Okay, here's the situation: upcoming deployment (not even sure who's going yet), Captain who's acting Commander states that ALL FRG meetings are now mandatory attendance by either the soldier or his/her spouse.
Now, I know that by regulations, FRG's cannot be made mandatory. Can't force people to attend these meetings, but this one is....but that's another issue altogether.

Here's my situation. Winter concert for Girl was rescheduled due to freak snow storm up here at Lewis. It's been scheduled to take place on the same date and time as the next FRG. My husband will not miss a concert for the Girl.
So, how do we approach this guy to tell him that we will not be attending this FRG meeting? They're having a combo-meeting next week that is a pre-deployment meeting, therefore the 28th meeting will pretty much be a mute point for us to attend both meetings for the same thing. Info won't change in 2 weeks time...trust me on this.

Any thoughts on how to approach the Captain/Commander on this?? Thanks.

Actually, BAW they can be made mandatory for the soldier. Every FRG I have been apart of (3) has made it mandatory right before deployment for either the soldier or a family member to be there. Even the single soldiers had to come. So it's not really suprising.

I think Bobby should just be honest and tell him the situation. Surely the guy will be a little understanding with this, and if he's not, that just plain sucks. Maybe he can still go and make it in time. Or maybe Bobby can go to some of the FRG meeting and cut out early so he can still make it to part of the concert.

Good Luck!

FRG's are voluntary. The Command cannot make a standing order that either a soldier or a spouse must attend FRG meetings, and that if either one does not attend that there will be consequences to the soldier. This Command, I use that term loosely here, is butt-hurt because they have no attendance whatsoever, the Captain is running the FRG even though his wife is supposedly the FRG Leader---she's not. She chimes in on things, sends emails, but otherwise doesn't do anything. *shrugs*

That being said, they don't even know who's going yet. This deployment, if it happens, is still more than 6-8 months away. Captain has a newborn and a 3 year old--he can't relate to those of us who have older kids at all, so he has no idea the dynamics of our family and how we work---mainly on how important it is for the Girl to have her daddy be there for these concerts when he's home. Now that I think about it, we're the ONLY ones in this unit with teenagers! lol...feeling old suddenly.

I sent an email off to his wife, the supposed Leader, letting her know that we have a schedule conflict that night. She doesn't even know that the pre-deployment meeting is next week or that the FRG meeting is scheduled yet! Apparently her husband hasn't told her yet.....this Command is just messed up....the red-headed step-child if you will.

Do they call roll or make everyone sign in at these meetings? If not then there is no way to know if everyone went to the meeting. If so, then you're in a bit of a sticky situation. Even if they do call roll or make everyone sign in, the question then comes up as to whether the Captain knows all of the spouses. I'm not advocating anything that would get GH in trouble but there are ways around everyone signing in but not actually being there. I bet you can figure out a couple of these real quick. The important thing is to make sure that you have somebody there that will take good notes for anything that comes up and then be sure to review the notes before muster the next morning.

BAW, I'm going to have to agree with Tn on this one. A commander, especially pre-deployment, can absolutely make FRG meetings mandatory for the soldier to attend. He can make this to be considered part of the pre-deployment training and preparation. Family members are very highly encouraged to attend also, but they cannot make it mandatory for family members.

If the commanders wife, who is the leader, doesn't know that this meeting is even scheduled yet, it sounds like there are some major communication issues between those two and it makes for a very confusing FRG.

I would also just explain the situation and see if maybe you can get a copy of the minutes from the secretary of the FRG so you know what went down. (Assuming that they do take minutes.)

quote:

Originally posted by mturnb:
Do they call roll or make everyone sign in at these meetings? If not then there is no way to know if everyone went to the meeting. If so, then you're in a bit of a sticky situation. Even if they do call roll or make everyone sign in, the question then comes up as to whether the Captain knows all of the spouses. I'm not advocating anything that would get GH in trouble but there are ways around everyone signing in but not actually being there. I bet you can figure out a couple of these real quick. The important thing is to make sure that you have somebody there that will take good notes for anything that comes up and then be sure to review the notes before muster the next morning.

That sounds kind of sneaky and dishonest.

quote:

Originally posted by LadyHarleyRider:
BAW, I'm going to have to agree with Tn on this one. A commander, especially pre-deployment, can absolutely make FRG meetings mandatory for the soldier to attend. He can make this to be considered part of the pre-deployment training and preparation. Family members are very highly encouraged to attend also, but they cannot make it mandatory for family members.

Every unit that my DH has ever deployed with has had this policy when the meeting dealt with deployment issues. Single soldiers had to be their regardless and the SM or the spouse had to be there. It solved the issue of someone claiming they were never given the information. That being said, the Commander always left leeway if there were conflicts. Just be honest and let them know the situation.

Everyone is still trying to catch up with all the freaky weather we have been having in WA!

lol...freaky weather is right!!

Well, the issue has apparently resolved itself....the Girl's concert date has been changed yet again. It was originally Dec16, but because of the freak snow storm we got it was changed. And now it's changed again to an earlier date.

quote:

Originally posted by bobbysangelwife:
lol...freaky weather is right!!

Well, the issue has apparently resolved itself....the Girl's concert date has been changed yet again. It was originally Dec16, but because of the freak snow storm we got it was changed. And now it's changed again to an earlier date.

There you go! Problem solved!

oops, I came late.lol

Good the concert was changed.
Just a quick note for the future when deployments are close meeting can be mandatory for the service member at least that's the way the army did it with us both times.

Yeppers, problem resolved itself. Thank goodness, there's enough going on without the added BS of others.