You have always given me wonderful advice and have often steered me in the direction I needed to go. And now I'm at a crossroads concerning the FRG that I am in.

I was voted in as a Co Leader for the FRG. Actually my friend said they voted me in to be the Leader. I didn't really care if I was the Co-Leader or not. I just knew that I wanted to do something for the FRG and make a difference.

But lately the person I am sharing this position with, has set the mood, tone, and how things are going to be done in the FRG without informing me, asking for my opinion, as well as my decision for this whole thing.

We had a focus group session. I thought that was a good idea seeing we could be brainstorming. But getting to this meeting, she had an agenda already, discussed this with 2 other members prior to, and pretty much made the other members feel slighted when they shared their thoughts and views because it wasn't on her Agenda. She had mentioned to me that she would make an agenda, again I read and re-read her emails, nothing about an agenda.

She goes on saying how this other person is a wonderful asset to the FRG and that her ideas were fresh and new. I had no problems with that. I have no problems with new people, I only wanted to be informed about these things in advance so I didn't look stupid and lost. Because yes, as a Co-leader who will be taking this position in December when she's gone, I will end up with all the responsibility.

She thanked me for being at the focus group like I was one of the other members. It upset me greatly because I knew I had to be there because of my responsibility to the FRG.

And now I told her maybe I should just step down from my position. She replied, that's up to you.

This is the person who has caused many rifts and burned so many bridges with the other wives in the battery. Her attitude is the one that falls under "I am a SGT's wife so deal with it if you are beneath me." Yes, she wears her husband's rank. The other person who she said is a great asset to the FRG is a 2nd LT's wife. So yes, an officer's wife.

I felt there needed to be a balance concerning this matter, because she had hurt me in the past with her "I'm higher ranking than you." also a few other ladies were hurt by her behavior because she didn't get her way. So I said to the other ladies, I'll step up and try to bring this to order. How did I get wrangled in to be with her as a leader? She begged me to go do this with her. But now there is someone who has a husband higher ranking than mine, I'm not needed anymore.

And the theme that night of the focus group that she so mentioned several times was, it's the same key volunteers dontating their time, effort, and money they get nothing in return. I'm so sick and tired of that. That we get nothing at the end.

Honestly I thought volunteering meant you may go without even a thank you. I was so disappointed that she made sure to point out that she was unappreciated and never got anything in return. Oh I failed to mention, she said she better get a coin before she leaves here because of all the hard work she put int. Interesting huh?

I understand you need to have thick skin and not let these small things get to you. But I'm feeling that if I leave, I would make a larger impact than she could ever imagine. Because a lot of the other wives who've never wanted to be in the FRG are now looking at it because of the relationships I've developed with them. I have invested in these relationships personally. I have made the time and effort to reach out to them.

What do you think? Should I walk away from it all, seriously if I do I won't want anything to do with this FRG ever, except for getting information and if I can do anything to help with the soldiers I'll donate my time for them. I just think if they can be productive I don't want rock their boat.

Or should I stay and fight this? The other spouses want me to stay and deal with it till she leaves, but I do not care to be disrepected by this immature little girl who thinks she's above everyone.

Please any thoughts on this?

I gave in to her asking because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt that maybe I can find the goodness in her. But I seriously couldn't find anything but selfishness.

If it were ME.. yes, I would walk away..and I would bring everyone else who felt the same way with me. so that in December when it came time for her Farewell.. she would indeed get nothing.

you can always come back in December and pick up the pieces.. so long as you keep the lines of communciation open with the friends you have made.

Thanks Mrsjvb. I find that walking away would definitely leave an impact and imprint on their minds.

I definitely will keep the lines open with all those who I've developed friendships with

Tell her that you feel that you can't give the FRG what it needs right now and walk away from being Co-President, you could though help in other ways. Then when she leaves you can step up to the plate again if you want to. Not all Officer's wives show their dh's rank or act superior. I have met some wonderful ladies over the years and never knew what their dh's did until after we knew each other for awhile.

NWIP, I agree with you. Not all NCO's wives or officers' wives are like this one. The LTC's wife that I met 2 years ago, and she just left because it was their time to move. She was one of the nicest people I've known here. She probably never really remembered my name, but she recognized me and often spoke to me in passing. She was a great Batallion FRG leader in my opinion.

The last commander and his wife were wonderful people. They blessed my life and had enriched it by just being a part of it for this short time.

That's why I felt neeeded to step up to the plate.

But this one spouse, who is now the leader,supposed to be my co-leader, seriously wears her husband's rank. Her husband is just a SGT. That's it. An E-5, 1 above my husband.

That is my problem.

Thank you for your advice. I'll definitely try to do my best to express myself when I have the opportunity and thank the ladies for their judgment and faith in me by their votes. So I'll try to leave them a little better than before I met them.