I have been married to two Naval Vets. The first had just retired after 21 yrs when we met. He had hypertension even the. The last years of his life (we were married 21yrs)I cared for him with diabetes, prostrate cancer/surgury (and an absess that followed),stroke (and at times I was his crutch). He remained at home through this and in the process, I developed high blood press & ruptured a disk in my back (surgury)...I was still recovering from that when he had a massive heart attack...With that and other health issues I was not able to work. I did the usual. Asked for help. Denied. SSI. Denied. Widow's benefits.Denied. The aspect of becoming homeless with my probs especially, was terrifying. A long time friend (to both of us) who was also disabled & a Vet of Korea, told me "As long as I have a place,so do you". So I became part of his household (married). I helped him & he me...He passed away Dec.7th this year after 12+ yrs of marriage (from liver disease). Here again I took care of him (with a little help) at home til it was impossible. He entered the Veterans' Home in Augusta, ME
Still I travelled back & forth to attend to legal issues & keeping him happy & comfortable. I was with him when he passed... Both of my husbands died knowing they were loved & not alone.
But now again, I face some pretty bleak issues. Live at 60 degrees to stay above freezing. NO income to deal with even the basic expenses, to say nothing about the 14 meds I have to take daily... Where is the justice in my situation?? So far I have seen none.
Darlene (Barnes) Eccleston, Maine

Darlene, I am convinced there is no justice for veterans or their widows. My husband did 20 yrs in the Army. He joined very young to escape a terrible situation at home where he'd been abused beyond belief. 16 of his 20 yrs were spent overseas - Nam, Berlin Wall, Korea, Panama, etc. He actually lost his U.S. Citizenship once because he was out of the country too long. He returned from one of his stints in Korea and, upon getting off the plane, was sent to another plane and shipped off to Nam. He was highly decorated. When we married and because I had been disable at 36 by a drunk lawyer (no help of any kind!) my husband wanted to be sure and provide for me in case he died first. He did - of a number of things agent orange causes. It was horrible but he died at home in my arms - barely 70. He was the love of my life. We had discussed life insurance in the beginning but decided on the SBP instead. He wanted to be sure I could maybe live above poverty level. It works a lot like an insurance policy. You pay in and, if he dies first, I get a portion of his retirement benefit. On the other hand, if I died first, none of his money would be returned. On his death, I applied for his VA benefit and got it. Next thing I know, Army Finance is calling me to tell me they are stopping my SBP benefit because you can't have both! Agent Orange has nothing to do with SBP or visa versa! He paid for the SBP as a replacement for life insurance.
Three widows went to court on this issue and a federal judge agreed with them. The article came out the day after my conversation with Army Finance so I was really relieved. HOWEVER, the last line of the article stated that Army Finance is appealing it. Of course this means it could drag out for decades. Most likely it will not be resolved in my lifetime and I will have to continue to live on a poverty level. Bt the time t his is resolved, IF IT COMES IN FAVOR OF THE WIDOWS, nearly (if not all) all the Vietnam Veterans and their widows will be gone. Does anyone else see the implication here? They're saving billions of dollars at our expense. The vets that didn't die in the field are dying at home from the same war and that isn't enough. The Army (govt) is going to trample the widows as well. I am going to start a letter-writing campaign on this issue. I hope the judge doesn't allow an appeal but he will be under pressure to allow it.

As I remember it, the ancient Greeks, when one of their soldiers died, would treat the wife and children of the same and would provide and care for them as if the state was the husband and father. The state would become the husband of the veterans widow and the father of his children and provide for and protect both and give both of them an honored position and status.
I believe that we should do the same in the USA.