What do you mean? Are you talking about leaving for training to WTC or, for good to your PDS, or even better yet Afghanistan? Too many ways to break down that question.
My family is already set up in the little town we live in and I don't want to up root them to follow me all over to world for my dreams. Just curios how many others were doing the same.
Well sir I can only answer this from experience. Begin the uprooting now!! Deployments and time in the field training are hard enough on a military family. The excitement of seeing other parts of the World or nation are good for your family. New schools, new friends, new atmosphere and new challenges all faced together as a "family". I was in the Marines 8 years and never met one Marine who had left his wife and kids behind. I do not care how many times a day you talk on the phone. If you are not together and spend time growing together as a family, you will definately grow apart. You will have plenty of time apart when you deploy so make sure they are there for you (At your PDS) when you get home! If you care at all about them, take them!!! There are no exceptions to this rule!!! Unless of course your wife is voted President. But, I assure you even then, the Army would station you in the D.C. area.
This is definitely an interesting thread to begin. This question, circumstances, complete change of life is much harder for the man who is uprooting a family who has never known and has no sense of the military experience whatsoever. I met my wife a full year after leaving the Navy. While I talked of the Navy a lot, my experiences, training, deployments, etc. she still seems to think it never really happened for me. She has seen many pictures but it is not real for her since she has never seen me in uniform going off to be deployed or simply going to work in the morning. I have been thinking of going back into the military pretty much from the moment I got out and it has taken 7 long years to finally decide 100% that this is what I want for my life. I have been working out hard (like a maniac really) and I think reality is dawning on her that it is coming and it is coming fast. She almost thinks of my time away on deployment or training as some sort of extended vacation where I'll be having loads of fun and she will be waiting patiently for me at home. She has asked me if she can live in NY or Boston while I am away so she can attend grad school. Even though I tell her there will be plenty of schools wherever our base might be she is very stubborn about the fact that she wants to live someplace interesting and not on or near an Army base. Last night in bed she was putting down the Army telling me they do not care about you, they give you a number and send you off and if you die "oh well", and if not, ok, you made it back home safe. I got extremely mad at this point and asked her where such views were born. And she replied "this is how I feel." I told her that her views were skewed and generally out of whack. To put it mildly, this life change I am about to go through can very definitely break up my marriage. However, I am doing it. Life on the outside is way too boring. Secondly I am not rich nor do I have a rich family so the opportunities to be had in the Army are not a dime a dozen on the outside for me as they might be for a select few. I have more thoughts on this subject and I anticipate being very active on this tread. Let the floodgates open fellas-
Originally posted by EdRedd: My family is already set up in the little town we live in and I don't want to up root them to follow me all over to world for my dreams. Just curios how many others were doing the same.
i have never met ANYONE who has left their family while in service. only temporarily when you have a unacompanied overseas assignment or somthing, but those dont happen back to back.
just like above, the moving to new areas is a perk as a military spouse, not to mention being with you. if she is not willing to experience that, and your willing to let her stay home, im not sure what to tell u.
I am in the same boat your in Seabeenyc. I am trying to loose 15lbs to join the Army. This will be my 3rd branch of the military. I am prior Navy and Coast Guard. My wife has done the military thing with me before and she is supportive of me joining the Army. She agrees that it would be the best thing for our family. When I first started talking about joining the Army she said she wasn't going to up-root and move where ever the Army stationed me and we would just have to see each other when ever we could visit. Now that I am really close to being able to join she is now saying she might go with me, she is not sure. It sucks!!. When it comes time to move though you never know she might come around when faced with the reality of years of seperation from you. Keep your head up!
I'll be leaving mine but only for a while. We own a pretty successful business that my wife runs. We make about 1.5 times what I'd make as an E-6 with BAH and other pay so it doesn't make sense to close it. Besides we don't want to pull the kids mid school year either. Our plan is for them to stay put until I finish all training and get to my permanent duty station. By that time we hope to have the house sold and a manager in place so she can run the store remotely and come back once a month to ensure everything is going good. Thankfully military life is no stranger to either of us. I was active duty for close to 9 years and she has 5 years active. Both Navy so we are used to deployments and all the other aspects of military life. Our kids will have the greatest learning curve as neither of them were exposed to that life.
It can be done. If you and your spouse are new this life style and you don't have a VERY strong marriage, you will most likely have problems.
We've been married for a while and she has not done a tour with me in the army. We have 2 sons in the Navy one has already done a tour in Afghastan with the marines so she does have a feel for deployment. Here is the rest of the story. She had a Kidney transplant aug 20th and she can't travel for atleast 2 years anyway. I have already been told I will get sent to Afganstan with in the first year. I'm 44 and she is there with me. I figure with leave and all the 4 day weekends I can get home alot. Have to have a place for the Navy boys to visit on holidays. This wont be the first time we have been apart and it will be a strain but GOD guides all. It's all in what you believe in.
Well I can honestly say, in my eight years of prior service, I never met anyone that had a wife with a recent kidney transplant. Sounds like you have no choice for a couple of years. I can also assure you the odds of anybody being in the same situation as you are pretty slim. I hope she has a good and speedy recovery. Good luck and see you in the desert!
Since like me your over 40 you will have extra blood work done. They will do fasting labs the include Lipids panel (HDL, LDL, Todal Cholesterol, Triglycerides and glucose). My recruiter told me the every over 40 he has sent up got DQ'd on this but everyone was waivered. If you can I'd go to a civilian clinic and get this done first to have an idea of where you are and if you have time get the numbers in line. I got my waiver but it only took me 2 weeks of changing my diet and stepping up exercise to get my numbers in line with the Army standards.
Your Total Cholesterol needs to be below 200 HDL higher then 39 LDL lower then 99 Triglycerides lower then 150 glucose between 65 and 99
Ask to have fasting labs that include a Lipids panel and glucose.
Thanks for the info Mike. I took all my blood work and EKG results form Emory hosp donor program to try and speed this up. Hopefully this will work but if not I'll keep trying. once again thanks for the info. Good luck to all who's still trying.
I am happy that you guys are trading information on how to get things done but keep the conversation relevant to the thread. People follow these threads by email and they do not necessarily want to hear about lipid and cholesterol levels. You have gone off on a major tangent. Start another thread or communicate by email.
Originally posted by seabeenyc: To put it mildly, this life change I am about to go through can very definitely break up my marriage. However, I am doing it.
I am sorry to hear you are having this confrontation with your wife. Just a little background. I am on my 3rd marriage. Unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way in my first two. Now, in my 3rd (and last), we have been together 15 years. I can tell you a successful marriage is most definately all about making sacrifices for each other. If she is not willing to sacrifice going to the best schools to support you and your military career, her priorities are definately skewed. I did not ask my wife if I could join, I told her this is what I want to do. Knowing, that no matter what came out of my mouth, she would fully support me and my decision......That is love. You definately need to talk to her and get her mind right. Anybody can be married, staying married takes work and sacrifice.
This message has been edited. Last edited by: BIGTALIKILLER,
Originally posted by EdRedd: How many will be leaving thier family behind when they leave to finish what they started with the army?
Most likely (IF I get a joint spouse assignment) I'll be an hour and half north of my son and husband, I'll stay in the barracks so my husband can stay in the base house with our son since his job is much more stable. But this will all be worth it!
