretty much over and we were just waiting for endex. At that point everybody used their poncho on the jeeps to make a hooch to stay dry. It started to pour. It was raining so hard nobody wanted to leave the cover of their jeep to get hot chow for our last meal. Well my dumbazz West Point LT decided he wanted to be like his men, so he got out from under his COVERED jeep ithout a poncho on, got some chow and then proceeded to stand in the rain and eat his hot chow. He said to a real good friend of mine that was his driver, that when he saw his men going to get hot chow and being hard core and not wearing a poncho to get chow...he said he wanted to be like his men and get soaked. Of course the reason we did not have ponchos on is because we were using them to turn the jeeps into a hooch to stay dry. The LT shivered for several hours before we got the call to endex. West Point can really crank 'em out.

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West Point can really crank 'em out.

Helps out OCS guys like myself

I'm gonna resist the urge to bash on LTs until I either get out of the Army or make Captain. To do otherwise does not help my self esteem issues...

So, had this "fresh young officer" in my unit once who tried to out-hooah the PVTs and SPCs with big knives. This cat carried a Crocodile Dundee meets Prince Ali saber-like machete in the small of his back everywhere he went. It was under his blouse, but he could pull it out really, really fast. Homeboy could throw it into a tree and have it burry itself 4 inches deep. He could probably shave with it if he wanted to, it's how sharp it was. None of this helped him when he fell backwards into the schit-trench while downloading class one and stabbed himself in the back with it.
Nice slice, no serious damage, but lots of blood. It was one of the better "You did WHAT, Sir!?" moments I've been through

Fort Hood, TX in 1989 during EIB training. Things were slow at one of the stations so a couple of NCO's starting goofing around with blank .223 rounds. One of them gets the bright idea to experiment and see if he can shoot a cleaning rod from an M-16 using a blank round. He proceeds to shoot a section of cleaning rod into a nearby tree while missing his buddy's head by inches. The cleaning rod was so deeply imbedded in the tree that neither one could pull it out.

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while missing his buddy's head by inches. The cleaning rod was so deeply imbedded in the tree that neither one could pull it out.

That would have been a fun letter home...

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Originally posted by rocketman69:
Fort Hood, TX in 1989 during EIB training. Things were slow at one of the stations so a couple of NCO's starting goofing around with blank .223 rounds. One of them gets the bright idea to experiment and see if he can shoot a cleaning rod from an M-16 using a blank round. He proceeds to shoot a section of cleaning rod into a nearby tree while missing his buddy's head by inches. The cleaning rod was so deeply imbedded in the tree that neither one could pull it out.

This was a popular thing to do during the Cold War when you had Miles in the field, believe it or not. Remove the blank adapter and insert cleaning rod in the end of the barrel. It wasn't very accurate at long distances and it was very dangerous because of what you observed but I saw a lot of troops do it.

Other less dangerous but interesting items:

The famous C-Ration can launch out of the back of the practice TOW Tube using a Army issued Electronic M-80. Then they replaced C-Rations with MRE's about 1983. Those would fly pretty far on that charge. Favorite round was Ham and Eggs.

Of course the infamous WIARNG Steel Pot Launch at Ft. McCoy Wisconsin using a Artillery Blast Simulator underneath. Now you needed a E5 SGT for that because they didn't give out that level of pyro to a E3.

Looked like a rocket taking off the smoke would shoot out from underneath the helmut....then BOOM!, the steel pot would go way up into the sky and almost seem to disappear from view.

We were careful to watch for low flying Hueys or A-10s so we didn't accidently hit anything expensive. You just can't do that with Kevlars and still have them be serviceable.

Another trick was sticking a fired blank, into the Flash Suppressor the launching to with a blank. Never did find one after firing it.

Although it wasn't "in the field" the dumbest thing I ever saw was during Airborne School in 1991.

We were in the 2nd week doing the tall tower drops. Anybody who has gone through knows the procedure. The chute is attached to a metal ring which in turn is attached to a cable. The chute & jumper are raised to the top of the tower and then dropped. Once the jumper is at the top of the tower the black hat instructs the jumper to unhook the safety harness and pull the loose end over the ring and then drop it to the ground. He's then ready to go.

This dumb private right out of OSUT is next up so he gets harnassed up and ready. They lift him up to the top of the tower and then the black hat tells him to unhook the safety harness attaching him to the metal ring. The dumb private complies and drops the safety harness to the ground as instructed. He then proceeds to open up one of the quick release buckles on his harness and starts tugging away with all his might to try and pull the wire quick release. Needless to say we all just watched in horrer as the black hat is screaming through his bull-horn to stop what he's doing. This retard doesn't listen and just keeps tugging away on that quick release. Finally the black hat tells the guy in the tower to lower him down quickly before he kills himself. The moment this knucklehead lands on the ground 3 black hats decend upon him and proceed to smoke him something fierce.

quote:

Originally posted by rocketman69:
Fort Hood, TX in 1989 during EIB training. Things were slow at one of the stations so a couple of NCO's starting goofing around with blank .223 rounds. One of them gets the bright idea to experiment and see if he can shoot a cleaning rod from an M-16 using a blank round. He proceeds to shoot a section of cleaning rod into a nearby tree while missing his buddy's head by inches. The cleaning rod was so deeply imbedded in the tree that neither one could pull it out.

I got my EIB at 'Hood in '89 with the LRS detachment. Guess I missed that incident. Ha!