TO THOSE OF YOU WHO HAVE AND ARE CURRENTLY FIGHTING ON BEHALF OF OUR COUNTRY & FREEDOM... I SALUTE YOU!!!!


First off want to appologize if it seems like im rambling, i have noone to turn to for this advice... thank you in advance!

Im looking to enlist, mostlikely Army Guard or Reserves. Yes, i want to servce my country but wont lie i like the educational benefits that is offered. I currently work as a Corrections Officer for a Sheriffs Office. I have no college degree, but i have some college credits. I want to finish college, but we dont have the finacial stability for me to go back to school. Her parents pay for her to go back to school and she just currently enrolled in Baker College in the Radiology Program. I feel like she can better herself but i can not.....I wont ask her parents to pay for me to go to school.

Since my state, Michigan, Is broke as a joke guess theres no difference to go guard over reserves at this point. When i oringally spoke to my wife about this she was ok with me enlisting, BUT only if i were to enlist into the Air National Guard. Reason being, i found out the recruiter called the house one day and i was not home. She had a chance to speak to him and he told her in the ANG is the least likely to deploy and its usually voluntary based and if i do its only 6 months at a time and vary rare. NOW I KNOW THATS A LOAD OF HORSE $h!T. Yes i know they deploy for 6 months but they arent only voluntary basis. Hell the SF unit i was looking to join just deployed a few weeks ago. Anyways so she had her hopes on me joining the ANG only being gone 4-6 months for training being home to serve my one weekend a month two weeks a year deal. well I have since found out i would not be able to land a SF position with the Air Guard (they are full) so i turned to the Army. At first she seemed to be ok then the other night HUGE fight. She tells me she didnt know id be deploying and how is that going to benefit me, her and our two young children (one & 7 yrs old) going to war. I told her i was unable to promise her i would or would not be deployed, its the needs of any/all branches of service in support of the war. Deployments would vary length service to service and there needs in war for my particular MOS/Unit. Im looking at possibly MP or something in the Intel. Anyways...she tells me she wants to see it all on paper before i enlist yadda yadda. Huge fight she finally tells me do what i want do what makes me happy.

Is there any advice someone can give me to make her understand why I to do this? She cant graps it... She says she doesnt want to talk to the recruiter with me she wants to talk to the person that has it all on paper before i sign.

How do i get her to support me in this? Her dad is the same way giving me $h!t for wanting to do this and bashing me over leaving two young kids and a wife home while im gone...

PLEASE ADVICE ANYTHING ID APPRECIATE IT... SHES MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY BUT ITS SOMETHING I WANT TO DO!


HOPEFULLY A FUTURE PFC

Sounds to me like you have your head on straight. What part of Michigan? Are you close to the state borders? You could join a neighboring states NG. They may have better benefits. I was in the IL NG a long time ago, and their benefits for college were great! I don't know why your wife, and her dad have a stick up their butt. They'll get over it. In the long run, your trying to better yourself.

Well first off. It's between you and your wife, the in-laws, recruiters, etc....all background noise. They can give input but it's your right to disregard it....your not married to any of them. I don't know what your relationship is with your Father-In-Law but if he is lecturing you, he isn't respecting you. If it was me I would tell him to STFU (nicely of course). Of course there might be ramifications with your wife there if you do that.

So focus in on your wife first of all because thats the only person your married to here.

You may not be paying for her college but she is attending college with your consent and you are a equal partner in the marriage so it is partly your decision. So this should be a joint decision and she is either going to support you or not support you in the decision.

Your going to be away for a year probably at some point, so your wife has a point on the sacrifice she has to make.

However, isn't your wife absent the household while she attends school. Doesn't her parents paying for the school have strings attached (you better believe it and your wife better believe it....payment will come due at some point). Doesn't your wife have to take time away from the household for homework and school activities (add it up). So your sacrificing something for your wife to attend school and so are the kids, IMO.

Your wife has a valid argument with you joining a Combat Arms unit. I don't know what to tell you there but your risk of physical debilitating injury is greater there (even if it was peacetime) then it would be in a support unit. So thats a problem you have to address to her satisfaction.

I think if it is something you really want to do then that is a large part of it but you do have kids to think about and you do have to address the WHAT IF's here. I guess one thing you can stress here is how this will change you and the approach to your family. How the family will benefit from the sacrifice they are about to make.

It's great your both taking this crappy time in our Economy to evaluate and address future income. To me that means your good Parents looking out for your family's well being.

I lived in the Detroit area 1991-1994 so I know where your comming from in regards to the economic wasteland of Michigan. I'll tell you those years I never felt so insecure about a job I held....ever. It was like each day I completed I felt lucky to have a job. I was so happy to leave that state, it was constant doom and gloom there. I remember working in Detroit when they tried to tell me they were part of the Northeast U.S. and not part of the Midwest. Pretty humorous.

Anyhow, Good Luck and hope it turns out well for you.

I attended college via the Army College Fund so I avoided the Parents pay for college never ending repayment plan.

I can tell you from my Brothers and Sisters your wife is going to be hearing about that tuition payment plan from her Parents the rest of the time they are on the Earth. Each time they need something from her it will be "Didn't we help you through college?". So thats what I am talking about strings attached.

It's like joining the Mob, so watch the Godfather this weekend with your wife by your side.

quote:

At first she seemed to be ok then the other night HUGE fight. She tells me she didnt know

I don't know about family, but as far as getting others to see your point of view... It's a process. They may never understand. Like Erich said, your wife is the only one you have to convince. I'm lucky that my other half likes me being in. I've had a girlfriend or two that never took my service seriously, though. They're not my girlfriends anymore.
You have to convince your wife. Normally, I'd say not to let a woman get in the way of your dreams, but since y'all have two kids you kinda HAVE to listen to her. But she has to listen to you as well. It might take extra time, but try it.
As far as your lifemap, have you written in out?
What month would/could you deploy? When would you be gone? When would you get back from BCT/AIT? When would you start school? Without deployments, what classes would you take when and what semester would you graduate? If you deploy once, when would you graduate?
Write out this plan and show it to people. It'll show them you're more serious and they might find advantages to themselves in it. I'm sure if you could show your wife you'd have a BA/BS in the next 5/6 years and MAKE THE MONEY that comes with it, she'd be happier. I know how my girl thinks, anyways...
Good luck, and glad to see a guy with a head on straight trying. Remember, above all else, while a Soldier you're in it to serve your country. The college money is just a perk.

I am from the Detroit area as well, Eastpointe to be exact, formerly known as East Detroit. I grew up at a Marine Corps brat my whole life so i know the just of the military life style.. i was a baby-jar head at birth so to speak. I completely understand her when she says absolutely no way to active duty. She doesnt want to move away from her family and bounce the kids all over gods country like i did when i was young. Understandable, when i was young i hated making new friends every couple of months, but now i look back and think it was the best thing in the world meeting new people and the contacts i have still from it.

ErichG2--- funny you should mention the MOB. Shes straight up ITALIAN, enough said, LOL.
Ive made a spread sheet to show her the perks of the military, how/when id attend classes, advantage to the college money and the possibility of transfering the GIBILL to her or either child. Showed her the ins and outs of deployments to the best of my knowlege and what i have gathered from readings on here. Her mom backs me 100% and so do my parents. I just keep getting the lectures from her dad about how its not good for the kids how ill go to war and not come home. Of course i make the smart @ss comments back saying Well if i dont come home then she will have a good chunk of money from my life insurance from the military as well as my state government job! DONT THIK HE LIKED THAT LOL....


I apprciate all the feed back.. makes me feel better and makes me feel like i am doing the right thing for myself as well as my family!

Tell him (the Dad) you don't plan on dying for your country- you plan on making the other dumb SOB die for his.
In 2004 it was statistically safer to be a US Soldier in Iraq than a black man in Detroit. No lies. I'll try to find the link for where I got that.
You're doing the right thing. Most problems you'll ever have with civilians is their ignorance of the military. A little bit of information in the right place usually clears this right up.

My first job after college, GM World HQ on Grand Avenue in the New Center area. Detroit Mayor Coleman Young thought it would be a good idea to move drug rehab there.

So when we used the streets vs the underground tunnels going to lunch, you could hear the distinct crunch of hypodermic needles underfoot. Then like pharoah implied you could hear the gunshots every so often (no lie....not exaggerating here).

Then there was Devils Night from the 15th floor of the GM building it looked like an absolute warzone. Police Helos hovering over various parts of Detroit with those spotlights down to the ground, fires in various places.

The frosting on the cake of course was turning on the 10 p.m. news and listening to Bill Bonds who was obviously drunk, deliver the news in slurred speech making overly sexist comments about women. It's sad what happened to his kid but really he made it worse by comming apart on the air like that.

I remember the freeway sniper on the Lodge. Hey he missed me...lol.

Then there was the Cinder Block chucker, I think 2-3 people died from one of those flying through the windshield. He missed me too...lol.

I even remember MoTown records down the street and the scandle when someone broke in and stole Micheal Jackson's glove.

Then there was Starsky and Hutch from the Detroit Police, remember that pair of cops.....lol

Oh yes, Lee Iococca, Remember one of his comments to the press "Mini-vans are our best seller, Women love mini-vans because they can sit up high from the road.....makes them feel like they are actually in charge of something".....LMAO. The Women of Detroit loved Lee and his comments like this to the press.

That city was a mess and from what I read it hasn't changed much.

Good Luck to you on your goal here though.

I think she will come on board once you show her benefits, the guys you serve with in the unit, your equipment, etc. So include her as much as you can in the NG unit. It helps her and your in-laws if they know what your doing, what your mission is and that you will be looked after to an extent.

quote:

Originally posted by pharoah_1701n:
Tell him (the Dad) you don't plan on dying for your country- you plan on making the other dumb SOB die for his.
In 2004 it was statistically safer to be a US Soldier in Iraq than a black man in Detroit. No lies. I'll try to find the link for where I got that.
You're doing the right thing. Most problems you'll ever have with civilians is their ignorance of the military. A little bit of information in the right place usually clears this right up.

Yes it is a statistic about black men in detroit. I know what your talking about i have read and heard that statistically Iraq is actually safer then Detroit.

----------------------------------------

azmax64

Since ive gone through MEPS here, if i were to head down to Ohio to a guard or reserve unit would i have to redue the whole meps process or would my info be transfered down?



APPRICIATE ALL THE SUPPORT AND THANKS FOR DEFENDING OUR NATION!

quote:

azmax64
Since ive gone through MEPS here, if i were to head down to Ohio to a guard or reserve unit would i have to redue the whole meps process or would my info be transfered down?

APPRICIATE ALL THE SUPPORT AND THANKS FOR DEFENDING OUR NATION!

Roughly an hour and twenty-three minutes from my house to the 323D Military Police Co in Toledo, OH.

Think thats a feasible? Not sure what OH benefits are but they have to be better then what MI benefits are.

You'll have to redo some of the paperwork, yes. The big thing to look at is to make sure, if you go to Ohio, that their benefits don't require you to be an Ohio resident. If they do, you can't collect. Check on that first, if the benefits are your number one concern.
Keep us in the loop, and share your experiences with us. Your story can help a lot of others in the same boat as yourself.

I got the same thing (and am still getting it) from my wife, but I went ahead and did it anyways. With my ten years active and a couple of reserve deployments, my retirement should be pretty good, not to mention the health care benifit which is like an extra $1000 per month. If you wife is against a combat arms MOS then you should consider the reserves, mostly logistics tec... That is how I got the wife to tone down her bit**ing. I was in the guard for a year in a field artillery unit. Then I switched to the reserves as a watercraft operator using my Navy experience.

Good luck

hey man i understand your position but hang in there you're doing the right thing like they said you're married to your wife and she needs to understand where your coming from but she's the only person who you need to have the ok from, i like you am from mid-michigan (north of lansing) i know that the michigan national guard is broke they aren't doing any signing bonuses and some educational benefits are not being payed.... with that being said they have an MP unit in owosso actually and one way north of here by the bridge and i know that unit has MP jobs open right now, i am enlisting in the army reserve i looked at MP there too and they offer signing bonuses and all educational benefits but they're full you might have to get double slotted and forfeit the bonus but the have an MP unit in jackson, i'm enlisting as a 35m my unit is in detroit it might be a good option for you similar in some ways to law enforcement but its alot of training, the unit i joined is looking for more 35m who are willing to speak or learn russian, its alot of training though but they have good incentives and awesome training! so i would drop the guard just cause you're in michigan cause it sucks here we're broke and look at the army reserves

Well my wife doesn't know the difference in which MOS's would be combat arms and whats not. As far as she knows every "job" deploys to war. I gave up trying to talk to her about it after yet another huge fight. Then i get the snarlly answer...."DO WHAT EVER FRICKEN MAKES YOU HAPPY!" I try to explain that she has to voice her opinion in the matter cuz its going to eat me alive if i go and i know she doesnt support me. She just gives me that answer none stop. Finally i said yup it is what will make me happy.. we havent talked much since!! oops!


To SuperZman-

What Unit out of Detroit? I might have to look into that, 35M would be pretty nice. Anything i can use in the long run outside of the military im game for. Alot of civi law enforcement agencies are always in need of bilingual officers!!

Mention that as a NG Soldier you do much more than war-time operations. You support local law enforcement in state emergencies or in support of Homeland Security operations. You work against nature in natural disasters. You get loads of free training and a respectable resume. And yes, you deploy to war as a bastion of hope, beacon of light, and bearer of the Democracy we celebrate at home.
It sounds like it's getting to the point where you might have to tell her that you're going to do it anyways, and if she doesn't voice her opinion she won't get another chance to. Then again, my joining the Guard 6 years ago cost me my fiance. In the end, it was a great trade. Not that you should end up on this path- au contraire. Just saying, be careful, and start thinking strategy. Is there a chance she would leave you for this? If not, then charge ahead full-speed and get'r'done!

quote:

. Then again, my joining the Guard 6 years ago cost me my fiance. In the end, it was a great trade. Not that you should end up on this path- au contraire. Just saying, be careful, and start thinking strategy. Is there a chance she would leave you for this? If not, then charge ahead full-speed and get'r'done!

I just tested that out... haha She said "Do whatever it is that makes you happy." So i told her, oh yea so i enlist then my first 14 month deployment to A-stan i come home to either my **** in the garbage or an empty house cuz you left me.... She says "is that what your worried about, Me leaving you? HELLO COME BACK TO REALITY!"

So im guessing she wont be happy with me about it nor like it but will still be there!

If your wife is not backing you on this, and from your posts, it seems she is not, you are gambling with your marriage.

The military [places a lot of stressors that most marriages experience in the civilian world. There is the very real possibility that she may decide it isn't worth it.

Something you need to seriously consider.

yeah 35m would get you alot of good experience and look pretty darn awesome on the resume, anyways its in frasier, michigan near detroit its a US Army Reserve unit, i believe its the 306th MI but im not sure, one thing to consider is that this would be alot of training and your wife may not be up to it, the Lt. over there wants to send his 35m's to DLI and he wants them learning russian, arabic, or mandarin so you're looking at being gone for a very long time but like i said its in frasier, if you want more information let me know i can get you a recruiter who could get you in and talking with them

Wife + 2 kids = 3 dependents. Prolly gonna need a waiver for that.

quote:

Originally posted by SuperZman:
yeah 35m would get you alot of good experience and look pretty darn awesome on the resume, anyways its in frasier, michigan near detroit its a US Army Reserve unit, i believe its the 306th MI but im not sure, one thing to consider is that this would be alot of training and your wife may not be up to it, the Lt. over there wants to send his 35m's to DLI and he wants them learning russian, arabic, or mandarin so you're looking at being gone for a very long time but like i said its in frasier, if you want more information let me know i can get you a recruiter who could get you in and talking with them

Yea i currently live in Eastpointe.. Frasier is a hop, skip, and a jump from my place! Ive been talking to Sgt. Taylor at the recruiting office in Eastpointe. So far everything is good to go. Just a matter of having her on my side or not...