"You don't want to be motivated? No problem. I got something for ya'!" -- DS Ortiz, 3rd Plt. D Co., 2-47 Inf. Rgt. Ft. Benning

"Get down and grab some real estate!" DS Ussery, 3rd Plt. D Co., 2-47 Inf. Rgt. Ft. Benning

"I'm gonna choke you out!" DS Monsulick, D Co., 1-222 AVN Rgt., Ft. Eustis

"Snapperhead!" DS Chandler, D CO., 1-222 AVN Rgt., Ft. Eustis

"That's ****ed-up like a chicken-wire canoe!" SSG Dixon, USAALS, Ft. Eustis

Matt
SPC, AV
US Army
OCS Selectee
Class 303-09

"Don't think, because when you do you just fork up!"

Airborne School:

"You know, all you have to do is quit!"

"Thats close enough, attach the rest on the way down. NOW GO!!!"

Northern Warfare School:

"That's as wrong as two men farking!"

"I want that knot as tight as a 7 year old girl's <expletive deleted>."*

Motor Pool Sergeant at FT Benning:

"Oh no Sir, I didnt cannibalize that deadlined 5 Ton. Thats against the regs! We're conducting a controlled substitute!" said two weeks after cannibalizing the deadlined 5 Ton truck.

"Lieutenant, shouldnt you go back to your office and take care of that paperwork?" Said to me when the motorpool NCOs were about to break the rules to fix a problem.


*The two Sergeants who taught my section at Northern Warfare were a bunch of old school grunts. They chose our section because it was all male. A female Cadet in another section heard this comment once and lodged a complaint. After that, they quit using this comment....sort of. It then became "You know how tight I want that knot!"

you`re movin like pond water and pond dosen`t move

Aren't YOU the brightest rock in the pile!

Make like James Brown and get down!

Here, try mine. It's lighter. (during rifle drills. his was not lighter.)

HEY! ...Not you, but get down anyway.

Tighten it up, tighten it up, make your buddy smile.

Every swinging richard better be on this street lined up before I count to 10.

Don't puke on my street. Hell no, Did you just puke on my street. Get down and put it back where it came from.

You are so ugly, your daddy must have been a gorilla and your momma a buffalo. I'm going to call you Buffarilla.

Do you know why your ears stick out like that? It's because you were one of them sweet hippies with long hair and you used to pull it back behind your ears. You damn hippy, knock out 25.

What have those G-- Damn recruiters sent me? Mindless piles of schit.

I've got my eye on you.

I want that schitter clean enough for me to eat out of.

Are there anymore like you at home? I hope the Hell not.

Get out of my face Trainee.
Get back here Trainee.
Get out of my face Trainee.
Get back here Trainee.
Get out of my face Trainee.

Trainee messes up. Drill Sergeant gets in his face.
Do you know what it sounds like when two turtles f u c k.
No Drill Sergeant.
DS grabs a steel pot and wacks the crap out of the guys helmet.

"It don't rain IN the army, it rains ON the army." And- To a soldier about to ETS: "son you don't want to go out there, there's millions of civilians out there and no one's in charge." And, Spring breakup in Fairbanks, Alaska, when the snow melts and trash is visible everywhere"who's the senior NCO here? I want this place cleaned up by noon". Sgt Jerry Fears

"You don't want to get out of the Army. Go drive around any city. What do all the homeless bums have in common? Their all wearing Army field jackets. Thats what happens when you get out".

My old CSM, encouraging us to reenlist, and just being the inspiring guy he was.

"All this smiling and laughing and joking needs to cease. We could all be dead soon. Think about that."

My platoon sgt a day or two before we invaded Iraq attempting a pep talk. Figures, he is one of those 'real pretty' garrison Soldiers, and he more or less fell apart when it got real.


And this isn't really an NCO quote, but thinking of that last one reminds me of the funniest exchange I heard the whole war:

LT-"We need the AT4's!!! We need the AT4's!!! Sgt 'Doe', where the eff are the AT4's?!?!

Sgt'Doe'-"Pinned underneath the lawn chairs, the BBQ fell over on them!!!"

This wasn't funny at the time, we really did need the AT4's(that really were wedged under a 400lb smoker grill and the lawn chairs). But I'm still here, so it makes me laugh.

"If the shoe fits, You must be Cinderella!!"

" I am not your friend! Friendship leads to liking, liking leads to loving and we all know what loving leads to and there ain't none of you gonna do that to me!!!"

Fort Jackson-2007
"Its not your turn to talk, its your turn to shut the f-up."

"Range walk"

"My psychiatrist told me to count to 30 before I smoke you azzholes. 36, 37, 38... GET DOWN!"

"Knock 'em out, You. Get your azz out of the air. What do I look like, Ron Jeremy?!"

You can tell I've spent too much time in the Infantry. Even at work, during my relaxing summer job, when I give orders to my high school employees I end everything with "You." It's kinda funny that they mock me with it sometimes...

Because my AIT was fairly long, approximately 40 weeks, they were pretty relaxed with us. On Friday we had a formation about 1600 and we were free for the weekend after that. The only thing was that my 1SG would have a headcount formation on Sunday evening around 1700. Every Friday he would say:

"If you miss formation Sunday, you better have Jesus Christ with you when you get back".

"Private, you're a vision-quest of stupid!"

"I'd **** anything that moves and try to get that b**** pregnant."

"There is no reason to be afraid of IEDs, privates. If you get blown up, you're dead. If you don't die, you're ****ing alive."

On FTX during a massive thunderstorm:
"Privates, get your rifles out of the rain... and don't die."


I almost miss basic.

Ft. Benning, January-April 2009
Charlie 1/19
"Rock steady Drill Sergeant! Rock steady!"

quote:

I almost miss basic.

It'll pass. Just wait until you deploy. Then you'll miss that, too

quote:

Originally posted by pharoah_1701n:

quote:

I almost miss basic.

It'll pass. Just wait until you deploy. Then you'll miss that, too

Sir, I'm pretty excited about deploying. I guess that's the "silly private" in me. I don't think we'll be deploying anytime soon, though.

It's not silly. Deploying is fun, among other emotions. I deployed as a PFC straight after OSUT. I was excited, scared, and the rest. I can tell you when I deploy again, even though not as a private, I'll be scared a little, but more than excited enough to compensate.
Why won't you hit it soon? Did your unit just get back? When you want to, there are ways of making it happen, if that's the issue.

quote:

Originally posted by pharoah_1701n:

quote:

I almost miss basic.

It'll pass. Just wait until you deploy. Then you'll miss that, too

Not so much! I just got back from Iraq 8 days ago. While everyone's experiences are different, my deployment was pretty ate-up. Groundhog Day every day. And we said, "Every day is Monday in Iraq!"

So I'm not looking forward to deploying again, but providing everything goes well for me at OCS, my next deployment should be as an Engineer Officer, and provide lots of new experiences.

Matt
SPC, AV
US Army
OCS Selectee
Class 303-10

My bunk was 5 feet away from the DS's door. I looked forward to DS Mac greeting me at 430 every morning. It was our little ritual. I'd call at ease, he'd look at me with his arms crossed and his sun glasses and hat on and say "Landies, I ****in hate you"