ok, i am currently at a land unit as an fs3, came here straight from A school. i am due for transfer this season. but i am pregnant, so my transfer is being delayed until november, 6 months after the birth. i know my next unit will be a boat, i have no doubt and i have no problem whatsoever with getting underway, i know i need my sea time. i was just wondering, if any of you are single parents, how did you do it? what arrangements did you make for the care of your child while you were gone? the father of my child is not in the picture, and due to some domestic issues there is no way that he would be allowed even temporary custody. my family would not be able to help either. i am racking my brain on what i can do, and any advice, especially from someone who has been there before would be greatly appreciated. like i said, i don't have a problem with getting underway. i am actually anxious to do so. thanks in advance for the help!
I hear your situation and I have mixed feelings about your situation. My feelings are, if you are not available for world wide assignment, you need to be discharged. Its not fair to those people out there pulling back to back (2 and sometimes 3 ships back to back) because some young lady out there has a child and is a single parent. I do understand that you say you want to get underway. But if youre going to come on a discussion board and ask some questions, be ready to answer some questions. My question is why cant your family help out or assist while you are underway? Have you contacted CG WorkLife about this? Have you brought your concerns up to your command so that they can address them to your detailer? If you havent talked with your command or your detailer, I recommend that you do asap!!
i have no problem whatsoever answering questions and i understand where you are coming from about me being discharged. i am married to the father, we are separated and are awaiting our divorce to be final. this was a planned thing, until we had some domestic incidents shortly after finding out i was pregnant. the only family i have is my mom, and due to the fact that my brother and i were removed from that household due to a very abusive stepfather, that wouldn't work out at all. because she is still married to the guy. my command and my detailer do know the situation, i explained it to the detailer in my email on monday. but then after realizing i had to wait 6 months after the birth before i could transfer, he said we will wait until then. no comment whatsoever on my situation about the baby. i intend to contact worklife, the lady i normally work with on things is out of the office until tomorrow so i am going to give her a call then.
Have you thought about switching rates? YN may be the way to go. I've known a few single parents who didn't have any problems. They don't get underway being a single parent, but are still able to perform all their regular duties. I don't know any single parent HS's but I'm guessing the same would apply. Just something to think about.
Originally posted by big_vito: Have you thought about switching rates? YN may be the way to go. I've known a few single parents who didn't have any problems. They don't get underway being a single parent, but are still able to perform all their regular duties. I don't know any single parent HS's but I'm guessing the same would apply. Just something to think about.
i have thought about it and plan on discussing it with my command. i have heard (not sure how true it is) but since i did go to a school i have to be an fs for a certain amount of time before i could do so.
A military.com forum is not going to solve your problem. We are all just Sea Lawyers here. The best advice I can give you is to keep this a real life issue. The internet can be a dangerous place.
All I can say is good friggin luck. It's a crappy situation you are in. I've seen it done before, but it's tough.
I had a friend who was a CS in the Navy in your situation. She had to fly back to Idaho and leave the baby with her grandma everytime she got deployed.
We've all got family stuff to deal with. Mine is horrible too. Truth be told, no matter what the Coast Guard says about being family freindly, the needs of the service are come first, not us. The mission is our first priority, no matter the impact on our lives.
Only advice I can give you is to contact Work Life because you don't qualify for special needs. Oh yeah, have faith and grin & bear it, cause it's a long ride.
Well my fs2 is a single father and he won't ever see a boat again.
I very seriously doubt that!! If he is only an FS2, he has much more seatime in his future.....or he should be discharged if he cant fulfill his seatime duties. Eight years of seatime is good, but he is in a seagoing rate, if he cant be available for worldwide assignement....he should be discharged.
It would help if you knew where you are going. The AF Base in Omaha has child care for parents sent on deployment or tdy. May not be the ideal solution, but at least here they have the option. Right now we have an OSC here tdy for 6 months, she has spent the last 2 years on a 270 while her children lived with her mom, due to deployments. When I went thru my first divorce, I gave my ex primary custody of my son because the yn's told me that I could still be sent to a big cutter and be on long deployments. I now have custody of him, but I am also on a river tender and my mom is 2 hours away and comes and stays with him when needed.
He has 4 boats under his belt. So I'm pretty sure hewon't see another. Theirs plenty of ID billets out there for him on land. So why should he have to go back to a boat?
thank you all for your responses. i do know that it's the needs of the service first, and even if it comes down with me leaving the child with a close friend who i trust then so be it. i am quite anxious to get underway, this land unit is driving me a little nuts =]
PO Donaldson; You got a great attitude! Shoot me an email at my work address and I can hook you up with some mentors who have been at least very close to your situation and have done well.
Lardman and other; The folks above are correct. Single parenthood is an irrelevant matter in assignments. There may be a few AOs at this minute that have a soft spot, by by regs, they are not allowed to take that into account. The ones that do are doing a GREAT DISSERVICE to our single parents by leading them along, making them think all is honky-dorry. When they transer, just like we do, the next one may have the integrity to do as they are ordered and not consider it. That just means that single parent has invested another X years in a job that they may have to leave. MC
He has 4 boats under his belt. So I'm pretty sure hewon't see another. Theirs plenty of ID billets out there for him on land. So why should he have to go back to a boat?
Okay, I also had 4 boats under my belt as an E-5 and went on to serve on three more cutters. Being an FS means going to sea. Dont think that he will get out of sea time because he has already has 8 years of sea time. I currently have 15 years of sea time and counting... But thats the life of an FS. You accept it if you CHOOSE to be in this rating. The CG is short MANY FS2's right now. What makes you think he will never go back to sea during his career? You are kidding yourself and this FS2 with 8 years of seatime if you think otherwise...
He has be in 16 years. In 4 he's done this is a 3 year tour so unless he makes first then I wouls say he's done. Are you a suppo? Do you wish you would have stayed a cheif/senior cheif which everone you were before you went warrent. What the diffrence?
I am a $uppo on a 378. I was an FSCS before I made warrant. The difference for me is that SK's and FS's both apply for the F&S warrant specialty. So SK's have an edge when it comes to the knowledge base as an F&S. I was a Senior Chief when I decided to go Warrant. It was for more land billets and more choices. If I had made FSCM (I had been number 3 on one FSCM list), my choices would have been very limited as to where I could get stationed. As a Warrant, my choices are boundless. I do miss being an FSCS and there are times when I wish that I would have stayed in rate... I will always be an FS at heart. On a different note, I was under the impression that he had way less than 16 years of service in. He may not see another cutter under those circumstances, but you never know. I was under the impression that he was much younger and didnt have so many years in... my bad.
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